Loss
by CJ - Lady of Gryffindor
Summary: After a sudden death, InuYasha is left to pick up the pieces and try to hold everyone together.
1. Chapter One Loss and rage

I Don't own InuYasha, Rumiko Takahashi Does. But this story is mine, so stealing is a no-no:)

Warning...Mild violence and Language

Chapter One--Rage

ooooooo

Her cries tore at him, but he knew to give in would be so much worse. To give in would mean death.

"Let me go you damn bastard!" She screamed as she kicked and clawed at him.

It would mean the loss of another friend.

Losing Miroku was hard enough. He wasn't about to allow Sango to join him as he was sucked into the darkness and void

of Naraku's curse.

"Let me go InuYasha! I can still…"

"Still die with him?" Kagome screamed from under his other arm, "You think that's what Miroku would want? For you to

die with him?"

Then it was quiet. InuYasha didn't know which was worse. The gushing and howling wind of the Kazaana, Miroku's

screams as his bones splintered from the force of the pressure. Or the haunting silence that fell over the crater

that had been the scene of such violence just a moment before. Deadly quiet dominated, broken by the sound of a young

kitsune sobbing.

InuYasha softly set the two women back on the ground. Kagome set Shippo down next to Kirara, but didn't move, and

InuYasha was grateful. He needed her, and as always, she seemed to sense it and stayed close. He kept his arm around

her, she moved closer to him, sliding her arms around his middle, letting her cheek fall onto his chest.

For a moment, Sango seemed frozen, unable to move.

"I'm sorry Sango," Kagome said, lifting her head "But we couldn't just…"

Sango snapped out of her daze and she turned, shaking her head, the gesture stopped Kagome from finishing.

Sango turned again and began to walk to the huge crater.

"Okay." Kagome said softly.

Sango walked to where Miroku's staff still lay, knelt down, and lovingly pick it up. InuYasha gave Kagome a slight

squeeze, reminding her that she wasn't alone. She let her head fall forward and cried into his chest. He put his other

arm around her and held her.

He had never felt so helpless before. Not even when he had realized that, there was no escape from Kikyo's arrow. He was use to taking action when one of them was in trouble. And when Miroku's curse turned on him, all he could do was stand there and watch Miroku die. He had been useless.

At least he had been able to stop Sango from running to him, dying with him. That was some consolation.

Sango stood now in the middle of the crater where Miroku had taken his last breath on earth, clutching his staff to her

chest. She didn't cry, or blink. She simply stood with her face to the wind.

InuYasha felt Kagome pull away and he looked down. Shippo had fallen asleep with Kirara wrapped around him,

in the soft grass at Kagome's feet. Kagome brushed her fingers softly over his cheek, and then she signaled to InuYasha

with her eyes that she was going to go be with Sango. He reached down and caught her hand, following her to the crater.

Sango didn't turn as they approached.

Kagome reached for Sango's hand, but she jerked away.

"Sango"

Sango still didn't turn, but spoke softly.

"Leave me."

Kagome stepped closer. "Sango please let us be with you. We want to help…."

Sango laughed bitterly.

"You've helped enough."

"Sango…" InuYasha stepped closer to try to talk to her and Sango spun around, aiming and connecting her fist squarely

with his jaw.

"I said leave me be"

Shock registered on InuYasha and Kagome's faces and InuYasha stepped back, pulling Kagome's hand to urge her back with

him. Kagome stood her ground, stubbornly firm.

"Sango….hitting InuYasha isn't going to…."

Sango raised her fist again, connecting with Kagome's face, bringing blood to her nose and lower lip.

Kagome touched her face, more scared for her friend than herself. She reached out for Sango's hands.

"Sango…"

Sango reached out and slapped her hard. "Are you deaf or stupid? I said leave me the fuck alone!"

"Sango stop it!" InuYasha stepped in front of Kagome protectively. Let Sango take out her anger on him, but he wasn't

about to let her lay a hand on Kagome again.

Sango sat down on the ground and whispered "I said leave me be."

"Sango please…"Kagome cried, frustrated, wanting so badly to comfort.

"Kagome." InuYasha turned and took her hand, pulling her away "Give her some time."

Kagome nodded sadly, tears falling down her cheeks to mix with the blood on her lips and jaw.

He hunched down by Sango for a moment.

"We won't leave you Sango, so you can forget that. Were here when you decide you need us."

Sango didn't speak until they had climbed out of the crater and were out of earshot.

She whispered, "I needed you to let me die with Miroku."

The kitsune and two-tail had awoken at the noise, now they crept up to her, and silently sat down next to her. When

Kagome looked again, Shippo had worked his way into Sango's lap, Kirara slept next to her.

Kagome put her head down on her knees, careful to keep her eye, nose and lip from touching anything else.

"Let me see." InuYasha gently touched her shoulder

"I'm okay InuYasha."

"Kagome, lift your head."

"I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt."

"Kagome."

There was something in his tone, a sense of urgency, mixed with uselessness that begged out to her to look up.

"Doesn't hurt my ass." He said, sitting down in front of her and reaching for her backpack.

She had been hit on the same side of the face both times, her eye was already an angry black and blue. Welts and a

large bruise covered her cheekbone and jaw. Her bottom lip was split.

InuYasha took antiseptic out of Kagome's first aid kit and started to clean her lip. When the cotton wad touched her

lip, Kagome hissed in her breath and backed off.

"Stings huh." InuYasha said, thinking back on all the times Kagome had called him a baby for wincing at the sting.

"What are we going to do InuYasha?" Kagome looked up at him with liquid eyes, she blinked and her tears fell over

onto her cheeks

He put a butterfly bandage on her lip and wiped at her tears with his knuckle. "I don't know. "

He packed away the supplies and sat in front of her, holding one of her hands, playing with her fingers.  
"How are we going to go on without Miroku?" He looked at her and shook his head.

"I don't know"  
She shivered a little and he took off his hoari and covered her shoulders with it.

"What if Sango is never okay again?" she said. InuYasha shook his head in response.

"InuYasha." she said, her voice so soft it was barely a whisper "What if I lose you?" He looked at her, tears

streamed down her face in a torrent now. He reached out his hand and caressed her cheek with his knuckles.

"You won't."

"You can't promise that. Just like I can't pro…"

"Shut up Kagome." he said, pulling her close to him so he could hold her.

He stroked her hair and face gently on the side that wasn't hurt.

"Just shut up."

"InuYasha?" she asked in a soft whisper and pulled back from him.

"Yeah?" he looked into her eyes, unable to bear the sadness he saw there.

"I miss him. I already miss him so much."

"I know." He said, pulling her back to him. "Me too"

oooooo

The first slight streak of orange had just lit a tiny piece of the sky when Kagome opened her eyes. For a moment, she

felt the blissful freedom of reality that comes before dreams separate themselves from the day. Bliss was cut short by

a soft snore just above her head, reminding her that InuYasha had slept next to her last night. Had in fact held her

until she was able to sleep. It would have been the perfect way to wake up, if she hadn't remembered why he had held

her in the first place. She snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes again, wishing she could put off remembering a

little longer.

She licked her lips and felt the sting from the split lip Sango had given her the night before. She gasped a little bit from the unexpected sting.

"I'm sorry."

Kagome turned her head and found Sango sitting next to her on the side by her back. She sat up and turned. "Sango…"

"Kagome…I hurt you …..I'm sorry."

"It's gonna be okay Sango, I'll heal."

"Will I?" Sango put her hands on her face and began to sob.

Kagome put her arms around Sango and Sango fell into her sobbing.


	2. Chapter Two SunriseSunset

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, that pleasure belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I am just a humble fan who has the unimaginable gaul to jump on her bus. 

Uhmm.. If your reading this..how bout letting me know? I mean, come on, all these people looking but not reviewing?  
C'mon, my ego needs a boost here! Your not gonna make me beg are you? Roll over? Play dead? Woof? Pant Pant! Now see what you did? Im begging, rolling over and panting and Sesshomaru isnt even in this fic!

Review me PLEASE!

Uh...is that too desperate sounding, or just desperate enough?

Loss

Chapter Two

Sunrise - Sunset

Two weeks later

_The demon sneered at them, Kagome tightly in his grip._

_"Let her go you bastard!"_

_"She will be mine! Nothing you can do will stop me!"_

_"Don't be so fucking sure of that!" InuYasha glared at the demon, keeping its full attention while Miroku and Sango_

_moved in closer from behind._

_"Hiraikotsu!" Sango screamed, unleashing her weapon on the huge, unsuspecting bat demon._

_The claw that held Kagome was neatly sliced off, flying away from its body, Kagome coming loose in the process._

_"Kagome!" InuYasha jumped and caught her, holding her shaking body close. Kagome wrapped her arms tightly around his_

_shoulders. He hugged her to him, grateful that once again she was safe._

_"Sango, get away" Miroku yelled, preparing to remove the prayer beads that closed off his Kazaana. Sango ran to where_

_Kagome and InuYasha stood, while Miroku unleashed the hellish winds, sucking in the bat demon._

_InuYasha waited for Miroku to close the Kazanna, but he didn't. Instead, he began to be consumed himself._

_"Miroku! No!" Sango screamed running after him_

_"Sango, stop!" Kagome ran after Sango_

_InuYasha ran to stop them, but was tripped up by his own feet. By the time, he was back on his feet both Sango and_

_Kagome had begun to be sucked into the void._

_"Kagome! NO!"_

_She reached out her hand to him, begging him to help her. Her eyes were huge, pleading for rescue. He began to run to_

_her again, but seemed to make no ground._

_"InuYasha! Help me!" Kagome screamed._

_Suddenly all went silent._

_He was alone._

InuYasha's eyes shot open, his breath came in heavy gasps. Sweat soaked through his robe, drenching it, tears wet his

eyelashes.

When he caught his breath, he rolled over onto his side, draping an arm over the one who slept peacefully next to him,

pulling her close. He needed to touch her, feel her next to him, to smell her. It was the only thing that kept him

sane when he woke from the nightmares.

It had become his typical morning routine. The only difference was the nightmares. On a good night, he didn't fall,

and only Miroku died. On the worst nights, he was left alone in the silence. How horrifying it was to think only

losing one friend was good.

InuYasha rolled up onto his elbow and watched Kagome sleep. It was only their fourth morning back on the road since

Miroku died but already he felt a shift back to normalcy. Except for the fact that he had given up sleeping in the

trees in favor of holding Kagome, and being held by Kagome as they slept, things already had the flavor of the old

routine.

Shippo seemed to be his cheerful self again; he had taken to sleeping with Sango, offering her what little

comfort he was able. Shippo in fact had seemed to completely shift his favor. Where he had always made Kagome

the focus of his adoration, she was all but ignored now while he spent hours with Sango. Picking her flowers,

making her smile. Doing his best to replace the irreplaceable. They seemed to revolve around one another.

It was to InuYasha that Sango had taken on the spirit of polite indifference.

It had been that way from that first morning when he woke to find Sango and Kagome sitting in the crater

alternating laughing and crying, reliving memories of Miroku. When InuYasha tried to join them, she found a reason to

leave. She always found a reason to leave when he was around. Something moved out of the corner of his eye and

he turned his head to see Sango rising.

"Hey." he said to her

"Hello." Sango stood and walked away, ice practically falling off her.

InuYasha jumped up and followed her.

"Sango, how long are you going to stay mad at me?"

"Who said I was mad?"

"You've been avoiding me since Miroku died."

"I don't know what you mean." She turned to walk away from him and he moved in front of her. She tried to

step past him but he took her arm.

"I think you do"

Sango tried to pull away but he held her arm.

"Hey, what's all the yelling about?" Shippo sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes

"Do you think Miroku would have wanted you to die with him?"

Sango's face turned white and she turned away from him. InuYasha stepped in front of her again.

"Is that what you think Sango?"

"InuYasha, Sango…what's wrong?" Kagome stood up and walked to them

"Let me go InuYasha."

"Answer me, is that what you think? Because if he had loved you, he would have wanted you to live."

"Damn you!" Sango yelled in InuYasha's face "You ….Should have left me to die with Miroku; you had no right to

decide for me!"

"Who do you think made me promise to stop you?"

"Let me go InuYasha." Sango yelled, trying to pull away. "The sight of you makes me sick." She glared fiercely at the

hanyou.

"Sango, stop…." Shippo said

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm here because someone has to protect Kagome."

"Sango….." Kagome gasped

InuYasha paled.

"Who knows when you will let go of Tessiaga, transform, and tear her to pieces? How many times when Kikyo was still

alive did you run off to be with her and leave Kagome behind? The only reason Kagome is still alive is that Miroku

and I were here. She would be dead now if not for Miroku and I being here. You think I would leave her alone with YOU?

An irresponsible, selfish two-timing hanyou? Not on your life."

"Sango stop! Now!" Kagome grabbed Sango's arm

His entire body ached from her words. His voice was soft, weakened from pain. Even if her words were spoken in anger, He

couldn't deny that Sango was speaking the truth.

"Hate me, I don't care. As long as you're alive to do it, that's all that matters."

He turned away and walked into the forest.

oooooooo

Kagome finally understood how people could hit someone out of anger. At the moment, she felt like slapping

Sango silly. She turned to the demon slayer, her eyes shooting flames.

"How could you?" Her voice was little more than a whisper, yet spoke volumes.

"Kagome…"

"Damn it Sango. You act as if you're the only one hurting because Miroku died! He watched Miroku die too you know,

he stood there just as powerless as you and I were. Have you ever stopped to think how InuYasha felt?"

"I…." Sango started, but Kagome was far from finished.

"InuYasha is proud, and strong and powerful. But all he could do was stand there and do nothing while Miroku died.

Can't you imagine how it must have made him feel? Not being able to do anything to save Miroku? All he could do was

keep his promise."

"But….I …cared about him…"

"Do you think InuYasha didn't care?"

Sango looked at her, she shook her head slightly.

"Do you know why InuYasha quit sleeping in the tree?"

"Every night, he sees Miroku die over and over again. Some nights, he isn't able to stop you from going to him and you

die too. A few times, we have all died and he was alone again. Do you really have no idea of the burden he carries

for all of us? The last thing deserved is what he just got. He may not show it, but losing Miroku hurt him too, more

than you know.

"He didn't love him, like I…" Sango began to weep and Kagome went to her, hugging her

"I know. I know how much you loved him Sango. I know, he loved you too. But he wanted you to live and be happy."

"I don't think I can…"

"You have to find a way to. And you have to stop blaming InuYasha. None of us can begin healing until you let the

anger go. Miroku wanted you to live Sango."

"I feel so dead inside, Kagome. I know Miroku would want me to go on without him, but I don't know how to. I miss him

so much, my whole body hurts, I mean physically hurts, because he's gone."

"I'm so sorry Sango. I know it hurts, I miss him too. But you need to let us help you get through this. But, Sango,

InuYasha isn't your enemy. He made a promise to Miroku to keep you safe should the Kazanna turn on him. InuYasha was

keeping the promise he made to Miroku."

"I said such horrible thing's just now. InuYasha must hate me."

Kagome smiled and hugged her, then turned and went to find InuYasha. She turned back and glanced at Sango.

"You'll talk to him?"

Sango nodded.

oooooooo

InuYasha tested the water with his foot, and then stripped down to his fundoshi. The waterfall drained into a

small deep pond, it was exactly what he needed. He dived in neatly, slicing through the cool water, feeling it sooth

his muscles as he sank. He turned, and let his body go slack. A kick and his position changed, bringing him back

up towards the light. He surfaced and took a deep breath before diving down again to swim to the other side of the

waterfall.

Finally, solitude. But the price for solitude was thinking, and the only thought on his mind that morning was just

how right Sango was. He had failed Kagome, more than once. Why she stayed with him, he had no idea. But he was resolved to spend the rest

of his life if necessary making it up to her.

"InuYasha?"

"Kagome?" He rolled his eyes, annoyed that she had gone off alone to search for him, but he wasn't surprised. She was

always reckless.

"Yeah"

"I'm back here, hang on."

"No, I'll come to you."

"No, Kag…."

He was stopped by her splash on entering the pond. He smiled a little, wondering what she was going to appear in. He

wouldn't have been surprised if she had dived in completely naked. They had both been more, free, with one another.

Getting closer to making a lifetime commitment. She surfaced a few feet away from him.

"I thought about just stealing your clothes and making you hike back naked…but, then I realized it wouldn't bother you."

"You're funny" he gave her a half smile and splashed her a little.

Kagome splashed back and then swam up to him; InuYasha was relieved to see she was properly covered by a long tank top

that she often slept in. He turned his back to the waterfall and rested his chin on top of his hands on the cool rocks

at the edge of the pond, leaving his body to float free. Kagome copied his stance.

"I was worried.," she said turning her head so her cheek rested on her hands. "Sango…"

InuYasha shrugged. "She didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"InuYasha…"

"No, I did do those things. And if it wasn't for Sango and Miroku who's to say I wouldn't have lost you?" His voice was

quiet, soft, and full of remorse.

She reached out a hand and put in on his, giving it a gentle squeeze.  
"But you didn't. Besides, Sango said those things to hurt you, and that was wrong."

"That doesn't make them any less true Kagome."

"InuYasha, I've forgiven you, you need to forgive yourself."

InuYasha looked at her for a moment, and then nodded slightly.

"Did you and Sango argue? Did you beat her up like she did you?" he teased

"Why would I do that?" she looked at him, puzzled.

"To defend me of course."

"No, nothing so dramatic." She grinned, and then bit her lip "But…I told her about the nightmares."

"You what?"

"I'm sorry." She rested her cheek on his arm "I just thought, maybe if she knew that you were having a hard time too….."

He turned and put his arms around her, sighing deeply

"I shouldn't have even told you, they are my problem, not everyone else's"

"This isn't about your pride InuYasha."

"Who the hell's talking about pride? What does pride have to do with any of this damn mess?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told her. Your right, they're your business, not Sango's, or mine." She began to pull away

as tears welled up in her eyes. InuYasha pulled her back.

"I told you didn't I?"

Kagome nodded, still looking away

"It's just, I'm a demon. I'm supposed to be the strong one. The nightmares make me feel like I am weak."

"You're anything but weak InuYasha."

"I couldn't save Miroku."

Kagome sighed; she didn't know what to say.

"No one could have saved him." She paused for a minute "InuYasha, I'm sorry I told Sango about the nightmares"

"It's ok, maybe it will help."

Kagome still refused to look at him.

"Hey, stop that. I said its ok."

"I know…..it's not that."

"What then?"

She looked at him, her face breaking.

"I miss everything the way it use to be."

He kissed her forehead and held her tightly to his chest.

"I know. Me too."

oooooooo

They returned to camp to find Shippo in a panic.

"Right after you left! She got on Kirara. I asked her where she was going, and she said to see Miroku."

Kagome looked at InuYasha

"She probably just meant she was going to the crater. She did that a few times last week right?" InuYasha looked at

Kagome.

Kagome nodded.

"Still, maybe we should….."

She was cut off by Sango's arrival.

"Sango, we were just thinking about coming to check on you." Kagome said

InuYasha turned away and began to walk from camp.

"InuYasha" Sango called out "Wait."

Kagome watched them walk off together and smiled.

They went to the crater that afternoon and mourned as a group, remembering Miroku with tears and laughter.

ooooooo

Two nights later, they set up camp near a hot spring and Sango went to indulge while Kagome, Shippo, and InuYasha began the evening

meal.

"I'm hungry. How long till foods ready?" Shippo asked impatiently InuYasha playfully bopped him on the top of the head with a spoon.  
"Have a little patience kitsune"

Shippo stuck his tongue out in response "You have patience mutt"

"Quit talking like Koga or I'm gonna tie your ears together."

"If you two are just gonna argue, I'm gonna leave the two of you to cook and I'll go join Sango."

"So, who's keeping you here?" Shippo asked

"Fine smart mouth, I'm going then."

"I'm a better cook then she is anyway" InuYasha said

Kagome bent and picked up her bag, sauntering away from camp.

InuYasha couldn't help watching until she had disappeared into the tall grass.

"You want to go spy on her when she's naked in the bath," Shippo teased pushing his luck

"You got the nerve to repeat that kitsune?" InuYasha threatened his fist in Shippo's face. Shippo laughed and jumped

away from him…

"I said, you want to …"

Shippo was cut off by Kagome screams.

"Stay here Shippo"

InuYasha ran to the source of the screams. He found Kagome sitting in the hot spring in her clothes, cradling Sango in

her arms. Blood ran from Sango's neck, down Kagome's arms, into the hot spring below. The water red with blood.

Kagome looked up, her face and neck covered in Sango's blood and her own tears.

"No." she whispered, rocking Sango in her arms "No."

InuYasha fell to his knees next to Kagome. He covered Sango with her kimono, taking her from Kagome and laying

her in the grass. His own tears threatened while he reached down and closed her eyes.

"Hey, what's going…." Shippo broke through the grass and saw Kagome covered in blood, in shock, still sitting in the

spring.

"Shippo….Go find some dry clothes for Kagome ok?" Shippo seemed frozen. "Shippo?" Shippo nodded and turned back.

InuYasha picked Kagome up, carried her back to the camp. Kagome stripped out of her bloody clothes and burned

them. InuYasha held her, covering her with a blanket, Shippo and Kirara on her lap. When she fell asleep, Shippo and

Kirara tucked in her arms; he rose and began to build the funeral pyre.

He laid the demon slayers body on the makeshift pyre and covered her with Miroku's only possession, his spare set of

robes. When the fire was burning, he stood back and watched to be sure the fire caught properly and wouldn't burn

out of control.

The two tail had awoken and came to brush up against his leg, watching the fire mournfully. He knelt next to her and

petted her scruff gently, his face beginning to break. Once the first tear fell, he lost the will to stop the

others and he fell to his knees.

InuYasha lifted his face to the waning crescent moon and wailed into the night.


	3. Chapter Three Desperate Measures

Disclaimer: InuYasha is still owned by Rumiko Takahashi, not this humble bus jumper-on-er 

Notes: I want to thank everyone for the nice comments! How kind! I'd also like to say MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!

Yes, this writer is a greedy creature, in much need of affirmation of my ability. Particularly since my

ability was recently slammed.

I am hoping to update every other day. No promises though. I want to make sure I don't rush this story just to get updates out. But, I

hate it when fanfic writers purposely update slowly to make their readers beg to stroke their own ego's.

Storywise, I hope you enjoy this chapter, its a good sized one. Couple notes, I like to use the

Japanese terms where I can, as you will see in this chapter in how Kagome's family refers to InuYasha as InuYasha-kun.

Kun is a male term of endearment and respect In deciding how he would refer to them, I took a chance and did some guess work..I hope it works in the use of his calling Kagomes mom Higurashi no haha-ue. Mother Higurashi. But the haha-ue

personalizes it because they have really made InuYasha a part of their family. Sofu-ue means Grandfather. Its not used

in this chapter, but Higurashi no Sofu-ue would be his name for Gramps. In the telling of the story though I used

Gramps and Mrs Higurashi. If you find anything confusing please let me know!! CJ

Loss

Chapter Three

Desperate Measures

oooooooo

_InuYasha heard Kagome calling. He smiled and stripped down to his hakema and made his way back to the hot spring. She sat with her back to him and he knelt behind her. He bent to kiss her neck, and her head fell forward._

_"Kagome?"_

_He reached his hand out to touch her, feeling wetness around her neck. He pulled his hand back and it was covered in_

_blood. He turned her around and came face to face with dead eyes, her throat slashed. He picked her up and held her_

_to him, weeping hysterically. He opened his mouth to scream, but all he heard was the sound of his sobbing. His tears_

_and her blood mixed, running down his body and dripping into the water._

_His only thought was that he needed to be with her. To be with them all again. He reached for the dagger,_

_still clenched in her fist._

_Soon he would be with her again…._

_oooooooooooo_

InuYasha jolted upright, his head banging back severely against the rough bark of the Goshinboku.

"Son of a BITCH!" He growled, swiping at the wetness that lay on his eyelashes, rubbing the back of his head at the

same time. He sighed and leaned back against the Goshinboku, his body still trembling from the nightmare.

He couldn't even take a nap without the fucking nightmares!

It was always the same. The same nightmare he had every night since Sango died.

Why? She had been fine that day, had been fine since the day they had the argument…

-Flashback Sequence-

He had walked away when she returned to camp, relieved that she was safe, but trying to give her space.

Besides,she had hurt him.

"InuYasha" Sango called out "Wait."

It was the tone of her voice that made him stop and turn around. Otherwise, he might have ignored her and kept walking.

She actually sounded somewhat friendly, as if she wanted to make-up.

When she caught up, he was still wary. He turned and continued walking, unwilling to look her in the eye. They walked

in silence, a quiet shift back to being comfortable in each others company.

When they came across a fallen tree, InuYasha sat, leaving room for Sango.

Sango took a deep breath. "InuYasha, I owe you an apology for this morning."

He shrugged "It's not like what you said wasn't true."

Sango looked at him "I said those things because I knew they would hurt you. I was here InuYasha; I know the heavy guilt

you carry whenever Kagome gets hurt."

When he didn't say anything she went on.

"I know that you were torn between Kikyo and Kagome. It was kind of the same for Miroku. He was torn between his fear

of using the Kazanna, and his need to use it to protect. Being torn is a horrible thing."

"Miroku always chose to protect" InuYasha looked at her finally. "That's why he made me promise to stop you if the

Kazaana turned on him."

Sango nodded, shifting slightly on the tree.

"I know, it is exactly the kind of thing I would expect of him, protecting me even from the grave. But the thought

of living life without him…it hurts so much I can't bear it. It's why I wish my life were already over so I was with

him again. It's why I had no right to say what I did this morning. I of all people should understand why you couldn't

just forget about Kikyo."

InuYasha looked out over the clearing, a small patch of flowers sat on the edge. He decided Kagome might like a little

hand full of the flowers.

"I felt like you all just assumed that Kikyo meant everything to me, and Kagome meant little. But that wasn't it.

Kikyo was my past. Kagome is my future, I couldn't have a future until I resolved my past"  
"If I knew Miroku's spirit was walking the earth, I would move heaven and hell for him. I know we argued, and he

wandered, but…"

InuYasha laughed "You beat the shit out of him."

Sango clenched her fist, almost feeling the sting on her fingers again.

Sango smiled, remembering "He deserved it. But, the thing is, there was a side to him that no one else saw.

Until we met, he refused to let himself care for people, to let them care about him, because of his curse.

He was afraid, hiding behind his crooked ways, being a pervert, and his 'will you bear my child' line."

"You know, the truth is, I was only able to leave Kagome because I knew she would be safe with you and Miroku."

"Not always, she still got hurt, we let her fall into Akago's hands, and almost lost her."

InuYasha hated to think about that time, he had been foolish, and selfish. And he almost lost everything.

Another few minutes and… He shook himself, refusing to go over the horrible memory again. He was definitely

going to pick those flowers on the way back.

"It's not your fault, your just ……" He trailed off, grinning.

Sango smiled. "You were going to say 'weak humans' weren't you"

When he laughed Sango slugged him on the arm. Hard.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?" He growled, with a small grin.

"We better get back, Kagome and Shippo are there alone." she smiled and stood, beginning to walk

away.

"Wait a minute…what the hell did you hit me for?"

"Hurry up InuYasha" He jumped off the log, arguing the whole way back.

-End Flashback-

Two days later she had taken her dagger and slit her throat.

InuYasha didn't know what he was more pissed off about. That Sango had killed herself, or that she

had done it where Kagome would be the one to find her.

Kagome wasn't well. She blamed herself for Sango's suicide, She should have seen she was upset, if

she had been more understanding, or gone to the hot spring right away… No one could talk her out

of her guilt.

Kagome was probably the strongest woman he had ever known, maybe even stronger than Kikyo.

Still, InuYasha worried she wouldn't be able to get past this. He feared his nightmare would see

daylight. She would be the next one

found floating face down.

"She's stronger than that" Kaede had reassured him

A few weeks ago, he would have said the same thing about Sango.

Kagome had gone home the morning after, and still hadn't returned. That had been ten days ago. She

refused to go to school, refused to leave her room except to bathe or use the bathroom. And now

she wasn't leaving her room for anything but using the bathroom. She barely ate, never got dressed,

and either slept or spent hours just staring at the wall. At first, she had allowed his visits, seemed to

enjoy them even. Then, when he mentioned going through the well to visit Kaede, she kicked him out

of her room, and had refused to see him since. It had been five days, but he still went daily, and

would continue to until she gave in, or Higurashi no haha-ue gave him permission finally to break

down the door.

Shippo was no help. InuYasha wanted to try to take him through the well to see Kagome, hoping that

might get her to open the door, but he refused. He wanted nothing to do with that girl or that life

anymore. Particularly not "her".

InuYasha couldn't understand it, Shippo doted on Kagome. Worshiped her even. He had since the

day they met the little Kitsune.

Now he wouldn't even say her name.

"It's been a horrible ordeal InuYasha." Kaede counseled, "Just give them sometime to deal with

this." That was three days ago. His patience was wearing thin. It wasn't that he didn't understand her

pain, or what she was going through. He felt lost without her. He needed her. The nightmares were

bugging the shit out of him. He couldn't escape them. When he slept he was in a world where

she died and he was without her. When we woke, he was in a world where he was still without her.

He was in hell either way.

He didn't have time for this. He had to just find a way to forget them, ignore them. It was more

important to get Kagome well again, then they could come back and work on Shippo. InuYasha

thought of how Sesshomaru would mock him if he knew the effect the nightmares were having on

him. He was a demon after all; he should be able to take a few bad dreams.

InuYasha stood and jumped clear of the roots of the Goshinboku. Wishing once again that he knew

what to do about Kagome. He was losing her to something foreign and unknown. Higurashi no

haha-ue had called it depression, and he didn't know the first thing about fighting that. But, he knew

there was no way in hell he was giving up on her. Not after all she had done for him, not after all she

had come to mean to him.

He headed for the well and jumped in. He was staying as long as it took this time. Even if she

wouldn't see him, at least he would be closer to her on that side.

oooooooo

Mrs. Higurashi looked sadly at Kagome's locked bedroom door and bent down to pick up the

untouched food tray.

It had been two days since Kagome had eaten anything. She refused to see anyone, even InuYasha.

But it wasn't just him anymore, it was everyone. She talked to no one, refused to eat, she even

stopped bathing now. "Change of surroundings" that is what her doctor had suggested. "A break

from the familiar." But how was she supposed to get that when she wouldn't even let anyone past the

door? InuYasha still came everyday, though she had kicked him out five days before. The next day

he had come to visit but found her window had been locked against him. When she had stopped

bathing two days before, InuYasha had offered to break the door down, but Mrs. Higurashi hadn't

wanted to invade Kagome's space or privacy. But now, something needed to be done, now.

Sofu-ue still owned a small cabin on the lake that he used for two weeks in the summer as a retreat.

She couldn't possibly get away, Sota was still in school and Sofu-ue was too busy with the shrine.

Besides, none of them knew what Kagome was suffering through. There was only one person who

really understood that. Only one person she fully trusted with Kagome. She was sure he would…

"Hello?" InuYasha yelled from downstairs

Mrs. Higurashi hurried down the stairs to greet the barefoot boy who was the perfect answer to a

mother's desperate

prayer.

ooooooooo

"I had hoped…..she might be out today…or willing to see me…" InuYasha trailed off, looking sadly down at the table, his heart heavy at the news. "If I had only….."

"You shouldn't blame yourself InuYasha-kun."

Mrs. Higurashi reached the bottom of the stairs in time to see Grandpa reach his hand out and pat

InuYasha on the arm in support.

"If only I could have prevented Kagome from being the one to find her. Maybe…if she hadn't

seen….."

Mrs. Higurashi set the tray down near the sink, turning in time to catch two pairs of inquisitive eyes,

questioning weather or not Kagome had eaten anything. Mrs. Higurashi gently shook her head; she

refilled their teacups and filled her own. Then she joined them at the table. Patting his hand as she

settled.

"InuYasha-kun, thank you, for staying beside Kagome through this" Mrs. Higurashi smiled at him

sadly "You must be hurting too, you lost them as well. That makes your being here even more

precious to us"

He smiled wryly, his voice soft, nearly inaudible. "Yes. Shippo is taking it hard. He's just a kid." He

left himself out. He left out the nightmares that haunted his sleep, and his constant fears that Kagome

would never come back to herself, or to him.

"I don't have anywhere else I want to be." InuYasha played with the handle on his cup, swirling the

tea while it made little shimmering pools inside the cup.

"InuYasha-kun, we would like to ask you to help us with something, something the doctor thinks

might help Kagome."

InuYasha set the cup down and looked at them with strong and determined eyes, for the first time in

days.

"I will do whatever you ask."

"Perhaps you shouldn't answer until you know what we ask; it will mean you're staying on this side

of time." Gramps said

"Keh, as if I care?" he realized how gruff he sounded and softened his voice, shrugging "I was hoping to stay anyway."

"InuYasha-kun…what we would like to ask is…"Mrs. Higurashi began, fidgeting in her chair slightly.

"I'll do it."

"You don't even know what we ask." she said, smiling.

"I will do anything if it will help Kagome get better."

They smiled at him across the table and gripped his hand, feeling his devotion to Kagome.

"Thank you InuYasha-kun" Mrs. Higurashi said

"She's the only one who... She's all I have."

"She's not the only one InuYasha-kun" Mrs. Higurashi said, smiling

InuYasha smiled sadly, thinking…

_"As much as that means to me, she's the one I need"_

_oooooooo_

Kagome softly closed the door, locked it, and took a deep breath. Mission complete and no one the

wiser. She opened her closet door and quickly stashed her spoils in the hamper that she kept her

old dolls in. She covered the backpack carefully with a mesh bag of stuffed animals, and then shut

the closet door. With a sigh of relief, she moved to her bed and sat down. She reached behind the

teddy bear and blanket that sat in her old toy box, pulling out the spoils from a four am mission four

days ago.

She held it up to the faint bit of light that shone through the shade on her window, the one that she

always kept locked now. It wouldn't do to have InuYasha and his powerful, over-sensitive, nose

bust in on her whenever he felt like it. Not when she had finally found a way to get rid of the

horrible pain that had consumed her when Sango had first killed herself.

She smiled a little. It was still three quarters of the way full.

Kagome reached for the glass that sat on her bedside table, she changed her mind halfway and let the

glass drop on the floor. She opened the bottle, took a deep breath and raised the bottle to her lips,

relishing the burn in her throat as she took a long drink. Kagome smiled, feeling warmth from her

throat to her stomach and back, slowly spreading out to her extremities. When she lowered the bottle

it was almost empty.

"Thanks again Sota" She said, smiling a little, thinking of the afternoon that Sota had snuck her the

first bottle.

"It always makes Gramps feel better when he thinks about Papa and gets sad" Sota had said

Kagome had just smiled, thanked him, and hid the bottle, not planning to ever drink it. When

InuYasha came she would have him sneak it back into the cellar that Gramps kept well stocked with Sake.

But the visit with InuYasha hadn't gone well. He had actually wanted her to go back there...back

through the well to that horrible place of death and blood. She threw him out and refused to see

anyone else either. She had tried at first, really tried to get past it. But it was like something had

broken inside of her when she cleared the brush and found Sango floating face down in the water.

She couldn't escape it. Every time she closed her eyes, she relived it again. Sango face down in the

water, jumping in, and then the blood. There was so much blood. Blood on Sango, Blood on her,

on her uniform, on InuYasha.

All she saw was blood on that side of the well. Blood on her, blood on the others, and always,

always blood on InuYasha. There was always blood on InuYasha. So much fucking blood. She

didn't ever want to see blood again. She couldn't escape the thought that if she

returned to that side of the well, InuYasha would be the next one she held that was soaked in the

blood.

The pain and fear was such that she thought she understood why Sango had killed herself, and she

had begun to wonder how one might kill herself without the blood.

Then she though of the bottle of Sake. Maybe it would help her forget, even if it was just for a little

while, it would be a space of time without pain.

That had been five days ago. She didn't drink constantly, only when the others were asleep and she

was sure she wouldn't get caught. She had wanted to drink most of the day today, only the fear of

InuYasha carrying out his threat to break down the door and getting caught stopped her. She was

agitated, her senses had been tingling all day, she knew they were up to something. But hadn't been

able to find out what.

Yesterday InuYasha had told her if she didn't let him in when he came today he was going to rip

the door off the hinges. But when he did come, he just knocked softly, then calmly left when she ignored it.

Totally un-InuYasha-like.

Her mother had stopped begging her to open the door, harping on her about how unhealthy staying

shut in her room was for a young girl.

Something was definitely up.

Kagome took the last swallow, draining the bottle. She moaned softly, pulling herself off the bed.

She opened the closet door, filled the empty bottle with water from an old water bottle, and replaced

the top, then hid it in the backpack. She pulled out a new bottle and closed the door, smiling to herself.

"As InuYasha would say, 'Who needs fucking school?'" She grinned "Your pretty smart Higurashi.

They'll never even know."

She sat down and opened the new bottle. Taking a long, deep drink, ignoring the glass

that had fallen on the floor.

She grinned smugly to herself and slid back against the wall, hugging the bottle to her chest.

She was numb. It was the best way to be.

ooooooooo

InuYasha pushed on the hinge for Kagome's door, trying to keep the damage minimal. This was it.

They were taking a big risk, but he knew it would work. It had to. It was all they had. The door

open to a scene that was even worse than InuYasha had expected. The room was a shambles.

Kagome's things were carelessly tossed about; her desk chair lay on its side. The desk itself had

been swept clean, during a moment of rage, judging by the broken knickknacks and pictures lying on

the floor a few feet away. The girl herself lay curled up in a tight ball at the foot end of her bed,

covered completely by blankets.

InuYasha walked across the room, he kicked glass and bent to pick it up righting the chair as he

passed, setting the glass on the table. He pulled the shades on the windows up then opened the

window to let the fresh morning air and sunlight in.

"Kagome."

He turned, hoping she would be willing to come without a big fight. Not that it mattered. Kaede had

prepared him for a fight.

She didn't move. InuYasha walked to the end of the bed and pulled her blankets off.

"Kagome." He nudged her.

"G'way. I'm sleeping" she muttered, feeling around for the blankets

"Not anymore your not. Now get up." He said, gruffly, deciding it was going to take bullying to get

action. Well, she would thank him one day.

Kagome peeked open an eye and looked at him.

"Get out."

"No" He bent down and sat her up. Holding her upright when she tried to lie back down. Kagome

looked around, her eyes opened wide at the missing door.

"What is this? Where is my door?!"

"You have twenty minutes to bathe and get dressed. Then we are leaving if I have to take you out of

here naked."

"Sit"

InuYasha didn't move.

"Nice try." He reached inside his hoari and pulled out the amulet "Kaede constructed it to block the

beads. Now are you going to get up?"

"No." Kagome glared at him. Trying to lie back down. "Now get out and leave me the fuck alone."

"Fine." He picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder.

"InuYasha you bastard. You put me down!" She kicked at him and hit him with her fists. InuYasha

smiled, so she had some fight left in her after all. It had to be a good sign.

He carried her across the hall, and dumped her, pajamas and all, in the bath that her mother had

prepared for her before leaving the house with Gramps and Sota.

"Just what the hell do you think your doing InuYasha? Your not suppose to bathe in your pajama's

Baka!"

"Do I have to rip your clothes off and bathe you too?" He began to kneel down towards the tub.

Kagome's eyes went wide.

"No! I can do it myself!"

InuYasha grinned. Much better.

"There are clean clothes right there." He pointed to the clothes her mother had left for her "She's

packed clothes for you but you can have a few minutes to pack some stuff too. But not much,

because the taxi will be here soon. I will be right outside the door, so don't even think about trying

anything."

"So what is this? You and haha-ue come up with this plan to kidnap me?" She glared at the wall.

He sighed, went to the side of the tub and hunched down. He cupped her chin and gently turned her

face to make her look

at him.

"We want you to come back Kagome. We miss you." He brushed her cheek with the backs of his

fingers "I miss you"

InuYasha stood then and turned his back to her. "Now hurry up with your bath, I hate it when you

fucking keep me waiting all the time."

Kagome was confused for a second, then glared at his back as he walked away. She picked up the bath brush and threw

it at him, just missing as he shut the door.

On the other side of the door InuYasha heard the thumps of the bath brush making contact on the

door and floor.

He smiled.


	4. Chapter Four Action and Reaction

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi is the owner of InuYasha, not me 

Notes: Yeah, this chapter is a bit shorter, sorry. I ran into a little roadblock, but I think I got the kinks out of the way now. Not a lot to say, this chapter is pretty much what it is. I have decided not to run the story out too long, of course I can't promise when inspiration will hit, and I new idea or twist will come to me, but look for some moves to resolution, at least for one Character this week. CJ

And, as always on reviews,...MORE MORE MORE!

ooooooo

Loss

Chapter Four

Action and Reaction

oooooo

Kagome tiptoed to the curtain that acted as a door to separate her bedroom from InuYasha's.

She stepped on squeaky board and held her breath, waiting to see if he would call out to her.

When he didn't, she reached a finger out to pull the curtain back enough to peek in on him, his

snoring assured her that he was asleep. Quietly, she picked up her shoes and backpack, then

tiptoed for the door on the other side of the room.

Kagome ran down the small hill that led to the dock, took a left, and then walked until the cabin

was far out of view. She came to a small clearing that was littered with fallen trees. She

remembered this place well from when she was little and her family vacationed here. She and

ChiChi-ue would take hikes, after; they stopped here and worked on their fort. Over the years,

their fort grew into a mini castle. She crawled inside the entrance, making her way to the

middle, a large open space they had called the courtyard.

Kagome sighed, freedom at last.

It had been two days since InuYasha, with her mothers blessing, had dragged her out in the

middle of nowhere, unable to lock a door behind her. Hell, she didn't even have a door, she had

a curtain.

Kagome reached for her backpack and pulled out a full bottle of Sake.

"Think you're so smart" she grinned, thinking of how InuYasha had left her alone to pack a few

things. It was just enough time for her to fill her duffle bag with the bottles of Sake she had

taken from the cellar the night before and pack some stuff around them to hide them. She had

enough for at least two weeks. If they kept her prisoner her longer than that, she would figure

something out.

Not that she needed the sake or anything.

Kagome opened the bottle and put it to her lips; taking a large swallow. The burn felt good,

reminding her that the numbness wouldn't be far behind.

Haha-ue had said in the note that they did this because the change of scenery would be good for

her. It was almost funny.

The problem wasn't what she saw when her eyes were open.

The problem was what she saw when they were closed.

The problem was the blood.

And the only thing that got rid of the blood was the sake.

Kagome took another big swallow and sighed, remembering a time when she would have been

thrilled to be here alone with InuYasha. Before everything went to hell, she had often dreamed

of coming here with him on their honeymoon. Now he was nothing but a pain in the ass. He was

worse than a parent. Scrutinizing her every move. She couldn't belch without him wanting to

know why she had done it, and why she had done it the way she had. For someone who had

never wanted to talk before, he sure wanted to

do it a lot now. He buzzed around her like a damn bee, doted on her every move. He did

everything but cut her meat and tuck a bib around her neck.

She had to find someway to get that amulet off his neck.

Before she ran out of sake.

Kagome drained the last swallow from the bottle, the numbness began to overtake her and she

lay on her back and looked up at the stars. She would go back in a couple minutes, but for now,

she just wanted to enjoy the absence of pain.

oooooooooo

_InuYasha picked Kagome up and held her to him as he wept. He gently closed her eyes, his_

_ tears and her blood mixed, running down his body and dripping into the water. Her body was_

_ cold, so cold. He looked over onto the bank for something to wrap her in, instead he found_

_ Shippo, sitting upright, bleeding from the neck.  
_

_"Why didn't you stop us InuYasha?" Shippo asked him accusingly_

_  
"Oh God. No! Not again! Not another!" His mind screamed as he looked up at the full moon,_

_ clutching Kagome to him. His only thought was that he needed to be with her. To be with_

_ them all again. He reached for the dagger…_

--

InuYasha sat straight up

He looked around himself, disorientated and confused about where he was. He fell back against

the pillow, memory flooding his mind once again.

"SHIT! Another fucking nightmare!"

InuYasha took a deep breath, then thought of Kagome, asleep on the other side of the curtain.

She didn't make a sound. These days, he could be reasonably certain he hadn't woken her. She

would have let him know if he had bothered her.

They had been there for two days and so far, there had been no change. Kagome spent her days

lying on her bed staring out her window. InuYasha had tried talking her into going swimming, or

for walks, but she just ignored him and continued to stare, or responded with hostility. It had

only been two days, but it was already feeling hopeless.

InuYasha swung his legs over the side of the bed, then standing up. He crossed the room

in a couple of steps. He knew it irritated her, but he checked on her several times in

the night When she was sleeping, she didn't have the pain and anger in her eyes, she still looked

the way she had before Miroku and Sango died. He remembered how she looked when she was

still innocent to all this. Before the ugly side of humanity and death.

InuYasha pulled the curtain back to find Kagome's bed empty.

ooooooo

Kagome felt herself rising slowly out of darkness, a familiar voice called her name repeatedly,

at first frightened and panicked, then incredibly relieved. Still, she had neither the will nor the

strength to open her eyes.

"Oh God. Oh God .Kagome"

She felt herself lifted and held against a hard chest; kisses pressed to her cheek and brow as the

voice continued.

"I… saw you, and you didn't answer… When I couldn't wake you I… shit, I thought you were…"

A cool hand stroked her cheek while the voice spoke to her softly, making her feel safe.

"That smell…it's…oh shit, Kagome…"

Kagome felt herself being hoisted into someone's arms. Numbness surrounded her, and for a

moment, she was afraid she wouldn't find her way out of it. The rapid bouncing worked on her,

making her feel nauseous.

"I'm…gonna….puke" she managed to gasp out

Kagome felt herself bent over an arm, feeling like she was vomiting out everything inside of her

from her toes up. She was picked up again, held closely to the same strong chest. How she

longed to stroke it, to feel the muscles under her fingertips! But one arm was pinned at her side;

her free arm was like a lead weight flopping uselessly at her side.

She was laid on a soft bed and felt her shoes being pulled off, then her jacket. Warm blankets

were pulled up around her neck. A soft kiss was placed on her brow, followed by a small drop

of wetness. The lights were turned out, and Kagome sank back into darkness.

ooooooo

Kaede reached under the leaves, pulling up a perfectly shaped orange carrot. She brushed the

dirt off and added it to the small basket she and Shippo were filling with vegetables. She

sighed, looking at the small kitsune and thinking for a moment, then dug her hands down into the

cool dirt again.

"InuYasha has been gone a long time" Kaede commented, pulling up another carrot.

"Yeah" he said, refusing to be drawn into conversation.

"Unfortunately, that must mean that Lady Kagome hasn't recovered."

Shippo flinched a little, but said nothing. Kirara came up to them, brushing up against them. He

bumped Shippo'shoulder, pushing him slightly.

"Stop that Kirara!" He pushed her away

Kirara continued to rub up against him, purring loudly. Shippo shoved her away again, more

roughly this time.

"Kirara! I said knock it off!"

Kirara began to whimper and tried to wedge her head into Shippo's lap.

"Ugh! Leave me alone!" Shippo pushed her off him and stood, turning to stomp away. He turned

back to Kirara

"Don't you follow me either, or I'll hit you!"

He turned and walked off alone.

Kirara looked at Shippo's retreating back sadly for a moment, then turned around and looked at

Kaede. She brushed up against the elderly miko, and Kaede picked her up, brushing her fingers

through Kirara's soft, thick fur.

"So much pain Kirara." She shook her head "So much pain."

ooooooo

Kagome moaned, feeling the sunlight beat on her eyes before she opened them. She picked up

the other pillow and covered her face with it, trying to block out the light. It hit her after a

minute that she was in bed with her clothes still on, worse than that, she didn't remember

walking back to the cabin the night before. Her head ached and her mouth

tasted horrible, but that was nothing compared to the sandpaper rubbed raw burning in her

throat.

"Kagome?" InuYasha called softly from the other side of the curtain "I'm coming in." He

waited a second and then peeked

around the curtain. When she didn't throw anything, he pulled it all the way open and walked in.

"Here, I thought you might need this." He handed her a glass of water and a bottle of pain

reliever.

"What makes you think that?" Kagome croaked out, worry creasing her brows. What the hell

had happened last night? Did InuYasha know something he shouldn't?

"I have a hot bubble bath waiting for you." Inuyasha offered his hand, surprised; Kagome took

it, allowing him to lead her to the bath, a room with a huge old-fashioned tub. He left right

away, closing the cabins only door behind him. Now she knew he was up to something

InuYasha was never this nice. She pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the high tub, not about

to get in and leave herself vulnerable to whatever he was up to.

Instead, Kagome struggled to remember the night before. She didn't like it, this had never

happened before. Of course, she had never drank that much Sake at once before. When she

tried to remember, there was nothing. The last thing she remembered was laying back to look at

the stars, then, she was waking up in her bed.

She heard the outside screen door slam. She went to peak and saw InuYasha sitting, feet in the

water, with a fishing pole at the end of the dock.

Maybe she was wrong, maybe he **was **just trying to be nice.

Kagome sighed. She returned and looked at the steaming, bubble filled water. It looked so

warm and inviting. She gave herself up to the urge, undressed and tied her hair up into a sloppy

bun, then stepped up into the deep tub, submerging herself up to her neck in the hot water.

"Oh, that feels so good." she lay back and closed her eyes, totally relaxed.

The door swung open, InuYasha stood in the doorway, glaring at her.

"Glad to hear it, now , were going to talk."


	5. Chapter Five Discoveries and Revelations

Disclaimer: Yup, Rumiko Takahashi still owns InuYasha, I am still just a lowly street person in the literary world who has had the nerve to jump on her bus! 

Notes: First a little side note for those fans of "Warmth in the palace of Ice"  
I have been just thrilled with the reaction to this story!! So, I have started a sequel. The working title so far is Summer Lillies, it is mostly Rin's story, but does delve a bit into Sesshy's lingering feelings for Kagome.

Wish I could say when to look for it, but, I really dont know. I am really trying to be faithful with every other day updates for this one, so...and speaking of this one...

As you will see, there is a big shift in this chapter off Kagome and onto the other characters pain, not that Kagome is completely off the hook yet. Look for a BIG meltdown for Kagome in Chapter 6...and, maybe a nice little break from the gloom and doom with a little citrus-ish romance I dont plan on going lemon, but, hell, who knows. I'll be making some Lime aid for sure! Im hoping to return the story to the warring states era in chapter 7. InuYasha has been away from home far too long! ANd someone has got to get Shippo in hand before he gets himself hurt! I hope you enjoy how I have started that. ---CJ

And, as usual on the reviews...MORE MORE MORE!!!!

We writers are a greedy sort arent we?!

Loss 

Chapter Five

Discoveries and Revelations

Shippo flopped down in the soft grass and plopped one foot across hisknee, reminding him of

how he use to ride in the basket on Kagome's bicycle. Kagome, man, he really missed her a lot.

A surge of anger shot through him."No!" he screamed, slamming his foot off his knee and onto

the ground.

"I don't miss her! I don't even like her." He thought, his face contorted in rage

"I don't like InuYasha either. I don't even like Kirara anymore. They're all stupid."

Stupid weaklings who could die and go away and leave him alone again.

Shippo had begun to pull away from Kagome when Miroku died. It wasn't on purpose, not at

first Kagome had InuYasha, and Sango had no one. She needed someone. It was Sango

who made him realize how fragile Kagome was.

Sango and InuYasha had just had that nasty fight…

_Flashback_

"Sango?" Shippo moved closer to where Sango had flopped on the ground after Kagome went

to find InuYasha. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, then turned it and looked at him, leaving it resting on

her knees.

"You understand, don't you Shippo? How much it hurts." She raised her

head and motioned for him to sit in her lap.

He nodded sadly and Sango began to play with his hair.

"When Chichi-ue and Haha-ue were killed by the Thunder brothers, I was so sad. I didn't know

if I would ever be happy again."

"Did you ever wish that you had died with them?" Her voice sounded strange, far away.

"No, I wanted them to be here with me, but mostly I wanted to avenge them and get my fathers

pelt back. That's when I met Kagome and InuYasha. They helped me, and Kagome saved me."

"Hey Shippo?" Shippo turned around and looked at her "If InuYasha died,Kagome would want

to die to be with him wouldn't she?"

"Sango…!" Shippo jumped off Sango's lap

"Do you think if Kagome died InuYasha would want to die to be with her?"

"Sango…you shouldn't …don't talk like that!" Shippo "You will bring bad

luck!" Shippo was in tears.

"Oh, Shippo, I'm sorry." Sango picked him up and hugged him. "Please

forgive me."

He nodded.

"Please, don't tell the others…"

_End Flashback_

But then, Sango and InuYasha made up, the days were getting better. Things were almost back

to the old routine, but Sango had planted a seed. He began to stay away from Kagome more and

more, almost unconsciously.

Then Sango died. But it was Kagome he saw covered in blood. Her eyes had scared him,

they were flat and empty. When he woke the next morning, the seed had grown into full-fledged

fear induced hatred. It was better to hate her, to hate them all, then to lose someone else he

loved.

Shippo looked up at the puffy white clouds, hoping to distract himself by

finding pictures in them.

But the only thing he saw was Kagome's face.

ooooooo

"Get Out!!"

Kagome screeched, throwing a bottle of shampoo at InuYasha. He ducked and the plastic bottle

bounced off the doorframe, he caught it against his chest. InuYasha calmly turned and closed

the door, then turned back around, tossing the bottle back at her. It hit the water directly in front

of her, causing a splash of water to wet her face. Kagome sputtered for a second, wiping the

soap off her face before turning to face him again.

"Get the hell out of here!" She screeched again

"We need to talk Kagome." He sat on the floor, completely blocking his view into the tub,

hoping it would reassure her that his intentions were pure.

"Can't we talk when I'm done?" She glared at him.

"So you can run off to get drunk again?"

She was silent for a second. Then she laughed.

"That's funny. Now get out, InuYasha."

"Kagome, I saw you."

"This is ridiculous!" Kagome stood up in the tub, catching InuYasha totally off guard.

"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled at her, jumping to his feet and turning around.

Kagome stepped down from the tub and began to dress.

"You're the one who wanted to see."

"I didn't want to see anything! I'm trying to HELP you Kagome!"

"I don't need your help." She was dressed and went for the door, InuYasha blocked her way.

"Yes you do." InuYasha turned and lifted his hand to her cheek.

"Let me out InuYasha."

"Kagome please let me help you."

"InuYasha…" Kagome put her arms around his waist, resting her cheek on his chest, using the

motion to scrape soap from the sink under her fingernails, spreading it on the tips of her fingers.

"Kagome. Why can't you see that you're in trouble…? He pulled away from her.

Kagome lifted her hands, cupping his face. "InuYasha….I…" She quickly pushed her fingers

into his eyes, temporarily blinding him with soap.

"You bitch!" InuYasha yelled as Kagome shoved him out of the way, and ran out of the bath,

then out of the cabin. "Damn it! Kagome!"

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" InuYasha screamed as he found his way to the sink to rinse his eyes

out. This was far from over. She may have gotten away, but he knew exactly where to find her.

oooooooo

Kagome flopped onto her back in the courtyard of her fort, taking deep breath. She grinned.

InuYasha thought he was so smart.

"If only I'd had a camera when I stood up in the tub. I don't think I have ever seen his face turn

that red before. I'm sure that was the last thing he was expecting."

She laughed for a minute, then rolled over to snatch her duffle bag from its hiding place. She

pulled it out and unzipped it, lifting out a bottle.

"What the…." They were all empty.

"Looking for something?" InuYasha said, sitting behind her on one of the high logs that framed

in the courtyard. "You won't find it. I dumped them all out." He jumped down to stand in front

of her.

"Who do you think you are?" She ducked down and crawled out of the fort. InuYasha jumped

again and was waiting for her when she came out.

"I'm not Kikyo, so why the hell do you even care? Why don't you go back to your own time

and mind your own business?" She tried to dodge him, but was having no luck.

"You are my business." He stood in front of her trying to block her path.

"No, I'm not."

"I made a promise to always protect you. I keep my promises"

"I don't want your protection." She said, increasing her efforts to get past "Besides, I'm fine. So

just leave me alone."

"To do what? Get more sake? Get drunk again? You need protection, why can't you see that?"

"I'm not in any danger!" She tried again to move past him.

"Kagome, Stop damn it!" He said through clenched teeth, grabbing her arms to hold her still.

"Who the fuck do you think I am protecting you from?"

"I'm fine InuYasha. " He had hit a nerve. Kagome's voice was soft, sounding like it had before

all of this started. InuYasha looked at her, for a moment their eyes locked and he could see the

old Kagome calling out to him from behind the pain. He closed his eyes as the memory of the

night before washed over him.

"You are not fine... Kagome. I,…I thought you were dead."

"I don't…" Kagome was confused. InuYasha opened his eyes and looked at her, refusing to

release her eyes from his.

"You don't remember do you?" Kagome didn't have to answer, it was obvious she that she

didn't "Late last night, I woke and you weren't in your bed, so I looked for you. I tracked your

scent, and I found you here. I called for you, but you didn't answer, even though I knew you

were here…your scent… it's so familiar to me…" InuYasha reached a hand out to caress her

cheek with the back of his fingers. Then turned away from her.

"I saw you laying down there, and even when I shook you, you still didn't wake up. I saw the

empty sake bottle and I thought that you had drank yourself to death."

"InuYasha…" Kagome began to feel something in the pit of her stomach sadness, and guilt, for

what she had put him through.

"When I realized you had just passed out I was...I…" no, he couldn't go there "I carried you

back to the cabin, puking your guts out most of the time. Then I came back here, I found all

you had, and I dumped it all out. I won't let you kill yourself like Sango, Kagome. I won't."

Something in his words touched her, woke her, reminded her who she was.

Kagome stepped behind him and wrapped her arms around him. InuYasha'eyes went wide; He

could feel her tears soaking through his Hoari. He turned and looked into her eyes.

"I don't want to die InuYasha."

InuYasha pulled her tightly against him, breathing in her sweet scent, enjoying the

feel of her in his arms once again.

ooooooo

Kirara stuck her nose out over the head of the small kitsune. She pulled her nose back and

turned, walking back several feet to continue to keep watch over the small kitsune boy. It was

dangerous out here, Shippo knew better than to be out here alone. But, in times like these, she

supposed, common sense went out the window.

Look at what Sango-chan had done.

Kirara lay down and rested her head on her front paws. Poor Sango-chan, she had been so sad

in the days after Miroku-sama died. Kirara felt a small stab of anger at the unfairness of it all.

They had both deserved some happiness in their lives, and then, just as they had found it, their

happiness was taken away. But, at least they had been happy, for a little while…

_Flashback_

Miroku and Sango lay on their backs on a blanket at the top of a hill, alone except for Kirara

who was sleeping a few feet away. It was the night of the new moon, the stars shined brightly

without the competition of the moons brightness.

InuYasha had still been suffering from unhealed injuries, so to assure Kagome-chan that he

would be safe during his affliction, he had agreed after much pleading, and a couple of

sits, to spend new moon in her era.

"Houshi-sama, are you sure you didn't arrange that InuYasha and

Kagome spend new moon in her time as some sort of plot?" Sango looked at Miroku, her eyes

sparkled, and she wouldn't have minded at all if he had.

"Sango, you wound me." Miroku rolled up on his elbow, picked up her hand and kissed it.

"You must know that my suggestion was of the purest nature." Miroku leaned closer

to her, his hand hovering directly over her breast.

"If you would like to keep that hand, houshi-sama, I suggest you not move it further."

Sango tried not to laugh at the crestfallen look on Miroku's face.

Miroku flopped onto his back again. "Why must you reject me," he turned his head and

looked at her "And then mock me?"

Then, she did laugh. "See?" Miroku tried look wounded, but his eyes sparkled with amusement,

giving him away.

When she quieted, Sango rolled over onto her side, looking at him seriously.

"houshi-sama, do you really feel I am rejecting you?"

"Of course not. Why do you ask such questions?" Miroku rolled to his side to face her, playing

with her hair, left to lay free between them.

"I wanted to assure myself that you don't, because, it is a sad way to feel." Sango looked

away.  
"You're thinking of Kohaku." She nodded "Sango, Kohaku isn't rejecting you. He is only doing

what he feels he must."

"He feels he must die." Sango looked at him, a tear escaping. Miroku wiped

it away.

"Sango that is not going to happen. We have all agreed, InuYasha, Kagome, we will not allow

the Shikon no Tama to be completed. We will destroy Naraku another way."

"I know, but…" Miroku put his finger on her lips. 

"After we destroy Naraku, you and I are going to have a real home, a place where we can

raise our children. Kohaku will live with us, and maybe I will even build a small building

for InuYasha to blow up when he and Kagome visit." He smiled

Sango laughed, "Knowing InuYasha, you better make more than one."

"Everything is going to be okay, watch and see."

Miroku leaned in and kissed her lightly.

_End Flashback_

But everything wasn't okay.

InuYasha and Kagome still hadn't returned, and it had been weeks. Kirara heard Shippo

stomp through the grass next to her on his way back to the village. Kirara rose and followed

"Shippo keeps getting worse." she thought sadly, silently watching him from a distance.

"Everyday he is more angry, more resistant to help, more careless to his own

safety."

Today was just another example, Shippo had just been lucky a bigger demon hadn't found him.

ooooooo

Kagome lay in the darkness, wishing for the millionth time in the past hour, for sleep to come.

Sure, it was easy for InuYasha to talk.

"Just quit," he said, "You don't really need it, do you?"

No, she wasn't an alcoholic. At least, she didn't think she was. Not yet anyway. She probably

would have been, if he hadn't found out and stopped her.

"What a horrible day that was" she rolled over and looked at the curtain that separated their

rooms. She had been horrified when he had confronted her in the bath, she knew something was

strange from the moment she woke, but she couldn't understand why would go to such

drastic lengths. She still didn't really get it. It was so unlike him to be so forward, even when he

was worried.

Kagome rolled over to her other side, sighing deeply. She wasn't craving the Sake, that wasn't

why she couldn't sleep. The problem was that she had forgotten how to get to sleep without it.

She had forgotten how to do a lot things without it.

ooooooo

_InuYasha heard Kagome calling. He smiled and stripped down to his hakema and made his way_

_ back to the hot spring. She sat with her back to him and he knelt behind her. He bent_

_  
to kiss her neck, and her head fell forward. _

_"Kagome?"_

**"InuYasha? Did you call me?" Kagome pushed the blankets off and slid out of bed. She**

**crossed to the curtain, reaching out to open it.**

_He reached his hand out to touch her, feeling wetness around her neck. He_

_pulled his hand back and it was covered in blood. He turned her around_

_and came face to face with dead eyes, her throat slashed. He picked her_

_up and held her to him, weeping hysterically._

_"Oh God, no…not you. Kagome, You can't be dead…I need_

_you….Kagome…."_

**"InuYasha? You okay?"**

**InuYasha lay in his bed, curled up tightly, holding a pillow tightly in his**

**arms. His face was wet with tears…**

**Kagome heard him say her name as he mumbled something into the pillow.**

**She began to approach the bed.**

_His tears and her blood mixed, running down his body and dripping into the_

_water. InuYasha looked sadly down into her face, the face he held so dear._

_Her eyes opened and she looked at him accusingly._

_"InuYasha, why didn't you stop me?"_

_He fumbled for words "I didn't know…that…you…"_

_Kagome raised the dagger so it rested just under his throat._

_"InuYasha."_

_"Kagome…?" He looked at her…confused…_

_"Sit"_

InuYasha woke from the nightmare, his eyes wild. After a minute, he realized he wasn't sitting

alone. He pulled Kagome into his arms, holding her tightly against him.

Suddenly, Kagome understood his drastic steps to stop her drinking. It wasn't worry.

It was fear.


	6. Chapter Six Ghosts

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, or any of the characters in this story. If I did Kagome and InuYasha would have been sharing a sleeping bag a long time ago! 

Notes: I had a hell of a time with this chapter, distractions, finding time, and a little case of writers block to name a few problems, but I got it done, such as it is. Unlike I originally planned, I didn't go Lime-aid with InuYasha and Kagome. I decided at this point it would be rather unhealthy, citrus-ing so soon after a tragedy of this magnatude would be just like Kagome's sake, another way to numb the problem. So, I'll save that for later.

In the next chapter I might be moving them back to the Warring States Era, Or I might do a chapter of Kagome at Home first not sure. I feel like there are some loose ends there. Now that I am in the "meatier" chapters though, I might not be able to update as often. It was easy to mess everyone up and take them apart, putting them back togther is harder.  
The aftermath of death is one of the most horrifying aspects of life and it is something EVERYONE on earth has in common.  
no one can escape this, we will all experience the loss of a loved one. So, I want to be sure to do this right.

Loss

ooo

Chapter Six

ooo

Ghosts

_"InuYasha…."_

_Kagome called to him._

_He followed the sound of her voice and found her sitting on the roots of the ancient Goshinboku, her face radiant, smiling. InuYasha slowed to a walk so he could look at her as he drew closer. He was filled with such awe, such amazement, that this woman could possibly love him. He didn't deserve her and he knew it._

_"Hurry InuYasha." She giggled, waving him closer._

_  
He reached her and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands._

_"Kagome…" He was so happy; all that came mind was her name, "Kagome…"_

_"InuYasha, stand up and turned around, I have a surprise for you!" She whispered into his ear._

_"A surprise?" He questioned, smiling as he rose to his feet._

_"Yes, a surprise, just for you!" She giggled again and kissed his cheek._

_He stood and turned around, Sango stood behind him, covered in blood, dagger at the ready._

_"Die hanyou bastard!"_

_His eyes darted back to Kagome to see her laying dead and covered in blood, her neck_

_ slashed._

_"No! Kagome!"_

_"Sango! Please…I…"_

_Sango plunged the dagger downward while Kagomes laughter echoed, surrounding him._

InuYasha's eyes opened wide. His breathing came hard and his arms were shaking. He waited for his breathing to return to normal, trying to calm his heart. Another fucking nightmare. He hadn't had a peaceful nights sleep since before Miroku died. He had been trying to push them from his mind so he could concentrate on Kagome. He figured in time they would go away on their own, instead they were just getting worse.

So bad that he slept with Tessiaga because he was afraid he would transform in his sleep.

InuYasha looked out over the lake at the rising sun, stretching its pink and orange hues out over the clouds. He liked the calm and peacefulness of early morning. It had a peaceful, calming effect on him. He had woken hours ago and been unable to get back to sleep. Not wanting to disturb Kagome with his tossing and turning, he came out here. Then he had dozed off. Fortunately, he hadn't dropped the fishing pole. Higurashi no Sofu-ue would have killed him if he had lost it. He reached down into the cold lake, bringing up a handful of water to splash on his face. Kagome was better, lots better, but now they were arguing. It was his own damn fault…

--_Flashback_--

InuYasha woke from the nightmare, his eyes wild. After a minute, he realized he wasn't sitting alone. He pulled Kagome into his arms, holding her tightly against him. Kagome felt tears wetting her shoulder through her nightshirt. She hugged him tightly, softly stroking his hair with her fingers.

"InuYasha? Are you okay?" she whispered softly, bringing her other hand up to caress his neck and shoulder.

"I'm okay."

"Bad dream?"

He nodded, pushing her away.

His pride was beginning to take over. He slid away from her to sit against the headboard of the bed.

"InuYasha…you should have told me you were still having the nightmares.

Do you…"

"Keh," He looked her accusingly, then turned away from her.

Kagome lowered her head as guilt overwhelmed her.

That's right, how could he have told her anything? She was busy drowning  
herself in a sake bottle. He had needed her, and instead of being there for him like she promised she would be, she had let him down.

InuYasha shrugged, feeling his own dose of guilt, he knew she was only trying to help, but he was proud, too proud to admit that he was scared of a fucking dream.

"I don't have them much anymore anyway." He lied.

"InuYasha…I…"

"Go to bed" he said gruffly, laying down and turning his back on her.

Kagome nodded sadly and went back to her side of the curtain.

Neither slept again that night, but he smelled her tears for a long time afterward.

--_End Flashback_--

"Shit" InuYasha shook his head at his own stupidity. It hadn't been fair of him to take it out on her. She had been through hell. First watching Miroku die, then being the one to find Sango and the bloody mess she left behind. Kagome had been the next best thing to catatonic after she found her. When she woke up the next day, she might have been more alert, but InuYasha had never seen her so upset. She had come completely unraveled.

Was that when she started drinking?

He shrugged. Didn't matter now, she was better. That was the important thing. In a few more days, he would mention visiting Kaede and see how she reacted.  
He reeled his catch in and pulled it off the hook. He lifted the stringer out of the water and added the new one. Deciding he had enough, he pulled out a knife, starting to clean them the way Higurashi ojii had shown him.

"FUCK!" InuYasha hissed. Lost in thought, he had over cut the fish head and sliced into his hand. He grabbed the first thing he found to wrap around it, the old t-shirt he had thrown on when he woke up. It was no biggy as far as injuries went; it should be completely healed in an hour or so. He had gotten worse when Kagome had used the "sit" command on him.

oooooooo

Kagome rolled over, noticing that her curtain was part way open.  
She sat up, turning sideways. Looking through the window, she spotted him sitting at the end of the dock, fishing. She pulled her legs up underneath her nightgown, wishing for the three millionth time in the last twenty-four hours that she had a case of sake.

"Right now, life is an uber-mega super king sized suck-fest for this Higurashi Kagome." She thought, feeling herself falling into a major pity party.

"Yeah Higurashi, way to go" She said out loud "Feel sorry for yourself. That's part of what got you into this fucked up mess." Kagome sighed deeply and slid down in bed, completely crawling under the blankets.

Kagome's mother had been out a few days before and had a long talk with her about the drinking. Even though she was understanding, it was obvious she was pissed. InuYasha hadn't helped much; he hadn't had to tell her EVERY little detail did he? She'd had to make a diagram showing exactly which bottles she had messed with. How embarrassing. Kagome had wisely kept Sota's name completely out of it.

By the time she left and saw that Kagome really did seem to be pulling it together, she seemed better, not quite as angry. She did make it clear that locks were going to be put on the sake cellar. Kagome had mentally rolled her eyes at that one, but given the way she was feeling, Kagome had begun to think that was probably a good idea after all. Right now, she felt like going down there, sitting in the middle of the dirt floor, and seeing how much she could pour down her throat before anybody noticed she was there.

It wasn't that she needed the sake, or even wanted it. She just missed being able to wash her problems away with a few swallows. Thing was, they were still there when she woke up sober again. Then she would need more sake. She shook her head. No way. She wasn't letting that shit take her over again. She still had too much to do in her life. Things to accomplish, dreams and goals to see through to fruition.

And InuYasha needed her, even if he wouldn't admit it. She knew he had been lying about not having the nightmares much anymore. She still wasn't sleeping so great, and she heard him. But she had no real right to push the issue with him. She couldn't get that image out of her mind. The betrayed and hurt look in his eyes when he had thrown out that "Keh" when she asked why he hadn't told her about the nightmares.

Instead of comforting him, and letting him comfort her, she had shut him out. Was it too late though? She still hurt over losing them so much, and judging by the sounds coming from InuYasha's side of the curtain at night he was hurting worse than she was. They needed to talk. They needed to talk badly.

Kagome rolled out of bed and began to dress, deciding that now was as good a time as any, before she lost her nerve.

ooooooo

Shippo hadn't woken up in a good mood. He lay in the grass with his coloring book and crayons, the ones that Kagome had given him when he was sick and had to stay in bed for a long time. He remembered that she had sat up all night with him and read stories, and when she ran out of stories in her book, InuYasha and Kagome had made one up about a kitsune who wanted to be an InuYokai. Eventually InuYasha had taken the whole story over and he and Kagome had just listened, while InuYasha had them both laughing until their tummies hurt. Sure, InuYasha was mean to him and hit him a lot, but when it came down to it, he sure could be a nice guy sometimes. Truth be told, he was Shippo's hero.

"He use to be, I mean, no he's not." Shippo said to his crayons. "I hate him. That stupid girl too." but his voice lacked conviction.

Kirara walked up to him and mewed, begging to be petted. Shippo growled at him. "Leave me alone. You're stupid too." But he couldn't resist petting the soft fur under her chin. "Now go away."

Kirara sat down in front of Shippo.

"Hey, neko baka, I said go away." Shippo made a shooing gesture with his fingers.

Kirara bent her head and picked up the blue crayon with her mouth. Shippo's favorite color.

"What do you think your doing? Put that down!"

Shippo reached for the crayon, and Kirara started to run.

"You evil neko! Neko Baka! Neko Baka! Bring that back!!" Shippo yelled, giving chase. Shippo ran and ran but couldn't catch her, then stopped when Kirara stopped suddenly and dropped the crayon.

"Damn neko baka!" Shippo cursed, before bending over and picking up his crayon. When he stood up again he realized that Kirara had led him to the one place he had been avoiding.

The Bone Eaters well.

Shippo walked towards the well and jumped up on the side. How many times had he come here to wait with him for that girl to return? He wondered how she was. Was she getting better? What about him? He shook him self, what did he care? He hated them anyway.

"You know that you girl baka?" Shippo screamed down into the well "I hate you and I hope you never ever come back! Or you either InuYasha baka, I hate you too! I hate all of youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!"

Shippo jumped down on the ground and began hitting the side of the well with his fists, gouging and scraping leaving marks with the crayon. When the crayon broke he started hitting and kicking the well, not stopping until he had completely exhausted his strength. He fell backwards into the grass, breathing hard.

Shippo lay quietly crying, trying to catch his breath. Kirara walked over to him and nuzzled him with her nose, then lay down next to him.

Shippo got up and walked away from her.

oooooooo

Kagome came to the bottom of the hill and stopped for a minute. InuYasha sat at the end of the dock, shirtless, his hair blowing softly, back and forth in the light wind. Kagome stood still, almost trance like. He almost never went shirtless, and she was fascinated by the display of muscles on his arms and back.

He shivered slightly and having finished his task, he pulled his shirt back over his head and went about cleaning up the mess he had made, breaking her from her trance. Kagome stepped onto the dock, feeling it sway slightly underneath her feet. InuYasha looked over his shoulder at her.

"Hey, finally woke up huh lazy?" He smirked a little, teasing her. "Yeah." She smiled back

"Hey, InuYasha, could we…"InuYasha had stood and faced her, Kagome's eyes locked on the blood on his shirt. Her mind went into over drive, images past and present assaulted her from every angle.

_She walked through the high brush, feeling the best she had in days. Her heart felt so light from the teasing she had just engaged in with InuYasha and Shippo. She called out to Sango, to warn her that it was her coming and not an unwanted demon or animal or something._

_"Hey Sango, it's me. You won't believe what Shippo just said to me!"_

**"Kagome?" InuYasha looked at her. All the color had drained from her face, her eyes huge.**

_But Sango didn't answer. Kagome pushed through the last of the brush, Sango lay face down in the water._

**InuYasha moved forward, concern etched into his face. "Kagome? What's wrong?" She backed away from him. Blood, there was blood everywhere. Too much blood. Too much**…

_"Sango? She knelt down and touched her shoulder, pulling her hand back suddenly._

_ "Blood?" she looked at her fingers "So much blood" She slid into water of the hot spring, afraid of what she was going to see when she turned Sango over. Slowly she turned her, seeing the blood still gushing from the slash to her neck. She screamed, pulling Sango into her arms.  
Her whiter than white sleeves turned red. "It's the blood. They're turning read because of all the blood"_

**InuYasha reached again for Kagome, she backed away, her hands up in a warding gesture.**

**"Blood." she sounded as if she was in a trace, staring at the blood on the front of InuYasha's shirt from the cut on his hand. "So much blood."**

_Her hands were covered in Blood, she dipped them in the water, but the water had turned bloody too now._

"Get it off me!" Furiously she wiped her hands on her pants, trying to wipe away something that wasn't there. "Get it off!"

"Kagome?" He was worried, afraid she was loosing her mind for good. He reached out to pull her against him; she shoved against him, pushing him away.

Kagome looked up, seeing InuYasha. She looked down at his neck; her mind told her it was gushing blood.

"No! InuYasha! No!" She screamed, wailing at the same time "InuYasha! No! You can't die too!" She grabbed onto his arms, her fingernails dug in deep, breaking the skin.

"Kagome!" InuYasha gently grabbed her shoulders as her knees buckled and she began to fall to the dock. "I'm not dead, I'm right here." he sat with her,

"No…I saw…I saw the blood. I saw your blood." she whispered into his chest. Her body shaking violently.

InuYasha took her face into his hands, tilting her face so she was looking into his eyes. "Look at me Kagome. Hey, Kagome ….I'm not dead." Her stare was blank, like the face of someone out of touch with reality.

He reached down into the water, bringing up a handful of the cold water splashing her in the face with it. His hands remained, cupping her face, not allowing her to break eye contact.

"Kagome…I'm not dead."

Reality returned to her eyes, along with a fresh torrent of tears, and she nodded slightly, clinging to him.

"InuYasha…It was so horrible, when I found Sango, It was so horrible."

"I know." he said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. He laid her hea against him again, holding her while she cried into his chest. He cradled her in the crook of his arm, using the other to brush the hair out of her face.

ooooooo

"Shippo, tell me what has you so angry this evening."

Kaede looked at the young kitsune, unwilling to let him off the hook. If Kagome and InuYasha weren't here to bring Shippo into line then it fell to her.

"I'm not angry." he stared down, picking at his rice.

"That is not the way it would seem by the mess at the bone eaters well." Kaede looked at him sternly.

Shippo glared at Kirara, sleeping over in the corner. There was no sense in denying it. He was the only one in the village who had a blue crayon. He was the only one in feudal Japan who had a crayon, period.

He decided the best thing to do was to just keep quiet. He crossed his arms over his chest, stubbornly remaining quiet.

Kaede sighed. So Shippo wasn't going to talk.  
"Very well, however, you shall go tomorrow and clean up the mess."

Shippo glared at her for a minute, and then stomped out of the hut.

Kaede sighed again, the only people who could get through to Shippo were five hundred years in the future. They best come back soon. Kaede was fast loosing her grip on the boy.

oooooooo

Kagome slowly opened her eyes to see a white wall directly in front of her face. She lifted her hand to push against it, feeling it give. It wasn't a wall at all, but a person. InuYasha… She moved herself backwards so she could look up. He lay there, holding her, fully awake. He looked down at her, unsure what to say.

"Kagome…" He pulled his arm from her back, brushing his fingers down her arm, then back up to massage her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Then she remembered. Blood. She had seen his blood and lost it. She rose up on her elbow, cupping her head in her hand so she could look at him.

"InuYasha…I'm sorry I lost it like that. Down on the dock."

InuYasha copied her position.

"Baka. Don't apologize."

She let her arm fall, flopping down on her pillow. InuYasha moved closer to her, putting an arm around her, playing with the hair that fell across her pillow.

"Is that why you started drinking?" He questioned softly, Kagome answered with a nod.

"Yes. Well, partly." She looked away from him. "Part of it was that it hurt so much. Losing them. And I felt guilty, because I didn't stop her."

"Do you really think you could have?" He asked as much for himself as for her.

"I don't know. I wish she would have given is the chance to try."

"I'm sorry that you were the one to find her, Kagome. I'd give anything if I could go back and change that."

She rolled over to face him, ready to tell him everything

"The worst thing was….The blood, you know? At first, I was in shock, but the next day when I woke up, I realized that I couldn't get away from it. No matter what I did. I saw it. I thought if I went home it would go away, and it did for a little while. But then it came there too. I saw it when I was awake, and when I was asleep. When I started seeing it on you, I wouldn't let you visit anymore. If I didn't see you, I didn't see the blood on you."

"And the Sake got rid of the blood?"

"It was the only thing that made me feel better. After I saw the blood on you, I got scared. I was so scared I couldn't stand it. I never felt fear like that before, not even when Naraku's creepy baby tried to take my eyes. Drinking made me feel numb. I didn't feel pain, or sadness or loneliness. I wasn't afraid and I didn't see the blood. Not at first anyway. I started seeing the blood even when I was numb. That's why I drank so much the night you found me."

"I understand, but Kagome, sake won't make it go away, everything is still there right?"

Kagome nodded. "InuYasha," She looked at him "I know I have to, but, I'm afraid to go back. I'm afraid that if we do, that you will die." she began to cry again softly. InuYasha wiped her tears with his knuckles, and then lay down, pulling her against him.

"Kagome…I can't promise that I won't die"

"I know" Kagome cried into his neck, her voice nearly breaking his heart.

"Wait, let me finish." He waited for her nod, and then went on "I can't promise that I won't die. But we have been in this together for a long time, and you have seen me get pretty beat up and survive. So there is a good chance I will be okay. But if what you need is to walk away from all of this, I will understand. When it is all over, I will come back to you"

"But, what about Naraku"

"I think Sesshomaru and I can defeat him. Perhaps if I resign myself to his authority, he will fight along side of me"

Kagome backed away, looking at him, shocked. "InuYasha! To Sesshomaru? You can't do that"

"I will, if I means that you don't have to fight." He looked at her.

"Why?"

InuYasha fought to find the words, to tell her what she meant to him. That she was everything to him. He cupped her neck in his palm, caressing her jaw gently with his thumb. His other arm wrapped tightly around her, holding her against him.

"Please, tell me why InuYasha." she whispered.

"Kagome." His eyes lost in hers, he struggled for coherent thought, finally he lowered his head, brushing his lips across hers. "Do you really not know what you mean to me?"

"InuYasha…" Kagome's struggled to believe that this was real. That InuYasha had really just kissed her. Then, he kissed her again. He teased her lips with his tongue, and she willingly opened them to him. A long time later, he broke the kiss, pulling her head to rest against his chest.

"InuYasha?" She asked, reaching her arm around him to tangle it in his hair at his back.

"Yeah?"

"I'll go back with you."

"Kagome…are you sure?"

"I promised Sango I would keep Naraku from getting Kohaku's no tama shard, I promised Kikyo I would keep it pure. I owe it to Miroku to help avenge his death. I'm the one who broke the Shikon no Tama; it's my fault it ended up in Naraku's hands.

"You didn't do it alone Kagome. I played a part in the Shikon no tama being broken."

She smiled and rose up on her elbow, leaning down to kiss him. "I guess you did. But, I have to go anyway."

"Why?" He let a hand into her hair, running his fingers through the thickness.

"I don't want to be afraid anymore." InuYasha pulled her head down so he could kiss her again, long and sweet. Kagome lay with her cheek resting on his chest.

"Besides, I miss Shippo."


	7. Chapter Seven Inside the Barrier

Disclaimer: After seven chapters, I STILL don't own InuYasha, that pleasure belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, However, I won't bitch should anyone wish to purchase him for me for Christmas! I'll settle for a life size cut out of Sesshomaru though...wink wink 

Okie Dokie and away we go, swing your partner doe see doe!  
(sorry, weird mood)

Notes: This is kind of more of a bonus chapter-ette, sort of chapter 6 1/2. I got a comment about how depressing the fic was, so I thought I would change things up a little bit and give our favorite Hanyou and his lady love something to smile about. NO THIS IS NOT A LEMON!! LOL Not even a proper lime-though it is lime-ish. InuYasha is even controlling his language for the most part.

Loss

Chapter Seven

Inside the Barrier

oooooo

oooo

_"InuYasha…" Kagome called to him, waving him over to the Goshinboku. He smiled and ran to where she waited, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her close._

_"Sorry I'm late." InuYasha smiled down at her, her head was down, she was crying softly. "Kagome…?"_

_"You're too late InuYasha."_

_InuYasha lifted her chin, her neck was slashed, her eyes dead. He gasped backing away from her._

_"Why...InuYasha?"_

_Kagome lifted her hand, dagger held firmly, coming towards him…_

InuYasha's eyes jerked open, his breathing normal, his heart beat calm. Compared to the other nightmares he had been having lately, that was minor. He rolled over onto his back, reaching out with his hand.

"Kagome?"

She was gone, slipped away sometime after he had drifted off. He panicked for a minute, not knowing where she was or how long she had been gone. She had been so upset before. Had she… No! Kagome promised him, no more drinking. He sat up, shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight streaming through the cabin window. It was then that he heard the splash.

He stood, going to window. Then he saw her. Lying on a raft on the lake, her body glistening with water drops in the hot afternoon sun. InuYasha smiled, relief flooding through him. It was something the old Kagome would do. Another sign that she was really getting better.

InuYasha went into his room, putting on the strange swim clothing Higurashi no haha-ue had given him. He stopped in the kitchenette, grabbing two cans of soda from the cold food closet and left the cabin, going down to the dock.

InuYasha approached silently, not wanting to ruin his chance to surprise her. He jumped high off the end of the dock, the cans of soda held firmly in his hands, aiming his landing directly at the side of the raft, curling himself up into a ball to maximize the size of the splash. He came up, grinning, to see Kagome, now dripping wet, laughing and smiling at him.

"InuYasha" she laughed, splashing him "Grow up."

"I'm two-hundred and four years old, how much more grown do you want me?" He grinned at her, pulling himself up on the raft, laying the cold soda on her hot legs.

"Ahhhh! InuYasha!" She giggled, "That's cold."

He leaned over and kissed her, then pulled back, rolling his eyes at her.

"I know. Why do you think I did it?"

He grinned, settling back against the backrest, linking his fingers with hers. Kagome scooted over, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

They were quiet for a long time, both content in the silence of the waning afternoon. As time passed, Kagome's heart became troubled.

"InuYasha?" she spoke hesitantly.

"Yeah?" He nuzzled her head with his cheek.

"When you woke up and I was gone, what did you think?"

"What do you mean?" He pulled back, urging her head backwards so he could look at her.

She refused to meet his eyes. "Did you think that I had run away… to drink?"

InuYasha sighed "Kagome…"

InuYasha hooked a finger under her chin, turning her face to his. He kissed her, letting his forehead rest against hers.

"Yeah, I worried a little. But you messed up Ka…." Kagome cut him off, turning away from him.

Kagome looked away, bit her lip to hold the tears.

"I understand InuYasha. I messed up. Now you can't trust me. I don't blame you, it's my fault."

InuYasha let his head fall back against the raft, looking at the back of her head. "Hey, Kagome…" He pulled on her hand "Don't be like this, listen to me."

When she still didn't turn he lifted the hand he still held to his face, kissing each of her fingers, then held it on his chest over his heart.

"It not so much that I don't trust you anymore Kagome. But, you did do something really stupid, something really serious that could have hurt you. It's just going to take sometime for me to trust that you're completely past it."

She turned her head back, though still not looking up at him, tears in the corner of her eyes. InuYasha reached his thumb up and wiped them away.

"When I found you that night, when you were passed out? I never thought I would ever see anything like that from you. I don't want to see it again, ever. I know your better since then, but after today…" He trailed off, willing her to understand, the way she always had.

"I was worried." he finished.

" You know InuYasha; I don't miss the sake, or the numb feeling so much. But, I do miss being able to escape the pain. I still miss them so much, and what Sango did, it still bothers me, seeing all that blood. I worry a little about how I will react in battle now. Right now I'm great, It's like were inside of a barrier here where were safe, but we can't stay here. But, will I be okay when the barrier comes down next week and we go back?"

He put his arm around her, pulling her close.

"Were just going back to your house. We can take it slow with going back through the well. When the time comes, I'll be with you, I'll protect you and keep you safe. Trust in that. The rest, you just gotta give it time."

She nodded, looking up at him sadly. "But what about me…I want you to be able to trust me again."

"I trust you with my life Kagome." InuYasha gave her a squeeze, lifting her chin for a kiss, brushing her jaw and ear with his thumb.

He pulled away, grinning. "Now your cooking, that's another matter."

"You!" Kagome laughed, giving him a firm shove, but not quite hard enough to throw him over the side of the raft.

InuYasha's eyes were bright, reflecting sunlight and mirth "Baka temee! You tried to push me in!"

"Me?" Kagome looked at him, eyes wide with innocence, trying for all she was worth to hold back a grin.

"Me?" InuYasha replied in high voice, a rather bad mimic, rolling his eyes, "No me Baka! Maybe you would like to go in." He raised an eye brow at her"

Kagome threw her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

"InuYasha, you don't want to do that."

She smiled, lying back so he would have to move towards the middle of the raft; his body pressed fully against hers.

"I don't?"

"No." Kagome rearranged an arm so it wrapped around his waist, she softly traced a path up his spine, lifting her head to meet his lips. His tongue brushed her lips, and she opened them to him, their tongues met briefly Before InuYasha pulled away.

"Why not?" He traced the curve of her hip with his thumb, tickling under the string of her swimming suit with his claw.

"Huh?" Kagome looked at him, drawing a blank as to what he could possibly be thinking of that was more important than what they had been doing.

InuYasha gave her a smirk.

"Keh, women."

Kagome wondered why the smug comment, the one that usually annoyed her so much, sounded so sexy all of a sudden.

"Why don't I want to throw you in?" he took her lips again, pushing her onto her back. His fingers lightly touched her bare stomach, then brushed softly over her breasts before he pulled away again.

"Kagome?"

She looked at him, confusion in her eyes.  
"Huh?

"Why don't I want to throw you in?"

"Because, this is a lot more fun?" She looked up at him, grinning, his eyes crinkled, then they both started laughing. Kagome sat up, gently pushing him back.

"We need to stop, we can't…." She sighed "I want to, someday, but right now…"

"Its okay" He kissed her again, brushing his fingers over her cheek. "I understand. We have a lot we need to talk about before we….uh…um." His face turned red.

Kagome looked over at him, giggling. "You're so cute when you blush."

InuYasha blushed more.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"I think its cool enough to build a fire if you want?" InuYasha said, coming into the cabin after using the outdoor shower.

"That would be nice. It gets so cold in here once the sun goes down." She smiled, thinking how cute he looked with his hair spiking in all different directions.

He gave her a deep bow, taking her hand and kissing it "Anything for your comfort"

Kagome laughed, pushing on his shoulder. "Don't go overboard InuYasha."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder; snatching pieces of the raw carrots she was chopping.

"Stop that" she giggled, "There wont be any left for the stir-fry!"

"Ok" He snatched another small piece of carrot

"Weren't you going to build a fire?"

"Yeah." Another piece of carrot was history

"InuYasha, if you grab one more carrot, I am going to chop your finger off!"

He grinned, backing away.

"Jeeeezzee. Calm down. Such a temee!" He laughed, "I'll go build that fire." He gave her a quick kiss, using the distraction to steal another carrot.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner was finished, dishes washed and put away. InuYasha and Kagome turned out the lights and sat on the old sofa in front of the fireplace. Kagome spread a blanket over their laps, InuYasha had his arm around her, and Kagome couldn't remember ever having felt more secure or safe.

They didn't speak for a long time, just enjoying being together and the absence of the uncertainty that usually hung over them, not knowing how the other felt. Strangely, it was InuYasha who broke the silence first.

"Kagome?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you ever think about where we should live when this shit with Naraku is all over?"

"What?" Kagome sat up a little, surprised.

"Well, we have to live somewhere right?"

Kagome smiled, InuYasha was confused to see a tear fall down her cheek.

"Kagome…what's wrong…why are you crying?"

"Nothing" She whispered the word, finding her voice failed her. "Nothings wrong. I just…didn't know…that…I mean, I was afraid…I've waited for so long, so long," She choked up and stopped, lowering her head.

"Kagome?" InuYasha looked at her, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I just asked where you want to live when…"

"I didn't know if you would still want me after Naraku was dead." She whispered

InuYasha was taken aback, shocked. "Kagome…what did you just say?"

She lifted her head, swiping at the tears on her eyelashes "I said I didn't know if you would still want me after Naraku was dead."

He was quiet for a minute, then he looked at her.

"Baka! Why the fuck…uh…Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, I just…I guess I was just, it's just that I've waited, I've loved you for so long…and now that it's…"

"You love me?"

Kagome's cheeks turned red, she wished she would turn into liquid, drip through the cushions and hide under the sofa. Look at what the hell had she just let slip!

"Uh…" Hell with it. "Yes," She looked at her lap "I love you, InuYasha."

Kagome didn't breathe, didn't look up, didn't move. She just closed her eyes and wished for quick painless death. Instead, she felt InuYasha's hands on her cheeks, tilting her head up to look at him. His eyes locked into hers with an intensity Kagome had never seen before. He lowered his head to hers, his hands slipping down to her shoulders and lower back. Moments before his lips took hers; his breath was warm against her ear, whispering the words that she had waited for so long to hear.

"Kagome…I love you."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

New Feature!

Chapter 8 Preview:

Kagome and InuYasha return home, while she is away at school getting her make up work, InuYasha slips through the well to check on Shippo and Kaede. A lot has changed and InuYasha can't wait to update them on Kagome, and share the plans he and Kagome have made. When InuYasha returns to Kagome's time seriously pissed off, he questions weather they should return to the warring states era, while Kagome questions returning to school.

Find out why in Chapter 8...Coming Soon


	8. Chapter Eight Whispered Screams

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, Rumiko Takahashi does, I just jumped in her mini-van and started honking the horn. 

Notes: As you will see, I had to stop short of where I said I would in my preview last time. I Hit 17 pages on word and knew if I didn't stop my mind was going to freeze up and then I would have to reboot, and end up losing everything.  
Because of that, and because I don't really know where I am going after that review is completed, there isn't a preview for chapter 9. Sorry bout that. Also, I am coming into a busy week the rest of this week, and all of next week, so updates will likely be a little slower.

Hey, what happened to my reviewers?? Only three for the mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff in chapter seven?Come on guys! Remember my ego!  
Must I always end my notes with begging?

WELL FINE!!!

MORE MORE MORE!!!!

Loss

Chapter 8

Whispered Screams

oooooooo

_Kagome lay on the raft, safely tucked in InuYasha's arms. He smiled down at her, his eyes glowing in the sunlight._

_He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her gently, cradling her head in his hand._

_The sky turned dark and a streak of lightning lit up the sky, followed seconds later by an ear-shattering clap of thunder._

_Kagome panicked, it wasn't good to be on the water during a storm.  
She pulled away from the one who held her. "InuYasha…"_

_"Don't be afraid Kagome, I'll always protect you." He smiled, then began kissing her neck. A loud ringing began, mixing with the thunder and lightning._

_"InuYasha, what is that?"_

_"I don't know." He sat up, totally alert. "How the fuck am I suppose to protect you from something I can't even see?"_

_The ringing went on; it was so loud it hurt her ears._

_"Kagome…turn it off."_

_"I don't know where it is."_

_"Baka." He laughed softly "It's on the table, right next to you."_

_"What table?!"_

_"Keh" He reached out his arm to push her off the raft. Laughing._

_"InuYasha! No! Stop!"_

Kagome's eyes jerked open, feeling herself being rolled over while InuYasha attempted to reach her alarm clock. His other arm was firmly around her neck and waist, taking care that she wouldn't fall off the side of the bed.

She reached up, hitting the button to shut off the alarm, and then slid up on her elbows. She yawned, wiping the sleep out of her eyes, noticing the thunderstorm outside.

InuYasha moved over, looking at her w

ith alert eyes, as if he had been awake for some time. Kagome lay down next to him, taking his hand in both of hers.

"Been awake a long?"

"A little while, not too long though." He moved his head close to hers, breathing in the scent of her hair. "Are you still nervous about today?" "A little. I don't know why though. To them it shouldn't be like any big difference right?" Kagome looked at him for reassurance. "I'm always missing school for long stretches at a time." she released his hand and turned over, putting her arm around him.

"But?" He questioned, rubbing his nose into her hair.

"But, this is the first time there was really something wrong with me. I kind of went nuts, and some of my friends know that."

"Nuts?" he looked at her, confused.

"Um, crazy? Loony, lost my mind,…snapped" She stopped as the confusion seemed to clear from his expression. He gave her a squeeze, and then kissed her on the forehead.

"If they are real friends Kagome, they should understand that you went through hell before you, uh…snapped. I know they don't, and can't know everything you have been through. But your real friends should understand. And as for the others…"

Kagome smiled a little, cutting him off, she knew what he was about to say.

"Fuck em?"

He looked at her, surprised for a minute, then smiled. "Keh… not literally, but… yeah, fuck em."

"Kagome-chan?" Her mother called from the hallway, then stood smiling in the still door less doorway. "Oh, good. You are awake. Good morning." She saw InuYasha was also awake "Good morning InuYasha-kun"

Kagome returned her good morning, and then tossed back her covers, rising and going to her closet.

"How are you feeling Kagome-chan?" Mrs. Higurashi smiled, concerned.

Kagome stopped digging in her closet to look at her mother.

"Nervous and kind of scared to tell you the truth." She sighed deeply

Mrs. Higurashi moved into the room and hugged her, lovingly stroking her hair. "You can admit that you are scared, that is a good thing, when you accept it, you're able to deal with it, instead of pretending that nothing is wrong. Right?" She pulled back, her hands cupping Kagome's face.

"Right Haha-ue." Kagome smiled

She kissed Kagome on the cheek, the released her. "You will be fine, and I gave you that cell phone. If you need me or InuYasha today, you can call."

"Actually…" InuYasha spoke up, having been nearly forgotten still lying in Kagome's bed. "I thought I would go through the well and check on Kaede and Shippo. I've been gone for such a long time. " He looked at Kagome "Unless you want me to stay here. Just in case…"

Kagome bit her lip, fighting the urge to beg him to go to school with her and protect her. "How long will you be gone?"

"I hadn't thought about it. Long enough to knock Shippo around if he's getting on Kaede's nerves I guess, and catch her up on how you are. I'd like to tell her our plans, to see what she thinks."

"Really?" A smile covered Kagome's face. InuYasha wanted to talk about them to Kaede? To tell other people they were committed to one another? Had plans to….

"Kagome, you better hurry so you don't miss your bus!" Mrs. Higurashi broke into her thoughts, chuckling as she left the room. "Breakfast is waiting also."

"Oh" She smiled "Right." She reached for a uniform skirt and blouse, and then went back to the bed. She jumped onto it, bouncing on her knees over to InuYasha. He sat up and put his arms around her, kissing her softly.

"Could you be back when I get back from school? Just in case?" She looked up at him, a touch of sadness in her beautiful dark brown eyes.

"In case what?" He gave her a reassuring squeeze, extra tight, making her squeak. Kagome laughed a little.

"In case I miss you half as much today as I think I am going to." She gave him a quick kiss, then pulled away, rushing to the bathroom to dress,

InuYasha fell back against the pillows, crossing his arms behind his head with a little grin. "Keh. She's got it bad."

------------------------------------------------

"Just smile and bear it Higurashi" Kagome plastered her fake smile back in place for the tenth time in as many minutes, and nodded patiently as the guidance councilor went on and on. The day was not off to a good start. She ended up just missing the bus, making her late. When she had walked into her first period class, late, she felt like all eyes had been on her. In fact, they had. Then of all things, the guidance councilor Yamarami-sama had called her into the office to offer her services.

It wasn't enough that she had more or less had a mental break down, now she was being treated like she was "emotionally fragile" Was how Yamarami-sama had put it. Kagome mentally rolled her eyes, looking up at the clock. "Higurashi-san, as difficult as today is going to be for you, I am here should you need help." The middle-aged women smiled, her expression telling Kagome that she had eaten up every juicy bit of the gossip about her.

Kagome smothered a yawn. She stood, then bowed slightly

"Arigato domo Yamarami-sama. Please forgive me, but I am so behind in all of my classes. May I be excused?"

"Of course dear" the old woman bowed in return, dismissing her.

Kagome opened the door, shutting it quietly behind her. She rested her back against the door, rolling her eyes.

"Baka! I would take my problems to Naraku before I would talk to her!"

"Kagome! You're back!" Ayumi came out of the classroom across the hallway, rushing over to hug her friend.

"Ayumi hi!" Kagome smiled, genuinely happy to see her friend. The bell dismissing the first period class rang then and the girls walked together towards their lockers.

"How are you Kagome? I tired to call, but your mother said you were away. I'm sorry about your friends who died." Ayumi reached over and gave her hand a quick squeeze.

"Thank you. I'm much better, it's still hard though."

"Well, if you need someone to listen." Ayumi smiled "Oh, look there's Yuka and Eri." Ayumi waved, catching the girl's attention.

"Hi Ayumi. Hi Kagome." Yuka said, not turning around

"Hi guys, gotta go." Eri slammed her locker shut

"Oh, Me too." Yuka said

"Wait a minute." Ayumi said, "Since it is Kagome's first day back, I was thinking we could go to Wacdonalds after school, my treat even."

"Oh, I ca…" Kagome began.

"I'd love to, but I have to baby-sit. Yuka's said she would come and keep me company." Eri said "Maybe another day"

She slammed her locker and her and Yuka walked away.

"Well, just us then?" Ayumi smiled at Kagome

"Thank you, but, I need to go straight home."

Kagome stopped smiling, picking up a conversation behind her.

"Hey check it out, there she is."

"Who?"

"Crazy Kagome."

"Oh, the mental girl."

Ayumi reached over and squeezed Kagome's hand.

"Kagome, don't listen to them. There a couple of ugly smelly baka 7th grade boys, what do they know?"

She nodded and followed Ayumi down the hallway.

Kagome forced her fake smile back into place. The words seemed to be quickly becoming a silent mantra.

"Just smile and bear it, girl. Just smile and bear it."

------------------------------------------------------------

Kaede sat, silently meditating, trying to calm her thoughts and heart. It had been just over three full moons now since InuYasha had gone to help Kagome, he hadn't returned once.

She had every confidence that Kagome would find her way out of the sadness that had overtaken her heart when Sango died. What Kagome couldn't do herself, InuYasha would help her do. He was the force behind her strength, just as she was the force behind his. It may have taken the Shikon no Tama to bring the two together, but love was the sealing agent that held them. They would know that if they would stop bickering long enough to open their temperamental eyes and see one another's hearts.

Kaede sighed, opening her eyes. In the state her mind and heart were in, there was no point in trying to meditate any further. She was much too distracted. But, Kagome and InuYasha weren't the problem. It was the young one, Shippo. His little heart was so filled with pain, but when she tried to talk to him, he put up a wall. Since Kaede had tried, unsuccessfully, to make him clean the crayon off the well, he spent hours away from the village. He only came back to eat and sleep.

Kaede had just closed her eyes again when she felt the screen behind her open and someone stepped into the hut.

"Well" She didn't bother to keep the annoyance out of her voice "How nice to see you. The noon meal has been cleared, don't expect food."

"For as long as I've been gone, you could be a little nicer you old hag." Kaede opened her eyes.

She looked over her shoulder as she slowly turned. "Is that you InuYasha?"

"Keh. Well, yeah. Who else ya expecting?" He grinned, entering the hut fully and sitting cross-legged by Kaede. She patted his shoulder.

"I am happy to see you InuYasha. Very happy indeed." The smiled disappeared from her face. "I do not see Kagome-sama. Does this mean she still is not well?" Kaede looked at him, concerned deeply etched in her face.

InuYasha smiled eager to assure the old woman. "No, Kagome is doing a lot better. Actually, she went back to school today."

"That is truly good news." Kaede nodded.

"You can't imagine what a pain in the ass she was. She gave me permission to tell you about it, she's still not really ready to come back through the well." He looked around the empty hut "But, that can wait."

"Where's the brat?" He seemed confused, Shippo was no where to be found. He had kind of expect him and Kirara to come running when they caught his scent coming from this side of the well.

"InuYasha, Shippo I am afraid, has become a bit of a problem. Shippo has gone off on his own again. Kirara follows him to assure his safety, but a few times Shippo has caught Kirara following and gotten quite angry. He went so far as to kick at her two days ago."

InuYasha's eyes went huge. Shippo? Shippo, had actually kicked at Kirara? No way.  
"No way." He shook his head "I don't think Shippo is even capable of that sort of…"

"I saw it with my own eyes InuYasha, and the eyes do not lie." Kaede looked at the fire sadly "Shippo I am afraid, is not himself. He needs to be gotten under hand, and soon, before he finds himself in the kind of trouble he cannot find his way out of."

InuYasha looked away from her. Shippo? Being mean? Causing trouble?  
What the hell?

It was then the Kitsune himself walked in, followed by the two-tail. Kirara sniffed at InuYasha, then laid down in a corner. Shippo still stood by the door, a battle waging inside of him. His heart that had so missed InuYasha and Kagome wanted to leap at him and hug him, to beg him for news of Kagome. His head on the other hand, wanted to scream at InuYasha, to tell him to just leave and never come back. His head knew that InuYasha and Kagome were going to die soon too, especially if they continued with this battle with Naraku.

"Hey Shippo, where ya been off to?"

InuYasha sounded about as nice and non-combative as Shippo had ever heard him. Hadn't Kaede told him anything?

"How long you been here?" Shippo ignored InuYasha's question

"Not long. I can't stay long either; I just came to give you and Kaede some news about Kagome."

"Oh." he acted distant, as if he couldn't care less, but InuYasha didn't miss that his ears had perked up slightly at the mention of her name, even though his voice was full of sarcasm "Pity."

"News you say InuYasha?" Kaede smiled, "I would gather it is good news, you seem anxious to share it."

InuYasha looked at the back of Shippo's head. Shippo was acting much like Kagome had been, not talking to anyone, sulking around. But, now he knew most of that was so she could drink in private and not get caught. Shippo sounded strange, not like himself at all. He sounded…hard, like he was purposely hardening himself.

"Uh, Shippo, Don't you want to come and listen? It involves you."

The kitsune sighed, sounding bored.

"If I have to."

"Yeah, you have to."

Shippo stood and walked past InuYasha, yawning loudly almost directly in his face. InuYasha was annoyed. What was that expression Kagome was so fond of?

Grin and bear it.

"Keh… easy to say" He rolled his eyes at his thoughts "Its only go for so long before I squash that little runt"

"InuYasha, come now, tell us this news." Kaede urged, wishing that for once Shippo would be on his best behavior.

"Well, you were right Kaede, it is good news…"

Shippo yawned again, loudly, and directed it again at InuYasha.

InuYasha clenched his teeth, feeling his fangs dig into his bottom lip.

InuYasha had only one thought. "Grin and bear it my ass."

--------------------------------------------------

Kagome had wondered for a few minutes last night if she was being silly for thinking that her secret would be all over school. It wasn't like she was all that important. Not like she was one of the well-known kids. A big athlete or actress in the theater crowd. She had almost convinced herself for five minutes even that she was gone so much before that maybe people would think she was a transfer student.

No such luck. More than once she had heard whispers about "Crazy Kagome", Others just looked at her strangely. By lunchtime, Kagome felt like she had just spent the morning in hell. She got her food tray and sat in a quiet corner of the lunchroom. Determined to eat quickly and quietly, then leave quickly and quietly, more than anything else, doing both unnoticed.

It wasn't to be; she quickly picked up the conversation at the next table, a group of popular girls. Fortunately, her back was to them.

"I can't believe that she is back is school already." voice.

"Who?"

"Higurashi"

"Everyone's calling her Crazy Kagome."

"That's mean."

"No, Coo-Coo Kaggy would be mean"

They all laughed

Kagome knew she should tune them out, or move to another table, but itwas like driving by a car accident. She couldn't help but keep listening, even though she could feel bile rising in her throat.

"She use to be normal…kind of cool even."

"What happened to her?"

"You know, she started being gone from school a lot."

"Sure, but that was a long time ago, 9th grade I think."

"I heard she got mixed up with a gang."

"No, that's not true!" Kagome's mind screamed, she wanted to get up and scream it out at the snotty girls. "How can they tell such lies? Such out and out lies!"

"What really happened…" they all leaned in and Kagome strained her ears to hear. Something she regretted deeply.

"Crazy Kagome got mixed up with some violent gang guy, and he was super jealous. Well, I hear she got pregnant with this other guys kid, and when her boyfriend found out he freaked out he killed the guy and his girlfriend"

"Oh My GOD! No Way!"

"I heard that too…but what I heard was that he did it while Higurashi watched, then he beat Higurashi up so bad she lost the baby. Then she lied to the police to protect him."

"That's SICK!"

Kagome's mind screamed.

"HOW! How they say such LIES ?"

Before she stopped to think, she stood up and walked over to the table where the girls sat.

"Excuse me; I couldn't help but over hear" her voice dripped with sarcasm. She fixed them with a hard glare, refusing to look ashamed, but looking them directly in the eye. "You know who I am right? Krazy Kagome?"

One of the more obnoxious girls laughed, "You have the nerve to show your face after what you did? You **are** crazy."

"Yes. I did go a little crazy for a time." Kagome conceded. "It's called being depressed, my doctor says it is normal after a friend who is like a brother is killed in a horrible accident and his fiancée, my best friend, is so upset that she kills herself." Kagome was satisfied to see the more conscience ridden of the group squirm.

"Say what you want about me, I don't care. But don't ever say another hateful thing about my boyfriend. He is the sweetest, most gentle person I have ever known."

One of the girls, the biggest talker, got up and began to walk away, but she had to pass Kagome. She stopped in front of her.

"My sources say different"

"Your sources…"

Kagome put her hand under the girl's tray and flipped it up, spilling leftover food all over the girl, then turned to walk away.

"….lied"

"You…you…saseko!"

Kagome didn't stop, but looked back quickly

"Kutabare!"

She was just about to the door of the lunchroom when she was stopped by a voice. An authoritative voice.

"Higurashi, you need to come with me."

---------

"Higurashi, I understand you have been under, uh, difficult, uh, uh, circumstances, with your uh, um, mental, problems. But that does not give you a right to come back and be abusive to other students."

Kagome rolled her eyes as she watched the administrator write out a slip for after school detention.

"Hai. Sato-sama" She bowed politely, biting back the remarks she longed to make.  
"I would have thought by now your okaa-san would have taught you proper manners."

Kagome bit her lip, now haha-ue was being dragged into this?

He tore off the slip and handed it to her. Kagome looked at it, then bit down on her lip so hard she tasted blood.

"Two weeks? Isn't that a bit much? I have never even been in trouble before! Besides, they started it!"

"That is the consequence Higurashi."

"But I have other responsibilities after school and…."

"Well, that gangster boyfriend of yours is just going to have to wait for you to get out of detention now isn't he?"

"My boyfriend isn't a gan…."

"Your dismissed Higurashi"

Kagome felt her eyes sting as she turned around and left the office. She turned and ran to the first bathroom she came to, locking herself in a stall just as the tears started to pour. Seconds later the door opened.

"Everyone is being so mean to her."

Kagome knew that voice…

"But Eri, you shouldn't have told Tsuno all that stuff. Tsuno has a big mouth, I told you it would get all over."

"Hey Yuka, I wonder how long she's really been mental"

"Well, it does explains all those absenses."

"Hey, do you think that's where she met InuYasha really?" Eri asked

Kagome put her hand over her mouth

"The nuthouse? I don't know, could be I guess."

Kagome pulled her feet up under her, making sure she wouldn't be seen.

"Can you believe Ayumi this morning? I can't believe she did that."

"In front of Kagome no less, like we'd be afraid to say no with Kagome there or something?"

"She knows I don't want to be around her, she's too creepy. I don't know how she stands it."

"Oh! Were gonna be late!"

Both girls rushed out, leaving Kagome alone.

Kagome waited until she heard the bell ring. She left the stall, then the bathroom. She walked down to her locker, got her backpack, and left school.

Thirty minutes later, she sat in a park alone, a freshly opened bottle of sake resting between her knees.

-------------------------------------------

"Oh InuYasha! That is just wonderful!" Kaede smiled, having just been informed that InuYasha and Kagome were in fact a "couple"

Shippo yawned, lying on his side, head propped up in his hand.

"I think so too" InuYasha smiled "Though I can't imagine it's too much of a surprise to you huh Shippo"

"I couldn't care less."

"Shippo mind your manners" Kaede burst out, swatting him on the behind. InuYasha only sat, stunned by the behavior of the kitsune. It was like two different ones.

"Maybe you will care about this." InuYasha began; sure, this would get some kind of reaction from Shippo.

"When Kagome is done with this spring we are going to be married in her tradition, then mated in the demon tradition."

"InuYasha!" Kaede pulled him over for a hug "This is certainly welcome and wonderful news! And, I must say, It has certainly taken the two of you long enough." the old woman laughed

"Yeah, Yeah" InuYasha smiled, blushing slightly.

"What does any of this have to do with me?" Shippo asked, sitting up.

"Well, once I finish building a place for us to live, we want you to live with us, as a family."

Shippo's eyes lit for a second. A family? A real house and parents again?  
But, parents died. He knew that only too well. No way.

"Well, "Shippo put all his maturity behind his voice. " Actually, I was going to tell Kaede tonight. I'm leaving. I've been working on my own burrough, it's ready now."

"But you're just a child Shippo." Kaede sounded sad

"What about us?" InuYasha felt strangely hurt.

'Oh, well, thanks but No thanks."

InuYasha began to see red. "What do you fucking mean thanks but no thanks?! What about Kagome?"

Then, Shippo made a huge mistake.

"Who cares about that slutty fuckin' bitch?"

InuYasha stared at Shippo, shocked, and then hit him so hard he flew across the room. Shippo got to his feet and screamed at InuYasha

"Your just a fucking bastard half breed! Why would I want to live with you and your human bitch?"

He turned on his heel and ran out of the hut, not even crying. Kirara rose silently, brushed up against InuYasha and Kaede quickly, then followed after Shippo.

InuYasha got up to run after him, not sure at the moment if it was to knock some sense into the kitsune or just to knock him around some more.

"Let him go InuYasha." Kaede looked up at him, signaling with her eyes that he should sit back down.

"He…he….called Kagome a…" InuYasha couldn't make it add up in his head. "He called her…..and me….." He looked at Kaede

Kaede only nodded.

"I…what...…I don't understand this. Shippo worships the ground Kagome walks on; he has since about a second after they met. Kaede, what the hell is wrong with him?"

"Shippo is building a wall between himself and you and Kagome because he is afraid that you will die. He has lost both of his parents, now Miroku and Sango. It is only natural that now he fears losing you and Kagome."

"It's like Kagome, and the sake."

"Sake? What in the world do you mean InuYasha?"

InuYasha put his hands over his eyes, rubbing them, sighing deeply. He lifted his head and looked at Kaede.

Preview: Will Kagome break her promise to InuYasha? Will InuYasha kill Shippo and turn him into a rug? In the aftermath of a disasterous day, Kagome and InuYasha both concider huge changes. Chapter 9 Coming soon!

Translations

Saseko ------whore

Kutabare------ fuck you


	9. Chapter Nine Truthful Lies

Disclaimer: No, No, No, no InuYasha do I own. Yup, Yup, Yup, InuYasha Rumiko Takahashi do so own. This being the case, I am still open to that life-size Sesshomaru cut out, wait...a life-size anatomically correct mannequin might be even better. Wink Wink 

Notes: I just gotta send a SHOUT OUT to those who have left reviews, I love them, each and every one. Particularly the ones threatening my life if I don't update quickly!! LOL You guys rock! I was really REALLY unsure about the direction I was taking last time, so I am glad you enjoyed it. And on the Kutabare…yeah, its interesting what you can find when you uncheck the exact match box on a online language translator. Just remember, should you visit Japan and visit a street vendor, and get yourself beaten up by an irate Japanese lady, when you get the word Kutabare mixed up with a word for say some kind of fruit or something, you did not learn the language HERE from this FANFIC author! LOL Keep the reviews coming guys, I love them!! Each and everyone is ADORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!!

Okay, as for this update, no big news, no new words to translate..(hehe) This is the second half of what was suppose to be Chapter 8 that had to be cut cause the chapter got too long. I really struggled with what to with Kagome in regards to the sake. I didn't want to just wave a magic wand and make her problems with drinking go away, because I want to be realistic…but I also want to begin working towards InuYasha's nightmares and resolution and such. And, I confess, I wanted you all on the edge of your seats for a couple days...LOL Anyway, hope you enjoy how I handled it. And Yes, I definitely agree, Shippo needs a TIME OUT! But, remember, just as every good deed has its own rewards, every bad deed has its own consequences...

----Loss----

----Chapter Nine----

---Truthful Lies----

InuYasha approached the well, more than ready to return to the future and Kagome. He was grateful that Kagome hadn't been with him, hadn't heard the things Shippo had said. Seeing Kaede had been good. He knew she of all people would understand about Kagome's drinking, would confirm that he had done the right thing.

InuYasha remembered how he had once roamed the forest, fueled by anger and hate. His only desire to be a full demon. He'd had no one back then. No friends, no family, no love or kindness. His life was consumed by hate and anger. Then he met Kikyo, and she showed him the beauty of what could be. He knew happiness for the first time since haha-ue had died. InuYasha frowned, remembering how Naraku had torn them apart, stealing their future over his sick greed and love for hurting people. When he woke from his death Kagome had been there. His own beautiful tenshi, ready to take on the challenge of bringing his heart back from the hell Naraku had cast it into.

Soon after the little kitsune had joined, then Miroku. InuYasha laughed, remembering how Miroku had hit the nail on the head. He had been in love with Kagome by then. But Kikyo had just been revived, and the confusion and pain began. Still he seethed when the monk went near Kagome with his pleas for her to bear his child and his constant groping. InuYasha had secretly been extremely grateful when the demon slayer joined up with them. Miroku seemed to prefer her bottom to Kagome's and InuYasha was able to allow him to live. It wasn't long before his ire was shifted to stinking wolf. Forget the fact that Koga eventually became like a brother, just as Miroku had. InuYasha smiled, realizing for the first time he had been able to think about Miroku and Sango without the gut wrenching pain.

His smile faded when he got to the well and saw the angry blue crayon marks on the side of the well that Kaede had warned him about. Two characters, a male with dog ears and a female stood headless, heads in the process of flying off. Tessiaga was obviously the tool used to behead the man and woman.

Tessiaga was held by a kitsune.

------------------------------

InuYasha jumped out of the well in the future, stomped out of the well house and crossed the shrine grounds in a matter of seconds. He had cleaned up the well, once again thankful that Kagome hadn't been with him, the only thing that had kept him from cleaning off the well with Shippo's face was the fact that he was so angry he was sure he would have killed him.

He considered jumping up to Kagome's window. He was far from in the mood for conversation. But, in a few months, this would be his family too. Well, for all intense purposes, they had been for almost as long as he had known Kagome. He knew they cared about him. Hell, maybe Higurashi no haha-ue could help. Maybe she had some wise insight. He almost smiled, Higurashi no Sofu-ue may be the shrine priest, but Higurashi no haha-ue was the one with all the wisdom.

He opened the door, smelling something wonderful coming from the kitchen. There was always a wonderful smell in the Higurashi kitchen. He had really come to love being here, so much that it was more home to him than any place had ever been. What did he have back there? A tree? Here he had a warm bed and blankets, pillows and the woman he loved. He had family all around who cared about him. Why did he always want to drag Kagome away from here?

"InuYasha? is that you?" Mrs. Higurashi called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm…"

"Thank kami, there is a problem." She approached swiftly, wringing her hands in an obvious panic.

"Is Kagome hurt? Was there an accident or some..."

"Kagome seems to be missing. The school called looking for her. Kagome was not in any of her afternoon classes."

"She didn't come home or call on that talking box thing you gave her?" InuYasha felt the panic spread through him, it was like the night he had woken to find Kagome gone at the cabin, the night he found her and thought she was…

"No. And that is just not like my Kagome. I called her friend's Eri and Yuka and they would not even come to the phone!" Mrs. Higurashi was near tears, InuYasha patted her shoulder.

"Then I called Ayumi, and she told me. InuYasha, Kagome was right to be worried about talking going around school."

"I don't understand." He looked at her, fighting to make some sense out of all of this. His mind had stopped working properly after hearing Kagome was missing.

"Her schoolmates, they were horrible to her. But not just them, even some of the sensei. Ayumi said Kagome got into a fight with another girl at lunch and she was the only one who was blamed. After that, Kagome wasn't seen in school."

"Don't worry, I'll find her." InuYasha ran up the stairs to Kagome's room, grabbing his bandana to tie over his ears.

"InuYasha, Take this with you." Mrs. Higurashi handed him her cell phone. He looked at it as if it was from another planet, to him it was.

"Uh…"

"That's right, I'm sorry." She opened the phone and showed him how to use it. "If it rings, push this button and put your ear right here. I will call if, when, she comes home, if you aren't back yet."

InuYasha tried to be encouraged by her words, but she hadn't seen Kagome, passed out looking for all the world like she was dead. Hadn't held her while she was throwing up, still begging for more sake. She hadn't seen his nightmares.  
He nodded numbly, then turned and left, running in the direction of Kagome's school.

---------------------------

Shippo looked around one last time to be sure that the area was clear, and then slipped out of the high grass, running to the garden. As quick as he could he pulled up an armload of fresh vegetables, shoving them in his bag. He turned to run back into the high grass and his nose caught the smell of food cooking. Someone in the village had obviously had some luck hunting that day. It was a kindness the men in the village never neglected, to bring the elderly priestess a share of their bounty for her own evening meal, even though she always told them it wasn't necessary. Shippo salivated as the smell of roasting boar wafted over his nose. He turned and began to trudge back to his new home, miserable.

It didn't help to know that he could have been taking part in the meal; instead, he was set on a night in a dark hole, covered with sticks and grass. It had been his own choice. He could have backed out of course, but not now. Not after today, not after what he had said. Besides, he wouldn't have backed out if he could. Shippo reached up and rubbed the bump just over his right eye where InuYasha hit him.

Yeah, this was the good way to live. Nobody would be hitting him anymore.

"What's the matter InuYasha?" Shippo said, talking tough now that InuYasha was not just out of earshot, but not even in the same year. "Can't handle the truth?" He laughed, brushing the mud off a carrot and crunching into it.

"I've always been smarter than that dumbass, and he knows it. That's why he always had to show off. To impress HER."

He took another bite of the dirty carrot, wincing from the muddy taste. He tried to quickly drown the memory of cleaning vegetables at Kaedes with Kagome and Sango. It had always been their little "job" while InuYasha and Miroku would hunt for some kind of beast or fowl. But it was getting harder to make himself forget, but at the same time, it was starting to get hard to remember to hate her too.

A family, they were offering him a family, a home. Oh, he would give anything to accept! But, even if InuYasha could forgive him for today, he couldn't, wouldn't, take that chance. The risk was just too big.

Shippo threw the half-eaten carrot out of the hole and curled up against the cooling night, missing the warmth of sleeping in her arms.

--------------------------------------

InuYasha stood in the quiet park, looking down on an unconscious Kagome. He had been searching for over an hour, finally lead by her scent to this place where she lay, looking to be asleep curled up in a ball. An empty sake bottle on the ground next to her. The air reeked of the drink, and InuYasha didn't know if he could trust himself to be the one to wake her or not.

"Damn her! She promised!" he thought angrily to himself, picking up the empty bottle and smashing it against a tree. She had people at home who cared, who loved her and were just waiting to be there for her! How could she betray them like this?

Then he thought about what Higurashi no haha-ue had told him. They had been mean to her, made fun of her. Had it been enough to push her to this?  
He remembered his life when he lived with his mother's people. The taunts of half-breed, and fetch brat. Even his own "brother" Sesshomaru. It would have been enough to make him drink, but he had never thought of it to be honest.

But still, she had promised!

He was confused he didn't know what, or how to feel. He sat down on the ground next to her. He had to get her home, and then he would have to decide if he could…

The wind picked up and InuYasha noticed a strange shift in the air around him. He still smelled the sake heavy in the air, but he no longer smelled it near Kagome's head. He began to sniff closer and found the scent was nowhere near her mouth or upper body, only around her knees where the empty bottle had laid.

InuYasha lay back on the grass, breathing heavily, almost laughing to himself in relief.

"She didn't drink it. Kami, she didn't drink it!"

She may have gotten it, but the fact that she didn't drink it, that she had stopped herself.

Slowly he got on his knees and crawled over to her; he kissed her cheek, and then carefully shook her awake.

"Kagome?"

Kagome jerked a little bit, and then opened her eyes.

"InuYasha?" She looked around, dazed, then sat up He wrapped his other arms around her, pulling her close.

"I'm here"

"InuYasha!" She started sobbing and fell against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was shocked by the intensity.

"Kagome! What the hell…what happened to you today?" He tightened his arms around her, softly rubbing her back.

InuYasha felt himself going from anger to pain to disbelief and back again many time while Kagome told him what happened that morning. At one point Kagome had to make him promise not to go to school and beat people up. Finally, he just held her, stroking her hair while he told her how much he loved her.

"InuYasha?" She spoke haltingly, afraid to tell him the next part.

He kissed her "Tell me"

She pulled back, dreading the coming words, but knowing just the same that she had to say them. She looked away from him.

"After I left school, I went to the store, and I bought sake."

"But you didn't drink it, I know."

Kagome looked at him "You saw?"

"Yeah"

"After I bought it, I came here. I opened it. I wanted to…oh boy I really wanted to."

"But you didn't." She shook her head. InuYasha pulled her close against him again.  
"I'm proud of you."

"But, I wanted to so bad. Everything was so horrible and I felt so crummy. Then I remembered the phone, and I tried to call haha-ue, but my phone wouldn't connect here. I just sat her and cried for a long time, then something just I don't know, like told me, I was going to be okay, I was strong enough to handle this, it was okay for me to dump it out. So I did, and while I was doing it, I felt myself starting to feel a little stronger. Like maybe I was taking some control of my life back."

InuYasha backed off and looked down at her, smiling.

"Kagome, you never lost it. You just forgot you had it." He caressed her cheek with his thumb, then lowered his head to hers, brushing her lips with his. He laid his forehead against hers, so that their noses were touching.

"After that I just wanted to I don't know, calm down I guess, I was still so upset. I must have dozed off. I'm sorry."

"Kagome, at first, I thought…I thought you drank it. I was so angry. I saw you sleeping, and the empty bottle."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not okay! I'm so sorry."

"InuYasha, I have given you plenty of reason to think what you thought. It's okay"  
He pulled her close against him, whispering into her ear.

"I love you."

---------------

Late that night they lay together in the quiet of a sleeping house. Neither spoke, lost in their own thoughts as they held one another. Kagome moved closer, resting her cheek on his bare chest.

"InuYasha?"

"Yeah?" He threaded his fingers into her hair, resting his head on top of hers.

"What would you say if I told you I want to put off going back to your time for two months to focus myself full time on school?"

"Aren't you in school full-time now?"

"Yes, but this would be different. I wouldn't be going to classes. I would be doing the same work and exams, but I would be doing it on my own at home, and haha-ue would give me the exams"

"You wouldn't have to go back there or see those people who hurt you again?" He dropped his hand down to her back and pressed her closer to him.

"No, never."

"I say, I never want to see you hurt like that again."

Kagome pulled her hands around to his chest, slowly moving them up to his face to pull his head to hers. She met him with her lips parted, eagerly allowing his tongue entrance. InuYasha skimmed her hip with his palm, reaching the hem of her nightshirt and sliding his hand up the side of her leg while he rolled her over onto her back. He broke off the kiss, giving her a shallower kiss with a brush of his lips, then kissing her chin before trailing kisses down the side of her neck and over her chest.

Kagome moaned softly, her hands kneading the muscles in his back as she arched her own to meet his lips. InuYasha reached his hand inside her nightshirt, up to her stomach, over her torso and brushed his thumb over her breast.

The click of an opening door was heard in the hallway as Sota made a late night trip to the bathroom. InuYasha felt the equivalent of a bucket of cold water thrown on him as he jerked his hand back out of the nightshirt and around Kagome, pulling her close to his chest once again. He felt her laughing silently next him.

"Baka! It's not funny!"

He growled and let go of her, flipping onto his side away from her. Kagome cuddled up to his back, curling her legs up behind his, spooning them together.

She laughed into his ear "You're the one who ripped the door off the frame."

InuYasha growled again. "You better be fucking planning on moving the wedding up too."

Kagome lost it and laughed out loud.

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_InuYasha approached the well, waiting for Kagome to jump out. He was annoyed, she was late as usual. He rolled his eyes, deciding he was going after her. He put his hands on the side, preparing to jump in, when a smell brushed over his nose. Blood. Her blood. He looked down._

_  
Kagome lay there, her neck slashed, the well splashed with blood.  
Shippo stood next to her, laughing at him, holding Sango's dagger._

_"Kagome!"_

_"Kagome!!!!!!!"_

"InuYasha! Wake up," Kagome shook him, trying to wake him from the nightmare before his screaming woke the others.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Kagome?"

"You had a nightmare InuYasha, its ok." She reached her arms out and he went into them, pulling her close.

Kagome was back to sleep in minutes, InuYasha lay awake the rest of the night, thinking.

---  
The early sunlight had just begun to filter in through the window. InuYasha still lay awake, looking down at the one he held. She was so at peace, so calm, while he felt like a thunderstorm of fear was growing inside of him.

"Kagome…" He whispered, brushing his knuckles over her cheek, looking longingly at her, wishing he could be as at peace. "What would you say if I told you I never wanted to go back again?"

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Chapter 10 Preview:

Kagome and InuYasha make hard decisions for the future, Shippo discovers that life on your own is a lot more than just being free to do what you want when you want, Kagome returns to school to clean out her locker, with InuYasha by her side Drama Drama Drama! Guess who's in the hallway?  
Laterat home, Kagome has an apologetic visitor.


	10. Chapter Ten Saviors of the Arrowhead

Disclaimer: Surprise! I Know this update is a tad late, but I STILL haven't turned into Rumiko Takahashi, so I STILL don't own InuYasha. 

Notes: My darling, darling, readers!! How I LOVE reading your reviews!!! Keep em coming guys!!! I Love em so much I put together a MEGA UPDATE for you guys this week….YES almost 20 pages, almost 6000 words and a backache from typing on a crappy kitchen chair! So, more more more more more more more more more more more more more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAAAAAH! Kisses kisses! I SO Love those reviews, keep em coming!

Sorry it took me so long to update…been busy!

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Loss

Chapter Ten

Saviors of the Arrowhead

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InuYasha looked nervously from mother to daughter and back, wondering if he should offer an opinion.. Kagome picked at her breakfast, while Mrs. Higurashi only looked into her tea cup, her hands folded in her lap.  
InuYasha had finally just about decided to speak when Mrs. Higurashi finally broke her silence.  
"This is your senior year, you have waited so long for this"  
Kagome looked up, pushing her plate away from her, laying her chopsticks down quietly.  
"Mama"  
But Mrs. Higurashi wasn't finished.  
"What about all the special things you have been waiting for? Your senior day, Senior winter and spring formals? What about graduation itself"  
"I can still participate in graduation mama. The other things…do you really think I could enjoy them? Do you think they would ALLOW me to enjoy them"  
"Perhaps by then"  
Kagome looked at her sadly "You weren't there mama. Everyone treated me like a pariah"  
"But your sensei"  
She shook her head "Even some sensei, Mama."

"Kagome…surely something could be done, we could talk to Sato-sama…"

"Keh, that bastard" InuYasha snorted unable to hide his distain, then he blushed, realizing that he had sworn in front of Kagome's mother. He looked at her apologetically. "Uh, Sorry, Higurashi-mama"  
"Mama, Sato-sama was the worst." When they had returned the day before Kagome had only wanted to go lay down, so InuYasha had tucked her in and then told Mrs. Higurashi roughly what had happened. Now, Kagome began to tell Mrs. Higurashi the whole story of what had happened in detail. When she finished Mrs. Higurashi looked ready to swear herself.

"Kagome!" She took the hand that InuYasha wasn't holding. "I can hardly believe it. Eri, Yuka and Ayumi have been your best friends since your first day of primary school."

"That's probably why they wouldn't come to the phone when you called them yesterday." InuYasha grumbled "baka temee." He looked up again, realizing that once again he had cussed. Pretty soon Higurashi-mama would be washing his mouth out with soap the way she threatened to do to Sota-chan.  
"Sorry. Higurashi-mama"  
"InuYasha-kun" Mrs. Higurashi looked at him with a wink "We do not apologize for speaking the truth in this house." she squeezed Kagome's hand

Kagome looked up and smiled. "Not Ayumi mama. She stood with me, all morning." then she added under her breath "Unlike some"

"Well, InuYasha-kun is right" Mrs. Higurashi nodded her head "Those girls are baka temee."

"Higurashi-mama!" InuYasha was flabbergasted, his eyes huge. Kagome, who unfortunately had just taken a drink of water, spit it all over the table.

Mrs. Higurashi reached over to where InuYasha held Kagome's hand, patting them both. "You will soon be family InuYasha-kun, I think Mama will be appropriate from now on."

They both looked at her, smiling.

"Then you will approve home study and early completion Mama?" Kagome asked

"Tell me, does this mean you will also wish to move the wedding up as well?"

Kagome began to grin a little, biting her lip hard to keep from laughing, remembering InuYasha's comment from the night before after Sota interrupted them during a private moment.

"We haven't discussed it." InuYasha said, giving her a gentle, toe nudge under the table. "But I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Why not?" Kagome gave him a strange look, suddenly becoming sober, as if she was afraid he was changing his mind about them. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, smiling at her.

"You have your studies to worry about right now. I know you want a nice wedding, how can you plan a wedding and do your school work at the same time?"

"That's true enough." Kagome looked at him, knowing InuYasha as well as she did, she knew he was holding something back. "Spit it out InuYasha."

"Will you hear me out and not get mad?" He looked at her, worry creasing his forehead.

"When do I ever get mad?" She looked at him seriously.

"Keh! Should I just lay face down on the floor now?" He gaped at her

Mrs. Higurashi smiled, chuckling to herself. "I will make her behave InuYasha-kun."

"Thank you Mama" InuYasha looked over at Kagome, a smug grin on his face.

Kagome grinned a little, mumbling to herself "Kiss Up"

"Maybe she just likes me more." He teased

Kagome giggled a little. "Okay, Okay, I'll hear you out."

"Okay then." He started, still hesitating a bit "Kagome, I'm really proud of you, that you didn't drink yesterday, even though you had the chance. I'm really, happy… that you've found your strength again and stopped yourself. But, you still ALMOST drank."

Kagome's hand tensed under his, she chewed her lip as if she was trying to stop herself from crying.

"Now Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi broke in "I think he has a point. But, Like InuYasha-kun, I also am very proud that you didn't drink the sake." Mrs. Higurashi stopped and sighed deeply. "I realize that I was very harsh with you when I found out you were drinking, I was so shocked, you were the last person I ever thought would turn to…well, you have always been so strong and proud. Yesterday was a little stumble, but, you didn't fall."

"I didn't want to." Her voice was so sad, as if she was being sent to the corner. "I just…it hurt so much…it's hard to stay strong all the time."

"We understand that Kagome." Mrs. Higurashi said, squeezing her hand.

"Have you two been talking behind my back?" Kagome asked, a half smile on her face.

"Baka." InuYasha rolled his eyes "Of course we have." He was so matter of fact about the whole thing, Kagome forgot to be angry.

"You have been through so much Kagome. " InuYasha looked at her sadly, gently caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "The loss of Miroku and Sango, and you being the one to find her. I would give anything if I could change that."

"Then just as you were feeling better" Mrs. Higurashi added "Those horrible people at school mistreated you as they did. I just don't think you should put anymore on yourself right now. I'm worried about what could happen if you did.

InuYasha took a deep breath, clutching her hand so tightly that his claws jabbed almost painfully into her palm

"I don't want to lose you Kagome."

Kagome looked up into his face, As she suspected, his eyes were shiny, as if he were barely holding back tears. But she also saw something she had only seen in them once before, the night of his nightmare. Plain raw fear. It occurred to her then to wonder just how it was that InuYasha seemed to be taking all of this in his stride.

"Kagome" Mrs. Higurashi broke into her thoughts. "Mostly because I agree that you should not have to be subjected to that nonsense I will agree to the early completion. You will of course be staying home this whole time I hope?"

"Of course" Kagome smiled "I know there's no way I could do both. You will stay here with me right?" she looked at InuYasha, almost pleadingly.

"Keh" he sniffed at her, as if she had just asked the stupidest question in the world "What do you think? Baka." He looked across the table where Mrs. Higurashi sat trying to hide a grin at their antics.

"Unless of course, Higurashi-mama says…" she cut him off with a glare, an almost mirror image of Kagome's evil eye.

"InuYasha-kun…what did I tell you?" she looked him dead center in the eye.

He grinned, more of a smirk really. "Sorry, I forgot. Unless Mama, would prefer that I not"

"I would be delighted for you to stay InuYasha-kun." Then seeing how absolutely delighted Kagome and InuYasha were at her answer, a devilish gleam came into Mrs. Higurashi's eye. "However, we should conceder separate bedrooms"

"Mama…" Kagome began

"You no longer trust me Higurashi-mama?" InuYasha's face fell

At the look of dismay on both faces, Mrs. Higurashi could no longer hold in her chuckle. Since she was fifteen Kagome and InuYasha had slept in the same room, usually sharing Kagome's bed. Why should now be any different?

"InuYasha-kun" she smiled, patting InuYasha's hand again before rising to begin clearing the table. "Of course I trust you."

"I only ask, that you do not move the wedding plans up."

InuYasha looked at Kagome. She smiled, nodding slightly.

"Spring time it is then"

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Shippo slipped through the high grass, his nose high in the air to catch any predatory scents. In the old days he had never had to look out for his own safety, it was almost like he'd had two mama's and two papa's, and of course Kirara had always looked out for him too. Poor Kirara. Two days before he left the village, Shippo had caught her tailing him again. And what had he done? He had kicked at her, then picked up a big rock and thrown it at her. It didn't matter that it hadn't even come close to hitting her. He had still thrown it. Shippo shook his head at his behavior. What was wrong with him? He was turning into a real bastard.

And when InuYasha had come to visit, he had called Kagome…

Shippo shook his head, unable to bear the pictures that kept coming into his head, the pictures of what he was becoming. But it was better than the alternative.  
Shippo picked up a familiar smell. Kagome…? Her bath washing soap anyway, the rest was all dog. Dog and …wolf? Wolf? What the hell was Koga doing near the village? Shippo ran fast through the high grass until he came to the edge of a clearing. Sure enough it was InuYasha and Koga. InuYasha had Tessiaga drawn and transformed, swinging it around loosely, as if loosening his muscles.

"Damn mutt-face" Koga was laughing "You sure you remember how to swing that thing?"

InuYasha grinned "I remember well enough to skin your wimpy hide clean off your body wolf shit, so don't get cocky. Baka!"

"I'm just thinking of you mutt. You screw up and kill me or something you'll end up with my mate after your ass, and trust me, you DON'T want my mate after your ass!" Koga grinned

"Keh, Ayame don't scare me. Baka!"

Koga rolled his eyes. "Spoken like a baka who's never seen a pregnant wolf-yokai before." Koga laughed

InuYasha laughed from deep within, a full-hearted laugh. Shippo hadn't heard him laugh like that in a long time.

"He must be really happy in her time." Shippo thought "Maybe they won't even come back" he felt a sudden stab of sadness, realizing maybe they didn't feel like they had any reason to return.

"What if InuYasha decides to just forget about Naraku?" Shippo whispered.

"Kongooooooooooooooosouhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Shippo looked up to Koga laying flat on the ground, InuYasha shooting adamant from Tessiaga into the hillside.

"KUSO!! Koga yelled out, laughing hard "That's one hell of an ass kicking attack you got there mutt." He rolled over onto his back, laughing like a lunatic. InuYasha walked over to the wall, pulled out a adamant spear, then went to where Koga lay laughing and plopped onto the ground. He sat cross legged. Koga sat up and took the spear from InuYasha, holding the glittering object up into the sunlight to inspect it.

Their laughter rang out in the late morning air, careless and free. InuYasha didn't even seem like he had picked up Shippo's smell. Shippo realized suddenly that for once he wasn't sensing a presence behind him. Then he realized why, Kirara had gone out to stand beside InuYasha.

He turned around to go to raid Kaede's garden as had become his habit while she took her morning meditation. Shippo pushed through the brush and found a bundle waiting for him.

"What the hell?" he sniffed, it smelled wonderful. It smelled of bread, and game, cooked vegetables. Had Kaede left it for him? He stepped closer, finding his small pillow and blanket that Kagome had brought him. His pride surged to the surface…he didn't need handouts, he could take care of himself. Shippo turned empty handed and stomped back into the grass. A moment later he cleared the grass again, latched onto the bundle and ran back into the grass, making sure that no one had seen him.

Deep melancholy fell over him. How he missed them. How he missed her. His Kagome. In his heart she was okaa-chan. But he couldn't let her be.  
Shippo crawled into his small borough, laid his blanket out flat, then lay down, folding it over him so it looked like a sleeping bag. He tucked his soft pillow under his head, breathing deeply. Oh! How much of her smell still lingered on the cloth! But not just hers, but everyone's. InuYasha's, Sango's even Miroku's. They all took turns carrying him as he jumped from back to back, heading down strange roads to some new unknown village, a new adventure.  
Yeah, he did miss them. But if he let himself care about them, when they died, he would be hurt again. He would be alone again.

"But your alone right now anyway Shippo! " His common sense screamed out to him. But he had to stay away. Had to keep hating them. Had to hate her.

"But damn" Shippo sighed deeply "I sure am lonely."

He sat up, separating the sticks that covered the top of the borough. Like usual, he saw them right away. The white ears sticking up in the air, no matter how she tried to hide them.

"Kirara." Slowly Kirara came forward from her hiding place.

"It's okay, I'm not mad." Shippo said, giving the two tail a small smile. Kirara came closer, rubbing her soft fur across Shippo's cheek.

"I think I need a roommate Kirara." He picked her up, laying her on the blanket on his lap, petting her. "What do you say?"

Shippo reached for the bundle, taking his cue, Kirara moved down closer to his feet, purring contentedly.

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InuYasha ran towards the well, knowing Kagome had to be wondering where he had run off to. She wouldn't believe him when he told her that he had spent a good part of the late morning sitting on a rock, watching Koga go about his business, absorbed in conversation. That's why he carried the purple iris. A token from Koga's mate. He would have to hurry, he hadn't planned on being gone nearly this long, just long enough to give Tessiaga a good working out. He hadn't used it in months, and he was forbidden to use it around the shrine. Since the day he had almost blown up the strange bird. Right away he had picked up Koga's scent close to the village. They hadn't seen him in months, not since Koga had almost been absorbed and his shards taken. InuYasha knew Kagome would appreciate hearing how Koga was doing, and he was curious himself.

He had been pretty out of it when they had parted ways, having just lost Kikyo. But he would never forget Koga leaning in to him, so no one else could hear to give him encouragement.

Flashback

Kikyo was gone, at that moment InuYasha longed for nothing more than to be run through so he could join her. He was still watching the souls drift away into the late night sky when Koga had approached him.

"InuYasha. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for her." even in his sadness InuYasha had been surprised at Koga's use of his own name. Still InuYasha could only nod, and whisper a thank you.

Koga's next words would later save InuYasha's life.

"I know it hurts right now, and that's okay. But, What happened isn't your fault. You need to forgive yourself and let her go. That's what Kikyo wanted I bet."

InuYasha nodded, sighing deeply.

"Don't be stupid InuYasha. You'll lose something that is far more precious than any jewel shard." He cleared his throat, pointedly looking at Kagome. She sat alone, head on her knees, still crying. "You'll lose something more precious than that whole fucking jewel."

InuYasha hadn't been able to process it all then, he was numb, lost and confused. Wallowing in his own blame and guilt. And it almost got him killed by a pain sucking weed.

Then he had heard Kagome's voice, mixing with Koga's words, "Don't be stupid InuYasha. You'll lose something that is far more precious than any jewel shard. You'll lose something more precious than that whole fucking jewel" Then it all made sense, her face filled his senses, Giving him the strength to fight back.

End Flashback

He owed that damn scrawny wolf his life. InuYasha smirked, reaching the well. "I hope I never have a need to pay him back." He held the iris tightly in his sleeve and jumped into the well.

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Kagome and InuYasha held hands as they approached the building. The school had agreed to allowing Kagome to home school in the early completion program. InuYasha had just returned from the well with the purple Iris from Ayame, he and Kagome had rather enjoyed hearing Mrs. Higurashi tell Sato-sama off…

Flashback

"I uh, agree, this might be best, for uh, all involved, however, we can not give Higurashi special treatment because of her uh, uh ah mental prob uh, mental problems. And she will also uh have to be docked three assignments ah for the detention periods she um did not complete, and another um two for uh the day of um suspension she uh earned for ah skipping classes the mm afternoon before."

"Kagome-chan should not be docked any points, those girls started that fight, Kagome-chan only stood up for herself."

"Perhaps, perhaps not, however Higurashi is the uh one who ah got physical and uh assaulted another uh student, used uh disgusting mm profanity and made a uh horrible mess in the ah lunch room. Also, Skipping classing will not mm be uh ignored."

"Kagome wasn't skipping. She had my permission to leave." Kagome's eyes went huge. She didn't think she had ever heard mama out right lie before.

"There are also uh rumor's that Higurashi has drug's on school uh property. We will be searching her locker and filing charges if it is appropriate. "

Mrs. Higurashi went ballistic. "Oh! You!! Kuso baka! Kagome will be there to clean out her locker. I warn you to not give her any of the kuso you have just given me. The rest I will take up with the school board!"

"Certainly, she may uh come anytime during um school hours. I must say Higurashi-san, it is little wonder uh Higurashi has uh mental problems if that is uh the…"

"KUTABARE!!" Mrs. Higurashi slammed the phone in disgust, leaving an extremely shocked looking Kagome and InuYasha, sitting open mouthed.

Mrs. Higurashi sat straight lipped, fuming. InuYasha realized where Kagome got her temper from. Kutabare! Mama had actually said Kutabare! A mischievous look came into his eye.

"Mama…"He said, looking at her sternly, trying to copy the tough look she used on Sota. "You will clean up your mouth or will I get the dish soap?"

Kagome smiled, elbowing him. Mrs. Higurashi glared at him for a minute, then started laughing at him, playful tugging his ear.

"My daughter would have to chose to marry a smart mouth!"

End Flashback

Kagome pulled the locker door open, grateful that she never kept much in her locker. InuYasha was enjoying this little glimpse into this part of Kagomes world. He knew her at home, in his time, but he had never known her here.

She picked up a small box to show him when she heard a voice behind them.

"Higurashi-chan?" They both turned, wary of who it might be.

Kagome smiled. "Hi Hojo-kun" She heard a low growl next to her and she gave him a slight elbow, warning him to be nice.

"Hojo-kun, This is InuYasha, my fiancé' "

Hojo bowed and smiled, he had heard Kagome was engaged, he was genuinely happy for her. InuYasha was surprised by his manner. He had been well aware this boy had a crush on Kagome, yet he was extremely gracious.

InuYasha bowed in return. "You are Kagome's friend who has helped her with things to feel better?"

"Yes, though I don't feel like a very good friend now. Higurashi, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry that I was absent on Monday when everything was so bad for you here. Ayumi was really upset, it sounds like you could have used another friend."

Kagome touched his arm, hearing a tiny growl from InuYasha "Thank you Hojo, that is very kind of you." She smiled, the one she saves for special people.

Hojo looked around a little, then lowered his voice. "I know this will be hard to believe Higurashi-chan, but I understand exactly what you have been going through. I have problems with depression too."

"You have?" Kagome was surprised. Hojo was the happy, perky type, she had never once seen him sad or looking blue.

"I know, it doesn't seem possible does it." he laughed a little "You might remember I was away for a long time in eighth grade. Everybody thought that I had gone to stay with my grandparents because their health was bad. That was true enough, but the whole truth was my youngest brother had just died after a lifelong illness."

Kagome touched his arm again, this time she heard no growl from InuYasha.

"Were sorry to hear that." Inuyasha looked at the boy, serious empathy on his face. "We just lost two good friends a few months ago, they were like family. I know it's not the same, but…"

"Thank you, I'm sorry for yours as well. Ayumi had told me your sad news. I hope you won't mind Kagome, but, Ayumi knows of my depression, and she told me of yours. She was very worried about you, and only wanted to help, not to gossip."

"It's okay Hojo. I know your talking was out of friendship, unlike other people who called themselves friends."

"You mean Eri and Yuka."

Kagome nodded

"You know Kagome, my Jii-chan is a very wise man, and he says The wise man learns the first time he sees a crocodiles jaws and teeth clamp shut on its victim, the crocodile is not a fit partner for swimming. After that however, that If a crocodile eats a man, it is not the crocodiles fault, but the man's. For being a baka kuso and swimming with a crocodile."

Kagome and InuYasha laughed, Kagome the hardest…she had never once heard Hojo be so direct and blunt in all the years she had known him. This side of him was very likable.

"Well," Hojo went on "I'll let you figure out the meaning of that, it's not exactly hard. I wanted to suggest to you, if you still have problems once the situation is better"  
He handed her a business card with a doctors name and number "Don't be afraid to talk to someone about medication. I take a tiny amount of medication everyday, and it makes a world of difference. I also brought you this." He handed her a small plastic bag with two tea bags and instructions inside.

"This is an herbal tea that also helps me to relax and lifts symptoms. And if it is okay with InuYasha, if you need to talk, or have questions, please call me anytime."

"Of course." InuYasha smiled "Thank you."

"Hojo…thank you so much." Kagome looked like she wanted to hug him, InuYasha was totally disgusted by the idea of someone else touching Kagome, but he reluctantly gave her a tiny nudge with his foot, letting her know it was okay. She put the tea in the box that she held and handed it to InuYasha to hold for her, then she hugged him, uttering undying thanks in his ear.

After Hojo left them InuYasha put his arm around Kagome, happy to see her genuinely smiling again. They turned and walked back to her locker, only to be interrupted again.

"Higurashi, before you can um leave we need to check for uh drugs."

Kagome closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"And you were told to stay away from her." InuYasha snarled at the man, stepping in front of Kagome, purely on instinct.

Two security guards came down the hallway.

"You are not uh a student here. You are in this building illegally."

"He's with me." Kagome started stuffing things in her box as fast as she could grab them. Sato picked up the little plastic bag with the tea bags. He wiggled a finger to the security guards.

"This uh look's like um marijuana to me."

"That's tea dumbass" InuYasha took a step toward the man again, ready to shove an iron reaver down his throat. "The bag's give it away." He snatched the bag away and dropped it back in Kagome's box. The security guards did nothing to remove it again.

"Mhhm" Sato said, grabbing the small box Kagome had been about to show InuYasha just before HoJo had come. "And what is this"  
"Sato-sama, there is no need…" One of the guards began, only to be cut off when Sato opened the box and held up and arrow head.

"A weapon!"

"Give me that!" Kagome yelled, making a grab for the box that Jii-chan had carefully affixed the 500 year old arrow head too with fine pieces of wire.

Sato jerked it away. "This is uh Illegal on school ground Higurashi. It will be confiscated immediately."

"It's not a weapon damn it! Give it to me!" Kagome made a grab for it again

"Give it to her you bastard." InuYasha was beginning to crack his knuckles

"Why do you have an arrowhead in your locker young lady?" One of the guards asked her

Kagome was still trying to get the box and InuYasha was regretting that he hadn't brought Tessiaga. He would show that son of a bitch a weapon.

"I brought it as part of a history report. Please give it back!"

"Higurashi a weapon is uh a weapon"

"Sato-sama" one of the guards said "Look at how it is packaged. Obviously it is some kind of heirloom. Return it to Higurashi-san."

The other guard nodded his agreement.

Kagome stopped fighting for a minute, tears running down her cheeks. "Okay, you hate me , fine whatever, say what you want. Just give it back. "Please give it to me. It's five hundred years old, I dug it out of the ancient Goshinboku on our shrine, one day when it was snowing very hard."

InuYasha's eyes opened wide, understanding completely why she was so upset. The day they had connected through the tree, when he finally told her that he needed her at his side. She had dug the arrowhead out of the Goshinboku to get back to the feudal era, because the well had been filled with roots. If not for that arrowhead, they would have likely never seen one another again

"The rules are uh clear, no mm weapons on uh school…"

InuYasha' d had enough

InuYasha got right into Sato's face "Give her the arrowhead and shut the fuck up Baka temee! What's your problem ? Does it make you feel like a man, tormenting innocent sweet girls like Kagome? Is that how you get your rocks off? What are you gonna do next? Go sit in your office and jerk your dick under your desk while you got some other innocent girl sitting in there that your tormenting? That how a big man like you gets his nuts off?

Sato began to stutter and turn red. "Y-y-y-you gettt off school property rrrright uh uh now."

InuYasha got into Sato's face, sticking his chest out. "Fucking make me you piece of shit."

"Gggget them out of uh heeere." he stammered to the guards, turning to go to his office, then dropped Kagome's arrowhead roughly on the floor.

Kagome's eyes closed in disbelief for a second, then she dropped the packing box and knelt down, picking the arrowhead up. She opened the small box, finding the arrowhead broken in several small pieces. She dropped the broken arrowhead on the floor, then ran down the hallway and out of the school.

InuYasha quickly caught up to her, he wrapped his arms as tight around her as he could while still allowing her to breathe, promising her she would never face that bastard again. He swore to himself that anyone else who was going to hurt her would have to go through him, and they wouldn't live long after they tried. He thought again about Shippo. No, he couldn't ever bring himself to kill the kitsune, obviously. But he would do everything in his power to keep him from hurting Kagome. Even if it meant never going back through the well.

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Kagome and InuYasha sat on the floor in her room, quietly cuddling and sharing memories of the past few years in the feudal era. Halfway through a memory of a Sango beating Miroku up for butt grabbing memory, Sota ran up the stairs, stuck his head in and tossed InuYasha a black bandana

"Nee-chan, Inu-chan…there is company at the door for you."

"Who the hell would want to see me? Who even knows me here?"

Kagome shrugged "Maybe Sato came for round two." She giggled a little.

InuYasha wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind.

"I'll give him round two, Kaze no Kizu right between his eyes."

Kagome reached up and put her hands on his arms as they worked their way down the stairs. She turned her head to bat her eyelashes at him

"My hero"

He stopped her and kissed her quickly, looking at her earnestly.

"Don't ever forget it either."

At the bottom of the stairs were two men neither of them recognized.

"Do we know you?" InuYasha asked, puzzled.

"Sorry, you probably don't recognize us out of uniform. We were the security guards at the school today."

"Oh, of course." Kagome said sadly "What can we do for you?"

"First, you left your locker open. I hope you don't mind, we finished cleaning your locker out and brought your things so you wont have to return to the school."

"Arigato domo" Kagome gave them a small smile, grateful for the kindness. She had been worried about having to return.

"Also" The other man began, taking a small box out of the bigger box "I have an uncle who is a professor of archeology. He has access to special restoration items, such as bonding agents. It of course, isn't perfect…but…"

Kagome opened the box to find that her arrowhead had been restored to almost perfect condition

"Oh my…" Kagome's eyes went huge, smiling an ear to ear toothpaste ad smile "InuYasha, Look. They….its fixed."

InuYasha looked over her shoulder, then smiled at the two men. "Thanks hardly even seems to cover it. It means more than you can imagine to her. To both of us. If we can ever help you in anyway…"

The first and younger of the two men spoke again.

"Don't get the wrong idea. We did this because we felt it was the right thing to do. Sato is a horses ass, and we should have stopped him before he broke your heirloom. For that, I apologize. That being said, there is something we could use your help with."

"Name it!" Kagome grinned, rubbing her fingers over the arrowhead.

The second man spoke again, looking at InuYasha "Your assessment of Sato isn't that far off..."

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Chapter 11 Preview: The plot thickens! What is the deal with Sato? Kagome and InuYasha are asked to do something that will majorly increase the stress on Kagome. Can InuYasha really handle Kagome having an understanding shoulder in Hojo? Shippo seems to be finally softening a little…will it last? Is Kaede leaving him the baskets or a mystery person?

And …InuYasha has a huge surprise for Kagome!


	11. Chapter Eleven Undercover of Snow

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, that pleasure belongs to the amazingly talented and imaginative Rumiko Takahashi. Who would probably kick my ass if she read when I am doing to her characters in this fiction. lol 

Notes:I forgot to mention in my last chapter that instead of using the complicated Japanese terms for names I am going to go to the simpler Mama, Gramps, Nee-chan, Inu-chan etc…It was getting to be a headache and confusing for readers not familiar with Japanese titles. So, expect a much simpler read. I've noticed a fall in reviews lately, weather that is because I have gotten obnoxious and demanding in regards to reviews or my story has begun to stink-o I don't know. I've always said I value the rough review as much as the good review, how else does one learn? So, if you've become bored or dont like something, please let me know. If you use to review and then quit for some reason, let me know!

I also realized the other day that I started to write a story dealing with the tragedy of the loss of someone dear to you…and then I was off track. Since I cant just jump back, This chapter is my leaping step towards getting back on track.

In regards to this chapter. **I want to send out a warning. It is fairly graphic**. I used the Japanese, and in the most graphic part, I am not going to provide the translations for the sex acts. If you really must know, find a translator. The point I was trying to make comes across without knowing exactly what the words mean. **You will likely find this shocking** and wonder what the hell I am doing, but, trust me, **it does have a point as you will see in Chapter 12**, which, once again was suppose to be part of Chapter 11, but, once again I had diarrhea of the keyboard. I will work on chapter 12 tonight and possibly have it up tomorrow or maybe even tonight still. Some words are translated, you will find them at the bottom.

**I hope no one is offended.**

**WARNING: EXTREMELY HARSH LANGUAGE!! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY PROFANE FEMINE SLURS OR IMAGES OF SEXUAL MISTREATMENT!!**

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**Loss**

** Chapter Eleven **

**Undercover of Snow**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

Kagome sat staring out the window at the first snowflakes of what promised to be the first major snowfall of the season. The door behind her opened, someone entered, and then the door clicked shut again. She didn't turn, she didn't need to, she knew who it was.

Flashback:

a month earlier

"I don't understand, what exactly is it they want you to do?" Mrs. Higurashi stared at Kagome from across the table.

"It doesn't matter" InuYasha bit out "Because she isn't going to do it."

"InuYasha, please…stop it." Kagome looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Kagome," he looked at her, pleading himself, trying to make her see his fear without having to admit it out loud. "Damn it, I said no, now that's the end of it." InuYasha got up and stomped up the stairs. Kagome immediately got up to follow him.

"Kagome, give InuYasha time to cool off. Now tell me what is going on." Mrs. Higurashi looked at her, warning not to beat around the bush.

"Mama, the men who were here were security guards from school, but, they aren't really security guards. They are undercover detectives."

"Detectives? What do detectives want with you Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi's face was creased with worry.

"It's Sato. They believe he has been abusing students but they don't have enough proof, that's where I come in. They want me to wear a wire and meet with him one more time after school hours, when he will feel much freer."

"And why does this upset InuYasha so much if he is going to be there with you?" she looked at her skeptically, becoming more skeptical the more Kagome hesitated to answer.

"Kagome! Answer your Mama, right now."

"Because he isn't going to be there with Me." she said it quietly

"I don't understand, if they just want you to get him to say bad things to you then why can't…"

Kagome looked away from the table, biting her lip and giving the rest of the story away.

"Kagome! Absolutely not! That…that…you will not give him one single chance to lay a finger on you!"

"But, mama…"Kagome looked at her, her eyes pleading.

"But mama my foot! No! No! Kagome! No wonder InuYasha is so angry!" she gestured heavily with her hands, flinging her arms around in wide arcs.

"Mama, how can I not? Am I supposed to walk away and wait to hear he hurt someone else? He already hurt five girls from his old school, but no one has been able to prove anything."

"What if you get hurt?"

"I won't Mama; the detectives will be in the building waiting to arrest him as soon as he comes near me." She reached over and took her mothers hand, trying to reassure her.

"What about InuYasha? He would be there too of course." She looked at Kagome, not at all liking the way Kagome appeared to be hesitating.

"Actually no. You know InuYasha Mama, how over protective he is. He would be waiting in the van outside with the other officers."

"I don't like this Kagome. But I suppose I must allow it. But, only if you can convince InuYasha. If he says no, I will not go against his judgment."

Kagome nodded, and then she rose and went upstairs to do the most difficult thing ever. Convincing InuYasha.

-----------

She found him sitting on the roof outside her bedroom window. Carefully she climbed out and sat down next to him. He turned his head away from her.

"She didn't talk any sense into you either did she?"

"No." she said quietly, shivering in the cool night air. "She said I have to convince you."

"Keh…"

InuYasha untied his hoari, shrugged out of it and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Don't hold your breath Kagome."

"InuYasha" Kagome reached down and took his hand in hers and pulled it into her lap, linking their fingers. "Please hear me out."

He tightened his fingers on hers, and then slowly nodded.

"When I was drinking, the more often I drank the easier it got for me to do it again, and I wanted to do it more. I thought it was making me stronger, but really, I was getting weaker, losing myself to it. And the sake was like, getting stronger, because it was taking control of me. That day at the park, when I almost drank but didn't? I found my strength again. This is kind of like that."

"How?" He asked softly, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Kagome rested her head on his shoulder.

"Right now, Sato is strong because he is in control. No one can stop him and he's getting worse. He's going to keep getting worse and stronger until someone stops him. Someone has to stop him InuYasha. Before he really, really hurts someone."

"I understand." He kissed her forehead. "But, I don't like that I can't be in the building."

"There will be two detectives right next door, and you will be right outside with the others. It will be okay. I promise"

"This is really that important to you?" She nodded. He looked at her "Why?"

"It's like pouring out the sake I guess. I need to find my strength again."

"Okay." He sighed, resigning himself, but not liking it one little bit. "Okay, you win."

End Flashback

Now she sat, even her toes were shaking in fear. The wires ran under her arms and were taped to her chest and back, fearing she would sweat and short out the microphone, forcing her to do this all over again.

Sato seeming to linger directly behind her chair, as if he were contemplating putting his hands around her throat. Kagome looked down to see that the front of her blouse gaped open widely over her breasts. The wires were safely tucked under her bra straps, but Sato had a perfect view of her breasts. Kagome was dressed as she typically dressed for night time outings, slightly more on the risqué side, just as the detectives had told her to. But not enough to make it look obvious. They wanted her to tempt him to the point where he would risks, hopefully getting sloppy in the process. Kagome felt a sharp shiver shoot up her spine at his staring, and she straightened her back, ramrod straight, so her blouse rested against her skin once again. Sato cleared his throat and moved from behind her, taking his seat behind his desk. Kagome stopped biting her bottom lip and forced a small smile onto her face.

"Sato-sama…I…"

"Ah, uh…Sama?" He raised an eyebrow at her, mocking her return to using the proper title for his station. He laughed at her.

"Just tell me uh what you want Higurashi-wareme, then get out"

Kagome gasped at the profane title he attached to her name. Sato raised an eyebrow.

"A problem?" He grinned at her, a sick twisted look that made Kagome wonder how he could have ever been hired as an educator.  
She gathered herself quickly, forcing herself to think of it like battling a demon. She had to keep her cool and go forward. She only wished she had her bows and arrows.

"I…I came here Sato-sama because I was hoping to clear the air. Things got out of hand fast the other day, and I just…I don't want to leave here with bad feelings for anyone." She forced herself to smile. Only remembering InuYasha was outside waiting in a van gave her the strength to go on.

"I see." Sato said, pushing away from his desk slightly, his hands seemed to be fluttering in his lap; Kagome realized what he was doing and wanted to be sick. Worse, she knew that Sato knew that she knew, he wanted her to know. "So now you wish to make nice." He stood coming towards the front of his desk. Kagome had to swallow a gasp, realizing that he was fully erect.

Sato stood in front of his desk, only about two feet away from where Kagome sat. She wondered if it was her imagination or if he was deliberately thrusting his pelvis out, trying to close the distance.

"In other words, uh, Kagome-wareme…"He said, grinning and forcing the familiarity with the same disgusting profanity "You want me to forgive and forget, make nice."

Kagome forced herself to look up at his face. "I don't like having people angry with me Sato-sama. I don't like to be angry with people"  
Sato threw his head back and laughed loudly. "You got the papers today didn't you? That's why the sudden plea for civility."

"Papers?" Kagome was puzzled; she knew nothing of any papers.

"Expulsion papers."

"What?" Kagome felt her anger rise "You…you are planning to…"

"Expel you, yes." His hands moved downward in his pockets.

"On what grounds?"

"Violating school policies on having weapons on the campus, fighting, flagrant history of truancy, suspected drug use…shall I go on?"

"But, you,…you agreed to allow me to finish at home."

"That was before." he smirked, a man very obviously enjoying what he was doing

"You have to…"

Sato walked around to behind Kagome, putting his hands on her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing against the bare skin where her collar met her skin. He bent down, close to her ear, his voice soft and almost a whisper.

"I don't have to do anything little yariman."

Kagome wanted to be sick; his hands made her feel like she was covered in disgusting slime. She had long tired of the filthy names.  
"Please, don't call me those names." Kagome pretended his touch wasn't making her stomach turn.

"Why?" His voice was getting strange now, like he was off somewhere else "Tell me yariman, if I cancel the papers, what's in it for me?" His fingers moved lower while his lips moved close enough that Kagome could feel his breath on her ear.

" I,…I,…I don't understand what you mean." Kagome clenched her teeth, wondering how much more of this she would have to endure. InuYasha was listening in out in the van, he wouldn't listen to much more of this.

He put two fingers in the cleavage between her breasts, moving his fingers repeatedly over her skin.

"What will you do for me my little yariman? Will you do for me the things you do for your gangster boyfriend? Will you give me kounai seikou? I would enjoy paizuri; they are very lovely and firm. Will you let me perform danshoku? Fakku? You must give me o-gazumu many, many, times before I would even conceder it."

He slid a finger inside her bra "Right now, on my desk, lie down and allow me paizuri." Kagome felt his breath on her neck; his fingers went to the buttons on her blouse, while the other hand squeezed her breast painfully.

"No!" Kagome pulled away from him "Stop! Get your filthy hands off me." She pulled her arm back and slapped him as the detectives busted into the room. The older one pulled Sato away from Kagome, quickly slapping cuffs on his wrists.

"Your under arrest you sick son of a bitch" The detective pulled him out of the room and down the hallway while the younger one talked to Kagome, making sure she was okay.  
He took her arm and led her down the hallway to the room where they had set up the recording equipment to remove the wires.

"Are you sure your okay Higurashi-sama?" He asked, carefully removing the tape from under her arm.

"Yes." She managed to work up a half smile "Beside, we got him right?" Kagome felt relief washing over her, glad to be relieved of the wires and heavy layer of the jacket.

"Absolutely right," a strange voice said behind her.

Kagome turned, her eyes blinking in disbelief.

Sato now stood in the doorway, his voice no longer matching his body. Kagome gasped as his shape shifted. He stood extremely tall; he had to be close to seven and a half feet. His eyes and eyebrows were almost the same shape, merely slashes across the upper part of his head, a cold, frozen, icy blue-green.

His hair was a very pale shade of green, quite long, reaching to the back of his knees. He wore it in a bun of sorts, the kind worn by male warriors.

Before Kagome could say a word the two detectives that she had so trusted, shifted also, both looking nearly identical to the elder demon except their coloring was icy lilac and they were much smaller in stature, only about six and feet tall.

"Miko, it is indeed a pleasure to finally meet the protector of the Shikon no Tama." The demon bowed to her mockingly as she felt her arms jerked behind her as she was pushed down into a chair, arms handcuffed behind her. A heavy black bag was put over her hands and tied. "The bag is magical; it will prevent you from using any of those nasty miko powers we demons have disliked for so long. Allow me proper introductions. My friends, Rekcuf-gibeno, and Dratsab-gibeno, as you see, they are brothers. And I little yariman, am Sinepon.

"You were pretending to be Sato-sama all along." Kagome glared at the demon.

"Of course, I had to find some way to get near you." he smirked at her. "Convincing wasn't I?"

"Where is the real Sato-sama?" she glared at him, her mind scrambling for some kind of solution.

"Calm down yariman." He smirked, still using the degrading names he had as Sato. He snapped his fingers and a form began to materialize. Sato-sama was in a state of suspended animation, bound to the far wall in the conference room with some kind of purple fiber netting, then covered with invisibility charms.

Kagome was relieved to know that these were modern day demons. The invisibility charms hadn't been fashioned until the middle 1700's to protect hanyou from the rising and irrational fear of most of them. Thinking of the past made her think of another who seemed to be missing.

"Where's InuYasha?" She glared

Rekcuf-gibeno took the shape of a uniformed policeman.

"I would imagine he is still sleeping Higurashi-san. At least he was when I dumped him along side the road seventy-five miles from here."

"You didn't!" laughed Dratsab-gibeno

"Of course I did. Have you seen how sharp that ass's claws are?" He laughed, earning a laugh from Sinepon.

"Why…" Kagome asked, her eyes glowing with rage. "Why are you doing this?"

"I want the Shikon no Tama."

"I don't have it."

"Please, you know you can get it. Surely you know how well known you are in the demon underground?"

"The …what?"

"I do not believe your demon has not told you. Perhaps you should be checking his motives yariman." Kagome wanted to spit at him, hearing the slur again. She knew she had nothing to be concerned about, InuYasha didn't know about any underground.

"A couple hundred years ago, you humans began polluting the population, mating with demons making hanyou more common until they were more the norm than full demons. The great lords ordered all full demons into a secret society, hiding ourselves from humans underground until we increased our numbers, gaining strength to take our land back, destroying you humans once and for all.

"Only one piece is missing, one piece to make our leader stronger, formidable. But where this piece was a mystery, all that was known was the prophecy of a miko born here in InuYasha's forest, with the Shikon no Tama within her body, five hundred years from the day it was taken out."

Kagome couldn't believe her ears. A secret society? Demons planning on taking over Japan, destroying humans? It was too much too fast, she couldn't comprehend it all. She tried to close off her mind, setting her focus on InuYasha. She had been able to send small bits of her spirit to him before, but she had known where he was then. He hadn't been so far away.

"I have been watching you for a long time yariman. Since I crossed paths with you by happenstance ten years ago. When you were a child the Shikon no Tama glowed brightly from you. Over the years its glowed dimmer, then brighter. Gone away for a time, and then come back. But one thing has never left you; the aura has never left you. Perhaps you don't know, You can use your mind to call the Shikon no Tama back to you, to the space it originally was in your body. And you will do it now, for us. Then, it will be ours, if we have to kill you to get it."

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InuYasha groaned, his head felt like someone was hammering on his skull from the inside. Something was wrong, but he couldn't make things make sense, his thoughts wouldn't connect…

_The detective came to pick up Kagome. He had kissed her goodbye, feeling something niggling in the back of his mind. But he trusted her ability to take care of herself. Kagome wasn't a defenseless woman, she was a powerful priestess. Maybe even more powerful than Kikyo had been.  
As he had stood watching Kagome get seated in the detective's car the police van pulled up and the uniformed officers got out. They showed him where he would sit and told him what would be expected of him. He was just beginning to relax when they reached the school. He'd wanted a minute alone with Kagome, but instead the Detective brushed him aside, saying it was too risky. The other uniformed officer went into the school, while InuYasha was led back into the van and given a headset..._

Damn it…Then what? His mind was so fucking foggy. He was in the damn van, then what. Now he was waking up surround by cool air, a cold white blanket covering him. Was he still in the van? Could he move yet? He tested his toes successfully, then tried his fingers discovering that the cold blanket wasn't a blanket at all, but a four inch layer of snow. He tested himself, sitting up, brushing the snow off of himself. He looked around…

T_hat was when he noticed something strange. While the set up LOOKED convincing, no sound came out of it. He had listened to Kagome's music occasionally with headphones while she was studying, and there was none of the static. He looked at where the end of the headset was plugged in; it looked like it had just been screwed into a block of wood. He turned to the officer…_

_"Hey, what's the fucking …"_

_That was all he got out before the console in front of his face opened up and he was blasted in_ _the face with a strange purple dust. Instantly, his body was fully paralyzed. Before he lost consciousness, he had watched in horror as the police officer transformed into a demon. The demon laughed hysterically as InuYasha fell out of the seat, the headphones pulling painfully off his ears as he crashed onto the floor of the van._

The memory completely crashed over him, along with the realization that Kagome was in considerable danger. He jumped to his feet, nothing around him was at all familiar. Everything around him was white. No tire tracks, no foot prints, nobody. He had to be far outside of the city. The only hope he had was to find a high place and then hope to pick up Kagome's scent.He looked up at the sky, his fists clenched as he screamed, Partly in fear, partly in frustration.

"FUCK!!!!!!! FUCK !!!!!!!FUCK !!!!!!!FUCK !!!!!!FUCK!!!!!!!!"

"Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Far away a dim pink light became visible among the white falling snowflakes. It wasn't getting any bigger or coming any closer. He couldn't pick up a scent, or any indication of Kagome in the light, but it was all he had.

He took a deep breath and began running towards the pink light.

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Kagome felt a shiver go up her spine as she glared at Sinepon.

"No."

"Not even to save the human?" Sinepon signaled to Rekcuf-gibeno, and he stepped over to where the real Sato stood bound to the wall, still in a deep sleep. He pulled a sharp short katana from his sheath, holding it to the mans chin where it rested on his chest.  
She couldn't, she couldn't save one life, risking the lives of thousands.

"Even if it costs his life and mine. I will not call to the Shikon no Tama." She glared at him harder, an odd kind of gleam in her eyes.

Sinepon's eyes turned red as he leaped forward to stand directly in front of Kagome. He slapped her hard across the face, making the chair she was in spin. He stopped it, grabbing the arms, then put his hands around her throat, pushing her across the room crashing against the conference table. He grabbed the front of her blouse, tearing the delicate fabric apart so that it hung by the sleeves. He threw her on top of the table, straddling her.

"Call for the no Tama!" He screamed at her

Kagome glared at him harder, her eyes narrowing into slits. She spit into his face, lodging a nice loogy in his right eye.

"Never." she whispered it calmly.

"INPUDENT BITCH!" He slapped her across the other cheek.  
"call for the Shikon no Tama, or I kill you, the human, and then I hunt your hanyou and family."

Kagome looked at him defiantly, then laughed mockingly. "You couldn't kill InuYasha if you had him locked in a room, chained up and sound asleep. But you already know that. Isn't that why you dumped him in the middle of nowhere?"

"Enough!" He slapped his hand down hard over her mouth, Kagome tasted blood. "Shut your mouth wareme!" His other hand dropped the blade and went to her throat, tightening.

"No more negotiation. You wish to die wareme, then die. But we have all night, we would be fools if we didn't try to change your mind. Perhaps after we have each taken our turns on you. I was taught to always share, It would be a shame to not take turns on such a tempting fakku."

At his nod, Dratsab-gibeno readjusted the cuffs to the sides of the table, tightening the bag over her hands. Rekcuf-gibeno sealing heavy tape over her mouth.

Sinepon reached down, tearing her bra from her chest.

Sinepon grinned, beginning to stroke her torso.

"Many turns"

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Fakku--fuck

Wareme--cunt

Yariman--slut

Look closely at the demons names…LOL

Let me know if you figure out their REAL names! LOL

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Chapter 12 Preview: The snowflakes have turned into a winter storm,InuYasha has runs through the rapidly increasing snow drifts toward the pink spot of light, not knowing if it was the direction to Kagome or not. Kagome desperately tries to think of someway to fight off Sinepon's attack as she increasingly worries about InuYasha's whereabouts.


	12. Chapter Twelve Blue Angel

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi, I claim no ownership by the writing of this fanfiction . I am just a humble fan who saw a chance to latch onto her star and flyaway. However, I did create Sinepon, Rekcuf-gibeno and his charming brother Dratsab-gibeno..and the concept of the modern day demon underground.Lucky me eh?

Please do not use these characters without my permission, and seriously guys, I'll give it, I just want to know where and how they are being used.

Notes:That being said, I must say a word about language,,,yes the big L. I got a review that I believe was chastising me for the use of the word Temee, and cautioning me that

"**_InuYasha and Kagome would not be comfortable with being called it, or using the word_**."

See my eyebrow raised up like REALLY HIGH!

I thought that was InuYasha's second favorite word, after fucking, (as in your fucking dead you fucking bastard)InuYasha uses temee almost as much as fucking, bastard, damn, KAGOME! and KIKYO.

If I am anything, I am thorough in my research. I am current on the manga, I read the chapters as soon as they come out and are scanlated, Ive seen almost every episode and I have seen EVERY movie in english and Japanese. Trust me, InuYasha has absolutely NO problem with the word Temee, Kagome on the other hand, no, she is not particularly thrilled with it.

Okay, before I go taking a trip on the crazy train here. LOL Now, onto Chapter 12!!

Once again, the beginning of this chapter is not for the faint of heart, it is GRAPHIC and there is a fairly graphic nightmare sequence in the middle, InuYasha's worst ever. I hesitate to say too much in order to not give too much of the story away, but due to my strong feelings on the subject I feel appropraite warnings should be given. So, I am just so to say that this Section of this Fanfiction is NOT FOR THOSE SENSITIVE TO ISSUES OF RAPE AND VIOLENCE. There is also strong language (Hey, just the first part of the notes!! LOL)

* * *

Did you get all the demons names?? Everyone seems to have gotten the brothers, but not the leader!! 

Rekcuf-gibeno---one big fucker

Dratsab-gibeno--one big bastard

and, drum roll please!!!!!!!

Sinepon------- no penis

Side note on names

Usually I will come up with something discribing the character then look up the Japanese translaton for it, but these are such non characters who only have ONE point, to redirect the story. As a writer, I LOVE and ADORE words, I love to mess with words, so nothing thrills me more than when I can create a character name out of a backwards profanity. These three are by FAR my worst behaved, but Elohssa comes in a close second, hes in a Inu-fic called

"Haunted"

that is currently awaiting editing. LOL

Anyway...Here ya go, some pay offs here for you guys, hope you enjoy, sorry for the Looooooooooong notes this time!

_**WARNING GRAPHIC MATERIAL...IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO RAPE OR RAPE ISSUES YOU MAY WISH TO ADVANCE TO THE FOURTH SECTION OF THIS FICTION... **_

* * *

Loss

Chapter Twelve

Blue Angel

* * *

InuYasha forced himself to stop, trying to gauge how far he had gone. It felt like he had been going for hours, tree to tree, hill to hill, small cities to larger cities to the tiniest of villages, to everywhere it seemed but Kagome.  
He was frustrated, he felt like he could have covered all of Japan by now. He was coming up on another small city again. He couldn't see anything yet, but his nose was picking up on the smell of groups of people. But not large ones. It couldn't be HIS city, the one he needed to find. This time he would find someway to hide his ears and find out how far he was from Tokyo. He looked again at the faint pink light, barely visible now behind the heavily falling snow. More and more, following that light was feeling like the right thing to do. He fixed his eyes to the sky again, leaping into a combination of flying, jumping and running at top speed. His hot breath turned to steady puffs of steam, trailing behind him like smoke from the engine in a child's model train set. 

His body set on his destination, he allowed his mind to drift, cursing himself. Damn him! Fucking weak hanyou bastard! Why hadn't he picked up the smell of their demonic nature? Still as he chastised himself, Kagome's influence battled for control. Her faith in him refused to let him think the worst. He would get to her in time, he had to. It was a lot easier to believe in himself when Kagome was well protected, safe and close by his side. Not when she was in the hands of some fucking demon. He had only run up against one shape shifter before, Kikyo had ended up dead…

The image flashed in his mind again, Kikyo at the shrine stairway, the arrow coming. Much too swiftly for him to dream of dodging. But he couldn't have anyway; his eyes were fixed on Kikyo in horror at the blood running down her body from her wounds. His mind shifted, seeing Miroku, one minute smiling, yelling at Sango to get to safety, the next being devoured while the weak hanyou stood and watched. He failed. Because of that, Sango killed herself. He saw her, neck slashed open, flesh and muscle oozing blood down her body, tainting the water of the hot spring. Kagome held her, Sango's blood on her face and arms, the rest of her body stained in blood, water and tears.

As he came down again to launch himself back up he suddenly was assaulted by the memory of Kagome's eyes in his nightmares. Her dead eyes. He missed his step, coming down on the side of his foot instead of flat. He fell to his side, rolling over and over in the deep snow.

"FUCK!" He screamed. Nothing was broken, but the fall had knocked the wind out of him, he would be fine in a second. He just needed to catch his wind.

He lay in the snow, snowflakes falling on his face, resting on his eyelashes. He was assaulted by his nightmare images of Kagome, slashed open and bleeding. The images were so real, so real he could smell her blood.

His eyes watered heavily, he couldn't give up, and he couldn't lose her. He sat up, wiping his eyes with his palms. He launched himself to his feet, was it his imagination that the pink light had gotten a little brighter in his last few leaps? InuYasha still couldn't see the lights, but he knew his next leap or two would bring them in view.

InuYasha came down to launch himself back up, high in the air, more determined than ever to get to her. The falling snow was getting a little brighter, lit by the lights of the city below. The pink light had indeed gotten a little brighter, he noticed as he hit the ground. He leapt high once again, now able to see the panoramic view of city lights many miles away. All at once something hit his nose, something familiar…

He set off again, this time putting his trust in the light.

* * *

Kagome's eye's blazed with hatred as she glared at Sinepon. She closed her eyes, forcing her mind to concentrate on sending her spirit to InuYasha. No wonder he always called her baka. Why didn't she ever listen to his instinct? Now, he was kami knows where, and it was her fault. If they got out of this…when they got out of this…she would find some way to make it up to him. But right now there was something she had to protect that belonged to him. Sinepon's fingers moved over her upper body, her lower body still clothed. The other two stood nearby, watching with interest. There was no way she was going to allow him to take her virginity. It was hers, her gift to give to InuYasha. Sinepon would not take it from them.  
She had to stop him, and she knew exactly how to do it. She just needed a little luck on her side. She had done it before, granted it had once been once, and a long time ago, but why couldn't she do it again if she concentrated?  
She had been working with Kaede but she still hadn't learned to control her purifying energy. Allowing it to come from her hands at will, the way that it had when she was pulled into the well the first time. The way that had stunned Mistress Centipede. She wiggled her fingers, grasping the sides of the bag and feeling along the edges for a weakness. Finally she was rewarded, a missing stitch along the drawstring allowed her to wedge her fingernail underneath. Now if she could just work the thread loose. YES! It was loose enough to slide with her finger. 

"Tell me my little yariman; have you changed your mind yet?" Sinepon sneered at her, his hands moving to the top of her skirt, stopping above the button, sliding a finger inside simply to torment her further,

Rekcuf-gibeno laughed "Remember, the bitch wouldn't shut up, so we shut her up."

Sinepon was laughing. "Lift the tape then baka." he rolled his eyes "Now, yariman. Are you ready to call for the Shikon no Tama?"

Kagome's glare only intensified, she opened her mouth, blood dribbled out the corner and down the side of her cheek "Kutabare!" She spit at him again, blood and loogy stained the front of his shirt.

Sinepon's eyes flashed red again. "Impudent Bitch!" He slapped her again, "Shut her up." he ground out through clenched teeth as he tore the button off her skirt, ripped through the zipper, then tore through the rest.

Kagome gritted her teeth. She was almost halfway through the bag, just a little more, three more stitches should do it.

"Your tough bitch" Sinepon ran his hands down her nylon covered legs, his sharp nails shredding them into ribbons. He bent over her, rubbing himself against her. "Lets see how tough you are when you have two of us at once defiling your sacred priestess body, while another waits for his turn. You'll scream for your hanyou but, he will be dead as soon as he reaches the door. And when he is dead, you'll beg to join him. Wont you?"

"Unless you call for the Shikon no Tama, by the time we are done with you, you will think hell is heaven in comparison."

He stepped back to remove his clothing as Kagome felt the bag slide free of her hands. She relaxed her mind, struggling to free it, praying silently, desperately…

"Help me Kikyo…show me how…"

Kagome felt a vibration building in her stomach, spreading into her chest, up her neck and over her face. She opened her eyes to see her body being surrounded by a bright pink light. She let her hands fall clear of the table and felt the purifying power shoot from her fingertips. The power breaking through the handcuffs, freeing her hands.

Kagome rolled off the side of the table, arms over her chest. Sinepon, Rekcuf-gibeno and Dratsab-gibeno attempted to grab onto her, somehow Kagome knew to simply lift her hand against them, pushing them back against the far wall.

They were shocked for just a second, and then began to move forward again, looking at her menacingly.

"It will take more than that my little yariman!"

"Stop calling me that!" Kagome screamed, this time raising both arms, forgetting her modesty for the moment, instantly hitting them with an excruciating jolt of purifying energy, this time full on.

She felt the energy beginning to drain from her, Kaede had warned that in the beginning she might not be able to maintain it for long. She needed to get out of there and find InuYasha. She moved quickly, squatting on the floor by the table, looking for the jacket she had removed earlier. A flash of red brushed close to her face, and she found herself covered in firerat fur.

Kagome heard the harsh sound of cracking knuckles, followed by a calm, deadly whisper.  
"Fucking bastards." there was a brief pause, the sound of knuckles again, then a single word.  
"Die"  
There wasn't as much as a scream in pain, only the faint smell of burnt flesh as Sinepon, Rekcuf-gibeno and Dratsab-gibeno were reduced to ash and smoke.

Kagome had been squatting, now she allowed herself to fall backwards onto her behind, crying hysterically. The first time she had cried since her ordeal began.

InuYasha still stood on the other side of the table, at the sound of her crying gasps; he turned, crossing the room to fall on his knees next to her. "InuYasha"  
He reached down, pulling his hoari more tightly around her, covering her nakedness, tying it shut. He knelt down, pulling her to him, arms tightly around her. They held one another for a long time, neither talking. They would have plenty of words later, maybe even argue a little, but for now…  
But it could only last so long, eventually; one of them had to speak.

"Damn it woman, that's the last fucking time I let you have your way." He brushed her bangs away from her forehead, bending his head to cover it with a kiss.  
"I'm sorry InuYasha, I should have listened to you." she looked up at him, her hand on his chest, pushing away from him slightly to look into his eyes. "You thought something wasn't right, and you were right"  
He sighed. It was the perfect chance to give her hell, to tell her she was foolish and reckless and to make it clear he would be making all the decisions from now on.  
"It's okay; I'm use to you being wrong by now." He gave her a tiny smirk, making her smile, just before it all came back on her again and the tears returned.  
He pulled her back against him, rocking her softly while she cried.  
"InuYasha"  
"Yeah"  
"It's just that"  
"Just what?" He pulled away from her, looking closely at her, puzzled.  
She sat up, looking at him sheepishly "Times like this really, REALLY make me wish I could have handled my sake"  
He looked at her for a second, as if she was from some weird planet, then she smiled, leaning forward and kissing him softly.  
He laughed, pulling her close again.  
"And you say that I'm fucking weird"  
She laughed, trying to think of something to say, then just decided to be quiet, loving the feeling of where she was.

At the sound of cracking Kagome pulled away from him, looking to the far wall. The netting that had held Sato-sama was dissolving. Soon the spell would completely wear off.

"That's the real Sato-sama; they have him under a spell and bound. InuYasha… They were shape shifters, they"  
"I know." He nodded, stroking her hair "At least that explains how they fooled us at the police station and here"  
Sato fell a little more as the netting cracked through.  
"InuYasha, Now what do we do? We can't let him see us."

"When I woke, I didn't have any memory of things at first. It was your smell that made me remember. He wont remember anything either. I drag him back to where he probably was when that bastard grabbed him. As long as he doesn't see us, who cares what he thinks, it's likely he'll think he just dozed off and had a weird dream anything those bastards did or signed or put into action has been turned into dust, like his sorry ass." InuYasha put his hands on her face, kissing her.

"Don't move, I'll be right back then I'll get you home."

Kagome nodded, for once more than willing to do exactly as InuYasha told her.

* * *

**_Warning:This section is rather graphic, and ends quite violently. You may wish to skip over it if you are sensitive to the description of rape. I want to make clear however, this is a dream sequence_**

* * *

_InuYasha ran through the heavily falling snow, trying to follow the fading light. He had to get to Kagome; he had to protect her, to keep her safe. _

_The next instant he was inside the hallway. He ran around the corner and into the conference room where they were holding her.  
She was held face down on the table, while Sinepon violated her from behind. InuYasha ran, trying to get to her, but he could get only within inches of the table. An barrier stood between them, and he could hear her screaming as loud as if he was standing right next to her._

_Kagome raised her head, seeing him she lifted her arms, begging him to save her, tears poured down her face, pooling on the table and around her breasts._

_InuYasha pulled Tessiaga from its scabbard, preparing to use the red Tessiaga to break the barrier. Sinepon looked up, laughing at him, then Sinepon morphed into Naraku._

_"InuYasha, you didn't really think I would let you win did you?"_

_Naraku increased the force of his thrusts, making Kagome scream out in pain._

_"Kagome!" InuYasha screamed, reaching out for her. He remembered he held Tessiaga and brought it back in a mighty swing, the fang swirling with red demonic power. He swung it down, nothing happened; in his hand was only a swirl of red dust._

_He looked up as Kagome screamed his name again; the demon morphed again, and now bore the face of Sesshomaru. His eyes were cold red as he slammed into her violently._

_"Well, little brother. Come to play have you?" Sesshomaru laughed at him, further increasing his force.  
"InuYasha!" Kagome screamed his name "Please, make it stop! It hurts!"_

_Hot tears ran down InuYasha's face, soaking his hoari._

_"Kagome!!!!!!!!!"_

_He beat against the barrier with his fists, screaming at Sesshomaru, offering his life and Tessiaga in exchange for Kagome's freedom, anything for her to be set free. Sesshomaru laughed crazily, then screeched loud and horribly as he reached his peak. Sesshomaru's arms flew in front of him violently, his claws aimed for Kagome's back, slashing her back, then sinking in to the third knuckle while he rode his wave._

_Kagome lay head turned to the side, down, tears now flowing off the end of the table like rain into a dike._

_Tears fell from his face as he uselessly tried to break through the barrier, mixing with hers on the conference room floor_

_"Kagome…" He tried again in vain to reach for her, stopped once again by the barrier._

_Sesshomaru pulled a blade from the sheath next to Tensaiga, pulled Kagome's head up by the hair, placing the sharp edged blade to her throat.  
"InuYasha…"her eyes begged his to help her, to get to her, to save her._

_Sesshomaru thrust the blade into Kagome's neck, InuYasha closed his eyes, unable to watch the blood drain from her body. When he opened them again, he stood over Kagome, his fist held her hair, the blade in his other._

_he was the one who killed her._

_Blood poured from her neck onto the floor, running into the small pool of their mixed tears._

_InuYasha opened his mouth and began to scream._

* * *

Kagome paced the hallway outside her room 

His screams terrified her, but on what was suppose to be good advice she was allowing him to bring his nightmare to completion.

If this didn't work she was going to brain Ayumi and Hojo.

"No! Kagome!!" He screamed again

Mrs. Higurashi appeared at the bottom of the stairwell. His screams had woken her for the third night in a row. Mrs. Higurashi had expected difficulties with Kagome after her recent trauma, not InuYasha. She loved this boy like he was one of her own. In her heart, he WAS one of her own. Still, she and Kagome hadn't a clue how to help him. They felt useless. He thrashed around in the bed now, calling to Kagome in a cross between a loud talking and outright screaming.

"Another?" She began to climb the stairs.

She nodded, meeting her halfway and sitting down next to her on the stair. "They're getting worse mama. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know how to make his nightmare's go away sweetie, but until you figure it out, just love him."

She hugged her, then turned and went back down the stairs to her room. Kagome sighed, then returned to her pacing.

A minute later InuYasha woke; he sat straight up, his breath coming hard and fast.  
When he was calm again he noticed Kagome, sitting on her legs at the end of the bed "What are you doing up?" his voice was harsh, reminding her of how he talked when they had first known one another.

"You had another, didn't you?" She scooted forward reaching out to put her hand on his.

InuYasha nodded reluctantly. "Yeah." He lay back, hooking his fingers with hers.

"Will you talk to me about them? Please."

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about them, to anyone."

"InuYasha, you need to." The time for ignoring was past. She couldn't bear to see him tormented anymore.

He let go of her hand, rolling over away from her "I told you, there's no point. Now just… drop this Kagome."

"I can't. Your nightmares are getting worse, tonight your screams woke mama and…"

InuYasha sat up, looking at her strangely.

"So you don't want me being a bother to your family anymore? Is that it?"

Kagome gasped, how the hell he had gotten that into his head.

"I never said that InuYasha."

He rolled the opposite direction, pulling himself out of bed. He snatched up his robe and hoari, tossing them on and getting them in place in record time.

"InuYasha? What are you doing?" She slid out of bed, reaching for his sleeve.

"I'm going back to where I won't bother people. To where I belong." His words stung her. He picked up Tessiaga, securing it in its proper place.

He ran down the stairs, seeming to hesitate, and then he opened the sliding door and began walking towards the well house.

Kagome quickly slipped her shoes on, She ran after him, catching up to him under Goshinboku and grabbing his sleeve. "InuYasha…"

"Go back inside Kagome, your gonna freeze to death." He turned, trying to pull his sleeve out of her grasp.

"You belong here InuYasha. You belong with me."

InuYasha wouldn't turn and look at her, her tone told him she was crying. Not the normal tears, but the huge ones, the ones that meant that he had wronged her. The ones she had always worn when he hurt her with Kikyo. He didn't want to see them. He didn't want to know what his weakness was doing to her.

He spoke, not turning around.

"I'm not so sure about that anymore Kagome."

Kagome felt like she had been punched in the stomach, but she had to ask. "You're not sure about what InuYasha? Here or me?"

He spoke just loud enough for her to hear.

"Both"

He pulled his sleeve from her limp fingers. He didn't turn, or even look at her over his shoulder. He heard the snow crunch behind him as her shaking legs collapsed from under her and she fell down onto her knees. At the well house as he opened the door, he caught the sound of her tears.

InuYasha tried to walk through the door, to go to the well, but his feet felt frozen to spot. Her scent was carried to him on the gentle winter breeze, soft, gentle and oh so sweet, fruity like the shampoo she used, musky like the perfume she wore. Her natural scent, clean, pure, like fresh air and fine line dried silk. She was pure and innocent, yet her kisses left him with the desire to make love to her. He picked up the sound of her heartbeat, at the moment beating in perfect time with his. They were one heart.

He turned his head and caught her in the corner of his eye, slowly turning to take in the entire vision.  
She was breathtakingly beautiful, yet heartbreakingly sad Her face rested in her hands as her body shook with pain. Clothed in all in white, yet bathed in the blue of the full moon. She looked like a weeping angel, on her knees in the snow. The moonlight kissed her hair, encasing it in a blue halo, bare shoulders and arms reflected a spectacular blue radiance, like protective wings folded over her sweet innocent face, attempting to hide her tears. Fresh snow sparkled around her, more brilliant than the shards of adamant that flew from Tessiaga when he released the Kongosouha. InuYasha's mind began to clear, and he saw the situation for what it was. Kagome was beautiful, sweet and kind. She was pure, loving and devoted completely to him. She had been through hell in the months since Miroku died, and it wasn't over yet. She knew this, and still she was more worried about helping him than how she felt. She had nearly been raped just three days before, and she was begging him to let her help him.  
She was his, and he was walking away from her. Why?

Because he was proud! Too proud to tell her…to admit that he…

He was such a dumbass!

He quietly shut the well house door, then retraced his steps, returning to her. He knelt across from her, their knees touching. She was still crying softly, and it broke his heart to know that once again it was his fault. He reached out gently taking her hands, pulling them away from her tear stained face. She looked at him, her eyes red and swollen, yet sparkling with surprise and hope.

"InuYasha…? You… came back?"

He nodded, clutching her hands tightly in his.  
"Why?" she whispered, terrified of the answer.

"I…"

His voice caught, choking him up. He was unable to speak. He moved closer, their bodies touching, so he could speak in whispers.

"My life is where you are."

"But you said…"

He lowered his head, kissing her softly.

"Forgive me, please. I didn't want to tell you…didn't want you to know."

"Know what?" Her eyes searched his face, looking for some kind of clue. Kagome lifted her hand to InuYasha's cheek.

"How weak I…" He closed his eyes, shaking his head "That's not it. It makes me weak. I'm…" His throat felt tight, and then he couldn't speak at all. He looked into her eyes, pleading with her to understand, to give him time. He let go of her hands, covering his face.  
Kagome rose up on her knees and took his hands again, pulling them away from his face. She left them to rest at their sides. He looked at her for a minute, the squeezed his eyes shut.

"I…I'm afraid " He opened his eyes, letting the tears and his fear to the surface for her to see, surprised when she didn't look sick or disgusted by them.

"InuYasha…" She grasped his arms, looking deep into his eyes.

"I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose you too Kagome!" It came out in a rush as he fell forward, laying his head against her chest. He pulled his arms around her, like a small child. His body shook with his sobs, emotion gaining intensity until it exploded, his head falling down into her lap, his entire body involved as he vented his anguish. She lay her cheek on the top of his head, wrapping her arms around his shaking shoulders.

"Shhhhhhh…"She whispered softly, rubbing behind his ears with her fingers "Its okay. " Her voice gently soothed him, whispering the words he had once whispered to her. "Just let it all go love, your gonna be okay. "  
Kagome knew, this was InuYasha's break through. She remembered only too well, the day on the dock when she had seen the blood and freaked out. Kagome had been held in the arms of a handsome hanyou as he gently soothed her fear. It was the day she had finally started getting better.  
She gently brushed her fingers through his hair his hair while she kissed his ears, leading him in the same direction he'd had to bully her in four months before. A long time later, his tears finally beginning to dry, InuYasha sat up and looked into the eyes of his blue angel.

"Your going to be okay InuYasha. I promise."

He nodded, a small smile on his face as he reached for her, pulling her up and into his arms

* * *

Mrs. Higurashi had just begun to make after breakfast cleaning noises when InuYasha carefully eased his arm from the soft tumble of Kagome's hair, quietly rising from the warmth of the bed. Kagome shivered without his body heat, InuYasha picked up the extra blanket from the desk chair, unfolded it and laid it over her. He felt the weirdest mixture of happiness and guilt. He had been relieved of the most horrible burden that he had been carrying for…well, for longer than anyone with any sense should ever carry something. 

However, in route to releasing his torment, he had kept Kagome out in the freezing cold and snow for over an hour without a coat. When his storm calmed he realized too late that she was now soaking wet, in only a thin sleeveless cotton nightgown, sitting on her knees in a snow drift. He yelled at her, asked her if she was out of her fucking mind or trying to catch pneumonia. He picked her up and carried her into the house, promptly running into Mrs. Higurashi. He immediately took the blame; he knew if she got sick it would be all his fault. She had decided to stay out of it, but warning them both that if one of them somehow managed to accidentally kill the other one, she would be rather unhappy.

InuYasha had immediately ordered Kagome into a hot bath, with orders to not come out until she was warmed through, then he promptly lay down and fell asleep. He had woke several times and checked her, she seemed to be fever free so far, and not a cough or sniffle.  
He threw his inner robe on, then made his bleary eyed way down the stairs, missing the kitchen doorframe slightly and stubbing his toe.  
"KUSO!" he yelled loudly, making Mrs. Higurashi jump. She turned around, seeing him holding his toe and hopping about.

"Kuso to you also, InuYasha-kun." She bowed, smirking sarcastically.

"I'm corrupting these nice people" InuYasha thought with a grin as he pulled a chair out and slid up to the table.

"Sorry Mama" InuYasha grinned "I am still mostly asleep. The door frame got in my way."

"I so hate it when the door does that." She smiled, setting a plate and cup of tea in front of him.

"Thank you" InuYasha bowed, realizing just how good Mrs. Higurashi was getting at this sarcasm thing. "I really need to get out of here"

"You're leaving?" Mrs. Higurashi said, turning away from the sink.

"Huh?" InuYasha hadn't realized that he had spoken out loud "Oh! No!" He laughed "Sorry Mama, I was just thinking that it sounds as if you are picking up my sarcasm."

She laughed "Oh InuYasha-kun! I was sarcastic long before you met Kagome-chan! So save your apology for another time."

He smiled a little "In that case, allow me to apologize for last night."

"For what?" She raised her eyebrow at him

InuYasha looked at her like she was crazy "For what? All of it, keeping you up with my nightmares, hurting Kagome again, dragging her out into the snow and cold, acting like a baby…"

"InuYasha-kun, don't be silly. Often it's hard to admit how we feel, and when we hurt or are afraid, that is usually when it is the hardest. You hurt yourself by holding your pain and fear inside, and you help no one. Yes, InuYasha-kun, you hurt Kagome-chan when you tried to leave her. But you brought her joy, you were smart, you turned around and came back to her, and together you made everything all right."

"Yeah, we did" His mind flashed back to his vision of her sitting in the snow, his blue angel surrounded by sparkling adamant.

"However InuYasha-kun, you did drag her out in the cold. If she gets sick, you get to be the one to take care of her. I warn you, Kagome-chan is a big baby when she is sick…'Mama get this…mama get that'…up the stairs, down the stairs, every twenty minutes. Well InuYasha-kun …it is YOUR job now! HA! HA!" She grinned, making him laugh.

"So far she's fine" He laughed "Still, I wish I knew… Some way to make it up to her"

"Just your being with her is enough."

"I'm not good with words like Kagome is, I'm more into actions. I just need to think. To find the perfect way to show her…I mean to let her see, I want her to know exactly how much I love her."

"That's very sweet InuYasha-kun. When you think of something, I will do all I can to help you. You just let me know"  
Mrs. Higurashi began paging through the newspaper. InuYasha was only half watching, until something caught his eye, reminding him of something Kagome had said some time ago.

He smiled, catching Mrs. Higurashi's attention.

InuYasha knew exactly what to do.  
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CHAPTER 13 PREVIEW:

A specail chapter,

If you enjoyed chapter seven "Barrier" You'll love this one

InuYasha wants Kagome to know that he loves her.he's come up with a plan, and now, with a little help from the family, Kagome will find out exactly how in love with her InuYasha is! A

* * *

Chapter 14 Preview: 

It's been three chapters since we checked in on Shippo! What's he been doing?

Is there anything left of Kaede's garden? Shippo's been a bad boy, but nothing compared to how

he reacts when he suddenly hears a familiar voice "Without Warning"

preview subject to change pending inspiration or writers whim..lol

* * *

Thanks You Guys For 50 Great Reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *


	13. Chapter Thirteen Knowledge

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, I am however willing to except a fully automated anatomically correct lifelike mannequin of Sesshomaru if anyone sees fit to buy me one for my birthday or Christmas! Yeah, I know, Bad! BAD Fanfic writer, BAD Fanfic writer! ""Slap FINGERS!""

* * *

Notes: First off, my apologies right off the bat. I know you were expecting this to be the BIG romantic chapter and it started out to be, but then I realized that there were still so many lose ends from the Sinepon/Sato chapters that needed to be tied up, and it took up so much space. So I thought to toss in a brief tie up chapter bringing us RIGHT up to the big moment, this way I can have my whole chapter to give to InuYasha and Kagome to get squishy with. And I want to make sure this chapter is PERFECT, and unique, so it might take me a little longer to write, so please be patient!!

* * *

As I already mentioned, this chapter mostly ties up loose ends, and unravels some new ones for chapter 15. I'm curious to know if there is any interest in the demon underground plot, if I should continue with that, go elsewhere, or if I should wrap this story up and start something new. Then I could raise Miroku and Sango from the dead! I kind of miss writing them! What do you guys think??

* * *

I will get Chapter 14 out asap ok?? Promise! Remember, if its forced, it usually sucks! And you guys deserve better!

* * *

Loss

Chapter 13

Knowledge

* * *

_InuYasha heard Kagome's voice calling out to him from the hot spring. He smiled and dropped the stick he had been using to stoke the fire, breaking into a slow run. He removed his robes, stripping down to his hakema._

_  
"Kagome…" her back was to him and she was totally quiet. InuYasha felt the familiar fear run up his spine as he knelt behind her to check on her, his body was weak, his head felt dizzy._

_  
"Kagome…You okay?" When she still didn't answer, InuYasha reached out his hand to turn her face. In a flash Kagome grabbed his arm and pulled him over into the hot spring. He surfaced hearing her laughter surrounding and embracing him. He was transfixed by relief and the sight of her, then he remembered who he was._

_  
"Keh. You think your so smart" He crossed his arms over his chest _

_"Why, yes, I do"_

_  
"Keh!" he raised his voice at the end of the word, making it extra forceful to parlay his doubt._

_  
"Fooled you didn't I?"_

_  
InuYasha was speechless, she had him there. So he just threw out another "Keh" and settled for pouting. Kagome crossed to where he knelt, putting her arms around his waste and rested her cheek on his back._

_  
"I'll make it up to you"_

_  
InuYasha turned a little in her arms, raising an eyebrow with increasing interest._

_  
"How?"_

_  
Kagome let go of him and wiggled her finger at him. InuYasha turned, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She put her arms around his neck, lifting one to the top of his head to pull an ear to her mouth. "Like this" She let his ear go, then used the same hand to push his head to hers, joining their lips. Her mouth opened almost immediately, tongue escaping to search for his. After a long while, she pulled away._

_  
"I love you"_

_InuYasha smiled down at her "I love you too."_

_Kagome reached back for the tie on her bathing suit top, loosening the bottom. Her eyes never left his as she leaned against him, reaching for the top ties._

_"I want you InuYasha…Make love to me.."_

_She pulled the string_

_"InuYasha….."_

_He nuzzled her neck, licking her ear._

_"InuYasha."_

_"Kagome.." His hands reached for her, trying to pull the top away._

_"InuYasha!"_

_"InuYASHA!_ STOP IT!" She laughed with relief, he was having way too much fun to be having a nightmare.

"Kagome…" InuYasha made another desperate grab in her direction as she fought for her grip, laughing.

"InuYasha! Let go!" Kagome laughed hysterically as InuYasha grinned in his sleep. Whatever he was dreaming about, it better be about her or he was in big trouble. He opened his eyes, reality crashing in on him. He looked down at the dish towel he tried to pull away from Kagome and let it go, sending her flying off the side of her bed and making her laugh harder.

"InuYasha!"

He pushed himself up on his elbow, looking down at her, smiling and blushing as his dream flashed in his head.

"Sorry."

He offered her his hand, and pulled her back up on the bed, then flopped back onto the pillows, pulling her with him.

"Do I want to know?" She grinned 

Kagome rolled up onto her elbows and looked into his eyes, she loved how bright his eyes were when he first woke in the morning, she couldn't look into them enough.

"What?" InuYasha reached for a piece of her hair to play with, twisting it around his finger.

"What you were dreaming about." InuYasha didn't answer but blushed in the darkest red Kagome thought she had ever seen on him.

"OK! I'm going to take that as a no"  
He blushed a bit more.

"Was it at least about me?"

InuYasha's eyebrows knitted together in mild annoyance "Well, who else baka?"

Kagome laughed.  
"The way you went for the dish towel I thought maybe it was the dish lady at that ramen house you like so much"

InuYasha rolled his eyes, muttering. "Baka...Were you waking me up for a reason or just to abuse someone"The smile left Kagome's face, replaced with a shadow of worry."What's wrong?" InuYasha let go of her hair, cupping his hand around her jaw."The school called, Sato wants to see us. In an hour."

"It's probably about your schooling, your getting close to being finished."

"I don't know, I might have to start over since I signed the contract with Sinepon. But, that can't be it. He wants to see US InuYasha." Kagome was obviously worried. InuYasha put his arms around her and pulled her against him.

"Maybe he doesn't even know that much. Well figure out how to handle this when we find out how much he knows."

Kagome nodded, burying her face against his warm chest, dishes forgotten.

* * *

An hour later Kagome sat outside Sato's office clutching InuYasha's hand. InuYasha smiled a little to himself, then he whispered to Kagome that it was a good thing he was a demon, if not for the extra strength of his bones he would have four broken fingers. It had earned him a tiny nervous smile at least.

Sato greeted them and to Kagome's surprise, led them out of the administrative offices to a small room that the school used for specail meetings. They were comfortable, set up like a sitting room with a television and DVD player. Someone had arranged a beautiful vase of flowers and it sat in the middle of the table.

"Higurashi-sama" Sato bowed to Kagome and then bowed to InuYasha "I'm afraid we have never been introduced."

"Forgive me" Kagome smiled, surprising InuYasha with how calm she seemed, considering how nervous he knew she was. "Sato-sama, this is my fiancé, InuYasha."

Sato bowed to InuYasha, impressing the hanyou by not doing a double-take at the odd name. InuYasha was actually impressed by the man as a whole. Everything he picked up from Sato was the exact opposite of what he had felt upon meeting Sinepon, pretending to be Sato.

"Please, sit." Sato smiled, directing them into the room. When they were all sitting, Sato got directly to the point.

"I would imagine you must be quite curious as to why I have asked to see you both, I wont hold you in suspense." Sato turned to Kagome "Higurashi-sama, are you aware that the entire school is monitored with security cameras twenty four hours a day?"

"Uh…"Kagome's voice stuck in her throat, they were busted, and they were busted huge.

Sato smiled slightly "I will assume that is a no." Sato picked up the remote control for the television and DVD player "As you also see, the information is saved into DVD's."

Sato hit the button, starting the DVD. Sato sat at his desk, it appeared to be late at night. Sinepon walked into his office, and the air was filled with purple dust. Sato forwarded the DVD to show him returning to his desk thirty minutes later, but on a split screen, two other demons were magically applying some kind of netting over the same man.

Sato jumped around to separate incidents over a weeks time. Kagome once again saw her arrowhead destroyed, but this time she saw Sinepon give the "repaired" arrowhead to the "guards".

Then the DVD came to four days before. Sato clicked it off. "I would rather not watch that again, as I am sure you would agree Higurashi-sama and InuYasha-sama." He looked at Kagome and she looked up, unable to believe the warmth and concern she saw reflecting back at her.

"This is also why I chose to meet here, I'd rather you not have to endure those memories."

"Thank you." Kagome's voice came out barely above a whisper. InuYasha hadn't actually "seen" any of it, a fact that she was relieved about. If he had known every single detail, he would have taken his being tricked much, much worse.

"Why did you want to see us then?" InuYasha asked, a little uncomfortable. " If you know what happened."

Sato rose a finger, stood and retrieved the DVD from the machine.  
"First, to assure you, The security system only makes one DVD." He broke the DVD in half, then quarters. "It is best to be sure there is no chance that this can fall into the wrong hands."

"Why is it?"Kagome asked, a half smile on her face. "You don't even seem freaked out by this."

Sato laughed a little "I have been an educator for almost thirty years Kagome-sama. Did you not know that demon's send their children to school also? I have come across my fair share of demons and hanyou over the years. Of course there are usually execptions, but usually in concern of their secret being discovered, they are the quiet ones, the book-ish ones. I had in fact wondered about you Higurashi-sama, until I realized last spring that you hold the power of a priestess."

"How…?" Kagome looked up in surprise.

He smiled "My family comes from great spiritual power. I considered becoming a priest until eldest brother decided to hold the tradition. My grandmother was a priestess, as was her grandmother. That's why when I woke, I knew right away that something had been wrong and sought out the disks." His face grew troubled "I thought perhaps some senior hanyou were playing a prank, they often do. But, what I saw, was certainly not what I was expecting. I was very relieved Higurashi-sama that you escaped unharmed."

"Thank you" Kagome smiled, encouraged by the kindness she saw. "You as well. And of course you." Kagome took InuYasha's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"InuYasha-sama was in danger also?"

"No, not exactly. Just far away when I needed to be here." InuYasha half admitted, shivering again, remember how the cold had even started to get through to his demon skin.

"The DVD's had no sound, I was unaware."

"InuYasha was knocked out with the same purple dust you were, and then dumped seventy-five miles from here." Kagome said, shuddering.

"I was in the middle of nowhere." InuYasha continued. "There were no landmarks, nothing was familiar. Only a dim pink light that I wasn't sure if I should follow or not. I went with my gut."

"And your nose I assume?" Sato smiled at InuYasha's look. "I saw on the DVD. You are half Inu correct? I am familiar with the InuYokai, I have a very dear friend who is Inu."

"Yes, I am half InuYokai, half human." InuYasha pulled the bandana off his head, smiling slightly. "Anyway, the light panned out. My smell was off for a long time because of the storm, but I finally picked up Kagome's blood. At first I thought I was imagining it..but it suddenly got stronger."

"Blood, I don't recall..."

"I bit the inside of my mouth, purposely." Kagome smiled.

"And spit it on Sinepon." InuYasha laughed, Sato joining him.

"A pink light you said?" InuYasha nodded "The light was your spirit. Sent to lead InuYasha-sama back to you."

Kagome nodded "I think so, yes."

"Your power is incredible."

"It is unfotunately also untrained. I was only able to protect myself because I called upon the spirit of a great priestess to show me the way. Her name was Kikyo."

"You don't mean Kikyo of the feudal era! You can't possibly…"

"You know of Kikyo?" InuYasha sounded alarmed, as if this was another set up.

"Of course, Priestess Kikyo is legendary among many of my friends. For reasons of which were another reason I asked you to come today."

"I don't understand." Kagome looked confused, she clutched at InuYasha's hand nervously.

Sato sighed deeply "Many today have forgotten that demons existed. They have become legend, myth. After the feudal era, demon and human existed in peace. Demon/human marriages became common place and the result was a rapid influx of hanyou children. Eventually, the hanyou population became larger than both the human and the demon population.

"Fearing for their species, the remaining full demons were called into seclusion by their leader, they left Japan for an unknown Island somewhere far from here. All was fine for a hundred years, the demon population slowly grew once again, replenishing itself. Then, an upstart assassinated their leader. Sinepon was a leader among what is known as the demon underground. His followers, returned to Japan, kidnapping the demons who had chosen to stay here. Most of the kidnapped demons have been turned, or killed, but a few have remained dedicated to peace among the races, and are informants. They are led by a demon, my friend who is also Inu, like you InuYasha-sama."

Kagome felt InuYasha jolt slightly "Sesshomaru?" He whispered

Sato looked at him in shock, then shook his head. "I'm sorry InuYasha-sama, I can't tell you that without permission."

"Of course." Kagome squeezed InuYasha's hand "Could you arrange a meeting?"

"I will do what I can."

"Who is the upstart that is leading the underground?" InuYasha asked, barely able to take it all in.

"Their leader can tell you all you need to know when you meet him. Now if you will forgive and indulge me InuYasha-sama, these flowers are for you Higurashi-sama. To say thank you for saving my life."

Kagome smiled "Thank you."

"Your diploma is ready to be signed after you take your finals, at your convience. Finally, I believe this is yours." Sato reached into his pocket and pulled out a box, handing it to Kagome.

Kagome smiled, knowing what it was. After InuYasha had told her that anything Sinepon had set into action would turn to dust, she had rushed to check her arrowhead. It had in fact, turned into dust. Now she opened the box, to find her arrowhead fully intact.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

* * *

Over the next five days InuYasha seemed scarce. He spent an entire afternoon on the other side of the well, returning with a "Hey" from Koga of all people! Kagome suspected that he was doing secret attempts at sniffing out information on the demon underground. He was being annoyingly closed mouthed about everything. Kagome decided to take advantage and pour herself into her studies so she could take her tests at the end of the week.

She woke on Friday morning, the day she had agreed to come for her tests, and InuYasha and Mrs. Higurashi were both mysteriously gone, Leaving a note that simply said "Grocery shopping" But when she returned early that afternoon InuYasha was still gone, and there didn't seem to be much more food in the house. Saturday he was still sleeping when Mrs. Higurashi woke her up with a surprise. A day trip to the spa, in honor of completing her finals. No way was she turning that down.

Kagome spent the day getting pampered, massaged, mudded, filed, buffed, waxed plucked, trimmed and anything else Mrs. Higurashi decided she should have. Including having her hair fixed and make up done. "Just to sit around and watch movies with InuYasha"  
When they arrived home, Kagome called out for InuYasha, surprised when it didn't answer. It was new moon, he never went anywhere on new moon. Most of the time he never left her room when they were in her time. She shrugged, maybe he fell asleep to try and get back to his dream again. He'd been smiling a lot in his sleep lately, then waking up feeling "very friendly" . She took a bottle of water, then went to her room to change. She opened her door, almost missing it. On her pillow lay a white rose on top of a white scroll. Kagome unrolled the scroll.

_"Look in the closet"_

Kagome's grin spread from ear to ear as she skipped to the closet door, she pulled open the door. Inside was another white rose, hanging on the back of the door with white dress bag, another scroll tied to the front. Kagome untied the scroll and laughed as she read the words

_"Damn it, Kagome…  
Would you hurry up Already?  
You know how much I  
fucking hate it when  
you keep me waiting………."_

* * *

CHAPTER 14 PREVIEW:

The Promised Chapter!  
Kagome will never doubt InuYasha's love again!


	14. Chapter Fourteen Unbreakable

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the exclusive property of Kagome Higurashi and Rumiko Takahashi. I am still accepting offers for that Sesshy Mannequinn 

Notes:  
Well guys, here it is, such as it is. It got a tad lime-ish, but no where near a lemon I hope you like it. There is as usual some strong language, and sexual situations but for once no one is about to get drunk, raped, sleep in a dirt hole, or die.  
It was a nice little break. I believe I have found the conclusion, and could be finishing it up in two or three more updates. Worry not, I may continue this as a different story, or come up with something new, or...who knows. Just usually when I get my inspiration for my finale I know my mind is wanting me to finsih this and move on to something new. And like I said, I SO miss Miroku and Sango.  
I hope you guys will all stick around!

And now I present...

* * *

Loss

Chapter Fourteen

Unbreakable

* * *

Kagome fiddled with the blindfold, trying once again to keep it from messing up her hair and make-up. 

"Kagome, the more you mess with it the more it is going to mess up your hair." Mrs. Higurashi warned, patting Kagome's hands once again as they sat in the back of the taxi en-route to the special evening that awaited Kagome.

Kagome smiled, letting her hands drop into her lap "I wish you would tell me where we are going."

"But that would…"

"Ruin the surprise… I know, I know. Blah, blah, blah." Mrs. Higurashi laughed at Kagome's antics. She never had been good at being surprised, even as a young child, patience had never been Kagome's strong point.

Kagome smiled "Sorry Mama, I'll try to be good. The curiosity is just…"

Kagome sat back, let the sentence trail off and just let her mind wander back a couple hours, to when she had found InuYasha's note.

_Flashback_

On Kagome's pillow a white rose lay on top of a white scroll. Kagome unrolled the scroll.

* * *

_"Look _

_in the _

_closet"_

Kagome's grin spread from ear to ear as she skipped to the closet door, she pulled open the door. Inside was another white rose, hanging on the back of the door with white dress bag, another scroll tied to the front. Kagome untied the scroll and laughed as she read the words, holding the rose to her face to breathe in the sweet fragrance.

* * *

_"Damn it, Kagome…  
would you hurry up_

_already? You know how_

_ much I fucking hate it_

_  
when you keep me_

_waiting…"_

* * *

"Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi knocked softly on the recently reinstalled bedroom door.  
"You're so sneaky" she grinned at Mrs. Higurashi "Day at the spa for completing my finals. Keh." Kagome finished with a lousy imitation of InuYasha's favorite word, well, his favorite after… 

"You must hurry and dress so I can take you to InuYasha."

"Oh, right." Kagome handed the hanger to Mrs. Higurashi, and then unzipped it. "Oh my…" Kagome was pleasantly surprised.

"How did you know about this dress mama?" Kagome pulled the dress off the hanger, holding it up to her in front of the mirror.

"A few months ago, when you were looking at the paper. You came to a picture of the dress, remember? You stayed on the page for a long time, looking at it, brushing your fingers over the picture. Sighing deeply. A mother knows love when she sees it." Mrs. Higurashi smiled.

"And you remembered." Kagome smiled

"Not me."

Kagome blinked. Only one other person had been home that day.

"Now, don't go on to him about it, you will only embarrass him. I tried to get him to go shopping with me, and you can imagine his reaction."

Kagome giggled a little, she tried to imagine InuYasha in among all the delicate dresses and girls things. The mental image was just way too funny. "I can imagine. Complete mortification."

"And that would have been the good part."

Kagome giggled

Just after they had got in the taxi, mama pulled out the blindfold.

"Mama! Do I really have to?"

"Of course! InuYasha insisted on complete secrecy!"

_End Flashback _

* * *

Kagome felt the taxi come to a stop, butterflies took occupancy and began to perform a ballet in her stomach. 

"What's wrong with me." Kagome giggled "I'm just meeting InuYasha, what's with the nerves?"

"It's not nerves." she told herself as Mama helped her stand and get out of the taxi "I'm just excited. That's it."

Kagome muttered, her voice low enough so that only she could hear, her words would have put InuYasha to shame.  
"Excited my ass. Your fucking nervous."

* * *

Mrs. Higurashi asked the driver to wait for her, then led Kagome to where InuYasha waited, with a quick wave and a blown kiss, she was gone. InuYasha was left alone to stare at Kagome. 

InuYasha felt like every bit of air had left his lungs, as if every word was stilled on his lips. All thought, movement, everything involved in time, space, gravity, even his mind, had ceased to exist.

For InuYasha the only thing in all the universe …was her.

Her hair was pulled up in a loose bun, held in place with a large comb that was topped with white flowers. Long tendrils fell down at her temples, back, and ears. She had dusted luminescent powder over her shoulders and face, lighting her skin with a soft glow.

Her dress was white chiffon, adorned with a glittery ice blue snowflake design from top to bottom. The neck and back were cut low, rising up to rest below her shoulders, leaving them bare. A tight sleeve around the arm fell about two inches. The top was tight and fit perfectly to just above her hips, then flared out into a full fluffy skirt, reaching to just above the tops of her feet. Her shoes consisted of two straps across the top of her toes and a strap around the ankle, all covered in the same ice blue glitter.

"InuYasha?" Kagome spoke nervously, almost as if she feared she had been abandoned.

Didn't she know? He would never leave her. Never!

InuYasha cleared his throat and moved forward. "I'm here. Sorry."

When he reached her, he bent to her, brushing his lips over hers lightly, then whispered in her ear. "Your beautiful"

Kagome smiled, blushing furiously. She was completely unused to all this doting attention from him, it felt so foreign to her.

"InuYasha…?" She reached out her hand, finding his chest. He picked up her hand, kissing the knuckles.

"Hmm?" He was absorbed by the scent of her perfume on her wrist.

"Are you naked?"

That got InuYasha's full attention. He actually stuttered. "W…w…hat?"

Kagome grinned "That's the only reason I can think of for why I'm still blindfolded."

InuYasha blushed, chuckling and moving behind her to untie the blindfold.

"Sorry."

Finally able to see, Kagome opened her eyes.

She stood in the small garden behind the lake cabin, but it was unlike she had ever seen it before. The sides had been completely closed in with twelve foot high walls created from bricks of snow, a gentle snowfall had begun, snowflakes falling softly down on them through the un- ceiling. The bare trees of the garden had been strung with blue and white strings of lights far enough apart that the garden held a soft glow that wasn't too bright to dull the star shine.

At the edge of the garden a table glowed with candlelight, having been set using Mrs. Higurashi's good china. Kagome smelled the air and for the first time noticed food smells coming from inside the cabins kitchen. InuYasha stepped up to her, putting his arms around her waist.

"InuYasha…wow"

"Do you like it?"

"It's incredible. How did you do all this?" She leaned back against him.  
"Sota and I built it. I can't give you a home right now" he shrugged "So, I thought you might like a castle, even if its just for one night."

"InuYasha."Kagome cuddled back against him, wondering what happened to the hanyou who said she was ugly and couldnt stand her stench.

InuYasha began to blush, fearing she would get carried away he went on quickly, turned out it only made him blush more.

"Mama did all the woman stuff."

Kagome laughed "Like picking my dress?"

"Uh…yeah." InuYasha cleared his throat, he was busted, but it was worth a bluff anyway.

"Liar, liar pants on fire." Kagome teased, turning around.

"What do you mean? I'm not on fire." InuYasha said, pulling Kagome against him,he grinned mischievously at his private thoughts. "Not yet anyway"

Kagome was getting her first look at him. Because it was new moon he was human, that never failed to throw her slightly, she was so use to seeing him as hanyou. But tonight he was,…nothing short of spectacular.

His hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail far down on his lower neck, left to fall down his back almost to the back of his knees as usual. He wore a black hakema, blinding white robe and white split toe socks with sandals.

She was transfixed, as InuYasha had, Kagome was taking her own inventory of the universe, and discovered there was only him.

"Kagome?" InuYasha waved his hand in front of her face, amused at the far away look in her eyes.

"Hmm?" Kagome snapped back to awareness.

"Welcome back" InuYasha grinned. "Were you someplace good?"

"Very good." She teased, grinning saucily.

"Care to share?" InuYasha pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses on her shoulder.

"What?" Kagome was off in a daze again, InuYasha always had that effect on her. He backed away from her, taking her hand. "Never mind." He laughed, pulling her with him to the table.

InuYasha pulled her chair out, carefully sliding it under her, then put a warm blanket in her lap.

"I'll be right back." he smiled, then turned to the cabin.

Kagome sighed deeply, her heart floating somewhere above the clouds. Was this the same InuYasha who had once tried to kill her?  
The same InuYasha who once cared more about a magical tama than her life?

She could still hear his harsh words, spoken so long ago.  
"…Be a good little girl and hand it over. Unless you'd rather feel the caress of my claws!"

Kagome smiled, she'd rather feel his caresses alright, with his fingertips, with his claws, with his hands, with his...

"Here we go." InuYasha returned carrying two large covered plates. He set one in front of her, and one at his place. When Kagome reached for the cover he stopped her, grinning sheepishly.

"Uh, Kagome, don't expect too much okay?"

"InuYasha, I would be happy with anything as long as I got to have it with you. Even…" She grinned, a huge grin from ear to ear "You didn't."

"What else do I know how to make?"

Kagome pulled the cover off her plate. "You made me chicken ramen!" She laughed "InuYasha, that's my favorite food in the whole world."

"Keh." He grinned across the table "Now who's the liar with the burning pants."

She giggled a little to herself as she carefully ate her ramen. She wasn't wearing pants, but judging by things so far, if she had been there was a good chance they would be highly combustible by the time the night was over.

"What's so funny?" InuYasha asked, slurping his down as robustly as ever, yet not getting a drop on himself.  
"Nothing." She waved him off "I'm just, I can't remember ever being this happy before."

"You really liked the ramen that much huh?" InuYasha teased

"It was spectacular, amazing, out of this world" Kagome exaggerated, throwing her arms around "I will never eat another food, I must have chicken ramen every meal for the rest of my life."

"That works for me." InuYasha smirked a little, then he stood up and pushed a button on Kagome's boom box. Soft romantic piano and flute music began to play, romantic melodies meant for lovers.

InuYasha picked Kagome's hand up, kissing her palm, he turned it over and kissed the knuckles, then placed it over his heart, urging her to her feet.

In dramatic fashion he twirled her in a circle and then dipped her, quickly rewarded with a sharp intake of breath and the burst of giggles he was expecting. He pulled her in close, his arm around her waist, holding the other hand down low.

"InuYasha!" She smiled up into his violet eyes.  
"Where on earth did you learn that?"

"Mama gave me some dance lessons. I can't believe how tough she is. She didn't give up, I even dropped her."

Kagome smiled, her mind flashed with a picture of her mama and InuYasha, trying to learn the dance. It was so sweet, it filled her heart.

"Your lucky Kagome, to have grown up in a family like this. You really care about one another ."

Kagome thought of all she knew about InuYasha's growing years. Mostly pain and rejection.

"You are a part of our family too InuYasha, never forget that." InuYasha bent his head and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I know, you can't begin to imagine how grateful I am for that. I just wonder sometimes what it would have been like if we had been a family, if I'd grown up with parents and a brother who hadn't hated me."

Kagome rested her cheek on his shoulder, holding him tighter, knowing that his last words had hurt to say. She didn't know what to say, there really was nothing to say, so she held him and then changed the subject.

"Do you really think Sesshomaru is the leader of the demons who are rebelling?"

"It's possible I suppose." InuYasha shrugged, still not ready to believe that Sesshomaru would take a turn to what HE would conceder "the dark" side.

"We have to stop them InuYasha, otherwise…"

InuYasha bent his head, covering her mouth with his, successfully silencing her. After a moment he pulled away, he took her face in his hands, brushing her soft cheeks with his thumbs.

"Tonight isn't about Sesshomaru, or the demon underground, or Naraku. Tonight they don't exist. Tonight we are the only people in the world. Tonight there's just you and me." He lowered his head, taking her lips once again.

Kagome felt her heart pounding in her chest, InuYasha had never spoken so intensely about them before , it was exciting and scary at the same time. It was kind of like riding a rollercoaster, one you never wanted to get off of.

InuYasha slid his arms around her, pulling her as tightly against him as he dared. In his hanyou form he often worried that he might squeeze her too hard and hurt her, his human side, while strong, didn't have enough strength to hurt her before she could stop him. He broke the kiss, moving his lips to her cheek, brushing them down her neck and across her shoulder.

Kagome nearly cursed aloud when the music stopped and InuYasha began to pull away. He gave her a chaste kiss, taking her hand and leading her back to the table. He seated her again, putting the blanket back over her legs. He turned away from her, going to kneel by one of the trees.

"InuYasha?"

He turned and put a finger to his lips. When he rose he had five snowballs in his hands. He returned to her, placing the snowballs on the ground, then dropped a blanket to sit on.

"InuYasha…I'm not really dressed for a snowball fight."

InuYasha laughed. "Baka. No snowball fight. Wait…" he reached up, motioning her down to him, he met her halfway, then touched her hair. "May I…? He indicated the comb in back.

Kagome nodded. She felt the comb slide out of her hair, then her hair tumbled over her shoulders in loose ringlets. InuYasha fluffed them out and giving her a slightly wild look.

He sat back, then grinned with a little blush. "I practiced this with your hair down."

Kagome smiled down at him, still wondering a little who this was and what had happened to the real InuYasha. InuYasha lined the snowballs up in front of him, then looked at Kagome.

"I want to tell you a story about two snow balls." He picked up the first snowball.  
"This one, the really strong and powerful one" He grinned " It most of his life alone, and stupid. It was hurt and hated everyone, it mistrusted and refused to depend on anyone."

He picked up the next snowball "The second snowball was beautiful, sweet and good. Innocent and naïve in the ways of the world."

He put the two snowballs side by side "The two snowballs were forced together, even though they didn't like each other much at first. The first snowball changed a little and they became friends, but he was still a real case, the second snowball needed a lot of help. They eventually met three snowballs who along with the second snowball, changed him. They taught him things that made the world look different, and how he looked at the world."

InuYasha picked up the smaller snowball. "The small one, taught him about the importance of family. That no matter who you are, you need that place that is home, the place you belong. That home isn't as much a place as it is a person, The first snowball looked at the second and knew that she was his home."

"The second snowball taught him about courage and humor. That nothing is ever so serious, that it cant be made easier if you have someone to shoulder it with you, to make you laugh when you felt like crying. The first snowball knew that he had never been so happy and content before, and it was because of the second being by his side."

"The last snowball, taught him about forgiveness. That nothing was ever so great that it couldn't be forgiven. He had been given the greatest gift of forgiveness time and time again even though he had long since given up any right to it."

Kagome had a small stream of tears running down her face. InuYasha got onto his knees, wiping her tears. He kissed her softly, taking her hands.

"Because of the other four snowballs, the first snowball knew that she was the one he wanted to spend his life with. She made him happy, she was his home, his family, his best friend."

"InuYasha…" Kagome couldn't stop the tears now if she had wanted to, and at the moment she didn't particularly want to. She reached her hands out, touching his face.

"He loves her like he has never loved another." He pulled her hands away from his face, then picked up the snowball, putting it in her hands.  
"He wants to give himself to her completely"

"InuYasha…I…"

Kagome looked down at the snowball again and for the first time noticed a small bit of white velvet ribbon sticking out. She looked at him, blinking to clear the tears from her eyes. InuYasha motioned to the snowball with his eyes. Kagome pulled on the ribbon, watching as the snowball slowly broke into small pieces.

Kagome was left holding the white velvet ribbon, at the other end, was an diamond engagement ring.

Kagome gasped, realizing suddenly where the ring came from.

_Papa...he gave this to mama under the Goshiboku..where I met InuYasha..._

InuYasha took the ring from her, untying the ribbon.

"Kagome, since you were only fifteen you have been with me, Kami knows why, I didn't deserve your devotion, much less for you to stay at my side. You have given up so much for me, all the things a girl your age should have been doing. I can't give you back all the things you lost out on, but, I wanted you to have this. A night like you've longed for your whole life.  
"When I told Mama what I wanted to do, she gave me this to give you. She said it was her wish that you one day have it"  
His voice dropped down to just above a whisper.  
"I love you Kagome. Say you'll be mine"  
Kagome nodded He slid the ring onto her finger.

Kagome immediately pulled him into a near choke hold, kissing him furiously.

Before she got carried away InuYasha pulled back, chuckling.

"Wait a minute. I'm not done."

"Kami, there's more?"

He nodded, picking up the three snowballs.

"Because even if they are gone, or just not with us in person, they will always be a part of us." InuYasha felt a stab of sadness, thinking of Shippo

He crushed the snowballs into one.  
"They will always be with us

He put it in Kagome's hand. She crumbled the snow away, finding a gold chain with a small chunk of clear diamond looking stone at the end.

"It's beautiful InuYasha…"

He took it from her, then leaned forward, putting it around her neck.

"This is my gift to you. It's adamant, from the Kongosouha. A reminder" He reached into his robe, showing her a matching necklace "of the lessons they taught us. And of their strength. So that during the rough times we can look at the adamant and remember tonight, when we were the only two in the world. Finally, so anyone seeing them will know, like adamant, our love is unbreakable."

Kagome wiped her tears away, then lay her blanket on the ground by InuYasha. She pressed the repeat play button on her boom box so the CD would play back to back without stopping. She knelt by him, then lay her cheek on his chest, her arms sliding around to roam over his back, randomly playing with his hair.

"I love you...InuYasha...so much."

InuYasha pulled her close, his emotion was riding high, he felt like part of a beautiful scroll painting instead of a living breathing being. He could barely comprehend the absolute perfection of what he was experiencing. He had loved Kikyo. He had no doubts about that fact. But there was something different about the way he loved Kagome, perhaps because he was more accepting of who he was now. He felt more free to accept her acceptance of him. And Kagome did accept him, fully, be it human, hanyou or full demon.

"Kami...kami...I love you Kagome"

It had stopped snowing earlier, now it began to snow again. Big huge flakes the size of grapes. InuYasha bent over Kagome, protecting her bare skin with his hair. She untied his ponytail to freely run her fingers through it, while InuYasha's kisses spread over her shoulders, neck and collar bone igniting her own flesh.

InuYasha lifted her chin with his thumb, giving him clear access to her throat. Kagome pulled away, standing. She reached under her arm, unzipped herself then let her dress fall at her feet. She nervously biting the inside of her bottom lip, keeping her eyes locked on InuYasha as her under clothes fell to join her dress. Kagome sat on her knees in front of him, her body fully exposed to him.

InuYasha settled his hands on her hips, moving closer to her, allowing his lips to continue exploring her. Kagome reached for the ties on his hakema, easily pulling it free from the knots. She blushed as they fell down around his knees, her hands oh his backside revealed that removing a fundoshi wouldn't be an issue. She pulled the ties on his robe, pulling it open and down his arms, leaving him in only his split-toe toe socks and sandals. He used his toes to shed himself of those while he reached for the blanket to throw over them, his hands free to roam underneath, searching out her legs, while his tongue tasted her breasts.

"InuYasha…" Kagome moaned his name, her fingers tangled in his hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer.

InuYasha pulled away from her, his breath was coming faster, and he knew he was nearing the point of no return. He knew he could stop himself if need be, but it would be so much easier now than later. Kagome looked up at him, her eyes wide and puzzled. They sparkled in the soft light, snowflakes falling on her eyelashes. When he pulled away she looked almost hurt. InuYasha couldn't bear the look and rushed to erase it.

"Kagome…"He bent his head, unable to resist her soft, wet lips.

"Kami, I love you so much" he breathed against her check, kissing her again, then pulled back onto his elbow so he could look down into the beautiful velvet brown eyes below him.

"I love you too." She said, her hand reaching up to touch the adamant necklace he wore.  
She smiled, hearing his words once again

"….our love is unbreakable."

"Are you sure this is what you want? Now?"

Kagome nodded, blushing.

"I thought you wanted to wait until were married?"

"I did, but….." She looked into his eyes, worried that the look she was seeing was rejection. "You don't want me…"

It wasn't a question but a statement.

InuYasha looked at her, his eyes huge.

"Keh! Baka! What the hell do you think? Don't you feel that down there on your leg? You think that would be like that if I didn't want you?" He pushed his hips into her leg.  
Kagome looked at him, shocked for a second, then she started laughing.

"What so fucking funny?" InuYasha, still annoyed, rolled halfway on top of her, pinning his arms down, one on each side.

"I'm sorry." She waved her hand "I'm not laughing at you. You've been so amazing tonight. I was wondering what happened to the real InuYasha." She started laughing again, finally InuYasha cracked and laughed too. He took her lips again, kissing her fiercely. He pulled back, staring into her eyes.

"Baka." His tone was gentle and full of love "Of course I want you, I just don't want you to do something you will regret."

Kagome pulled him back down to her, she kissed him softly. "I will never regret anything, as long as I do it with you."

InuYasha captured her lips and their necklaces tangled together on her chest.

Adamant intertwined, unbreakable.

* * *

Kagome woke, feeling strong arms around her bare skin. Sometime in the night InuYasha had thrown a bunch more blankets over their heads when the snow had picked up. Kagome sighed. For the past few years she had known InuYasha would be her first, her only. Or she never would… You just didn't feel love, a bond, like this more than once in a lifetime. She had daydreamed their first time, what it would be like, but she had never once pictured making love in a snow castle with snow falling down around them. That was just too perfect, too much to dare to dream for. She flipped the top of the blankets off her head, finding a good half inch of snow had fallen on top of them in the night. She looked over at the snow covered heap that was her dress, hoping it wasn't ruined. In the bright light she caught the flash of the engagement ring she wore, then looked down at the chunk of adamant around her neck. She picked it up, watching it flash in the bright sunlight reflected off the snow.

"Remember…unbreakable."

The words came from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see InuYasha roll up on his elbow. She smiled brightly. The new moon had passed, he was returned to his hanyou state. Kami, how she loved those ears.

Kagome sighed, laying down on the pillow, then turning on her side to face him. He lay back down facing her, hooking a finger in the necklace she wore, pulling her close to him for a kiss.

"Kagome?"

"Hmm?"

"Any regrets?"

"Only that last night couldn't last forever."

InuYasha nodded, then pulled her close to him and flipped the blankets back over them. Kagome snuggled into his chest, holding onto every last second, trying to put off thinking about returning to the well for the battle against Naraku, and the demon underground for as long as possible.

Chapter 15 Preview:

InuYasha and Kagome are in for a MAJOR shock when they meet the leader of the demon rebellion!  
Or I should say, shocks as in PLURAL!

Chapter 15

"Without Warning"

Coming Soon


	15. Chapter Fifteen Without Warning

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, not this most humble fanfiction writer who is probably going to have people throwing rotten tomatoes at me after this chapter! 

Notes:Well, as I said last time guys, the ending for this story came to me and now I am going with it. So, be prepared for the heaviest drama yet, get the puffs ready, take your valuum, have your shrinks phone number handy.

Uh, Little note to Sango the Yokai Slayer...how bout mellowing out on the reviews? Your creeping my kid out. Seriously.

* * *

Loss

Chapter Fifteen

Without Warning

* * *

A month had passed since InuYasha and Kagome had been mated the demon way, at least it was the old way. According to Sato, on the Island, demons were required to apply for a mating blessing from the rulers council. That required blood testing of both parties to assure the purity of their demon heritage. If either the demon or demoness was discovered to have even a trace of human blood both were thrown in jail subject to trial, and both could be executed if it was found they had knowingly attempted to defile the purity of the Island. If they were found innocent, they were subject to exile. 

Luckily for InuYasha and Kagome, there was no rulers council at the shrine, but there also had been no hiding it from Mrs. Higurashi. One look at Kagome and InuYasha's dark red face's and unwillingness to look her in the eye when asked how the evening went, had essentially made it a no-brainer.

Mrs. Higurashi knew there was no use getting upset about it, they would be married in four months anyway, in a private service with just the family. She also knew there was no point now in forcing them to separate bedrooms, they would only sneak around anyway. She did however strictly warn InuYasha if he backed out and didn't marry Kagome now, he would be losing a body part.

It had also been just over a month since InuYasha and Kagome had requested the meeting with the leader of the demon rebellion. Sato had promised to call as soon as he had word, and the only time he had called was three weeks before, to tell Kagome she had passed her finals and would be allowed to participate in graduation with her class in the spring if she wished.

Finally one afternoon five weeks after InuYasha had asked for the meeting Sato called to tell it had been arranged. InuYasha was to hide his hair and ears, dress human, and leave Tessiaga behind, or conceal it well at the very least. When they met Sato he welcomed them eagerly, hurrying them into the waiting car. He explained to them that the leader of the rebellion had been living in Tokyo under false pretenses. He could only tell them that the leader, what would be in demon age, a middle aged Inu, was most anxious to see them if they really were who they claimed to be.

Sato parked behind a busy factory, looked around, then hurried them inside. They climbed several flights of stairs, then Sato opened a door into what looked like someone's living quarters.

It wasn't the kind of place that Kagome would want to live in however. More like a museum. What looked like expensive vases, antique furniture, and stuffy art filled every corner. "It looks like Sesshomaru" InuYasha whispered to Kagome as they walked through the room.

Sato walked to the far wall, punched a code in what looked like a telephone, then set it down again. The sofa flipped up, making Kagome gasp, opening a door they had to hunch down to get under. Sato led them up another flight of stairs to a door where Sato punched in another code on what looked like another phone. This time the door opened to a long hallway. At the end of the hallway Sato pushed in a final code, then set the phone down. When it rang, Sato picked it up, punched in the same code once again, opening up a hidden door.

The room once again appeared to be someone's living quarters. The similarities ended there however. This room was comfortable, meant for friends to sit in, and share stories, without worries about finger prints or staining furniture. It was tidy, but not rigorously so. It was loaded with plants of all kinds, bonsai to philodendron. Looking closer, Kagome thought she even saw a marijuana plant hidden behind the others.

A deep voice called out from another room.

"Yosh? That you"

InuYasha and Kagome looked at one another. That voice wasn't at all familiar to them. It was too relaxed, too friendly sounding.

"Yeah, I got em"

"Cool, I'll be just a sec."

_"Cool? A sec?"_ No way in hell was this InuYasha's stick up his ass brother Sesshomaru Kagome thought to herself, only to be given pause at his next words.

"Hey Jaken, go get those guys set up with something to drink would ya?" The man yelled out once again.

Jaken??

Kagome was half expecting to see the ugly little green imp come waddling into the room, She looked at InuYasha, his eyes were as huge as hers. He reached out and took her hand. This was just too freaking weird.

Both let their breath out in a rush when a young man who looked about twenty emerged from the hallway. His hair was black, as were his eyes. He was tall and muscular, and he bore no signs of a demon heritage, until a closer look revealed very pointed demon ears.

"I got it pops"

"Hey" He smiled politely. He walked past Sato, completely ignoring him, noticing the pretty girl in the room.

"Hello" He said, his voice instantly deeper. He took Kagome's hand, bowing to her. "I'm Jaken. And you are?"

InuYasha and Kagome's eyebrow's shot up, they hadn't had to deal with this since…

"Mated to the hanyou on her left I believe." Sato said, chuckling "so back off Jaken, before you get yourself killed."

Jaken let go of Kagome, blushing slightly. He bowed first to InuYasha. "My apologies sir," then he turned, bowing to Kagome "And also to you." He sniffed, then gave Kagome a sudden, surprised look. "Oh. My apologies again, I wasn't paying attention"

Kagome blushed.

InuYasha smiled, returning the boys bow. He relaxed, there was no way in hell this was Sesshomaru's kid. Sesshomaru? Teach a kid about being humble and admitting your wrong? Never!

"If you will follow me please?" He waved them into the adjoining room. It held a modern table with comfortable chairs, and a traditional table, surrounded by cushions. Across the room was a small bar and refrigerator. When they were seated at the modern table he took drink orders, then sat with them, chatting with Sato and getting to know the others.

"This is a home" InuYasha thought "Like Kagome's. Its made for friends and a family, Sesshomaru never wanted or had either."

The man came into the room then, asked to talk to Sato privately about a business matter. InuYasha watched him through the glass door to his office across the hall as he darted around. He was tall like Sesshomaru, with long hair, but there the similarity ended.

His hair was jet black, like Kagome's, as long as Sesshomaru's but this man wore his hair in long braids just behind his ears. His ear's were pointed, demon like, like the kid. But like the kid he had no stripes, no crescent moon. And most telling of all, this man had two arms.

Kagome reached over, taking his hand under the table. Feeling him relax as the tension left his body, knowing there was no way in hell this guy was Sesshomaru, he let his guard down a little.

Sato opened the office door, followed out by the leader of the rebellion. Sato took his chair, and the man went to the bar, getting a soda, then joined them at the table.  
He looked at Kagome for a minute, then at InuYasha for several. Finally he spoke.

"Well shit. So those time travel rumors were true." He looked at Kagome.

"P…pardon me?" Kagome gaped at him, how could he possibly…

"It's okay, I no longer hate you, though in the time your familiar with, that is still the case sadly."

"Who the fuck are you?" InuYasha spat, his arm going around Kagome protectively.

"Damn Yosh, they really did a good job downstairs didn't they? You don't recognize your own brother InuYasha?" Sesshomaru leaned forward, touching InuYasha's free hand.

"You…You can't be." InuYasha pulled away from him, looking at him closely "Sesshomaru…"

"I'm sure it's hard to believe but…"

"You don't even look like Sesshomaru." Kagome looked at him suspiciously. Then she turned to Sato "Is this another set up by the underground?" She stood, her body starting to shake. "I want to leave, now."

InuYasha stood with her, his arm around her protectively.

"Kagome, I promise." Sato said "This isn't a set up. Please just hear him out."

"Ask him questions…stuff only pops would know." Jaken suggested.

"Good idea. Please…give me a chance to prove who I am. InuYasha, Kagome, I know you recently went through a horrible ordeal with the underground, I don't blame you for being wary, but, just give me a chance to prove I mean you no harm."

InuYasha looked at Kagome, she nodded. He helped her back into her seat.

"Thank you Kagome" Sesshomaru smiled

"Don't thank me yet." She glared at him, mistrust oozing from every pore.

InuYasha pulled Tessiaga from where he had concealed it, having it ready.

"Told you he'd bring it Yosh." Sesshomaru said, grinning and shooting a look over at Sato.

"Why do you look so different? How did you get two arms again?" InuYasha sat forward, obvious he was going to accept no pleasantries until he proof.

"My family and I are in hiding, we live as humans. My hair is dyed, the arm is a prosthetic, wonderful things they are doing these days with prosthetics. It hardly effects me anymore that you cut it off."

InuYasha leaned to Kagome, whispering. She whispered something back and he sat back.  
(He'd asked what a prosthetic was)

"That's commonly known" Kagome looked at him suspiciously.

"True. But its not so commonly known that it was done in our fathers final resting place, InuYasha's first act with Tessiaga, in order to protect Kagome, from me, since I had already tried once to kill her because I was jealous that a mere human had removed our fathers fang from the stone. And after all the trouble I made master Jaken go to help me steal the black pearl from your eye."

"That could be a lucky guess" Kagome said, a half smile on her face.

Sesshomaru slapped his hand down on the table, throwing his head back, laughing heartily. "Indeed"

"What about your markings? The stripes and the crescent?" InuYasha was somewhat closer to believing but not quite there yet. Sesshomaru reached for his face, then stopped.

"Wait, I know how to convince you Kagome, InuYasha. When I do this, try not to see my hair." He nodded at them.

InuYasha and Kagome nodded in return, watching as he lowered his head. He pulled three strips of plastic off his face, seemed to be concentrating on something quite difficult, then rose his chin.

His stripes and crescent were now present, his eyes blazing red. Then he spoke, a cold voice from the past.

"Tell her to stop InuYasha, if you value her life tell her now. Have you no pride or do you regularly hide behind a human to fight your battles, a woman at that, you shame Father, you shame all InuYokai!"

InuYasha and Kagome both started, jumping backwards involuntarily in their chairs. "It's….really.." Kagome could barely speak.  
"Shit!" InuYasha gasped "It really fucking is you!"

"Yeah" Sesshomaru said "It really fucking is me." he grinned, laughing a bit "You always did have a way with words little bro."

* * *

"I don't believe this" InuYasha said, stretching a piece of flesh colored latex "Your like a totally different person." 

InuYasha and Kagome now sat alone with Sesshomaru, the latter having asked for some time to speak with them alone. Sato and Jaken had gone into another room to settle an old score at the pool table.

"I guess you could say I am" Sesshomaru said, nodding agreement "I am five hundred years older for one thing. Some of it, like my appearance, has been changed by necessity, The personality, well, I really enjoyed the 60's and as Jaken likes to say, I pulled an entire forest out of my ass."

InuYasha grinned, thinking how adept the description was.

"Yeah, I can see how much you agree you little shit." Sesshomaru laughed, tossing a piece of crumbled paper at InuYasha.

"Sorry" He grinned "It's just…So… true."

"InuYasha! Be nice. " Kagome elbowed him in the side "Have you a wife Sesshomaru?"

"My first wife, the children's mother, died in childbirth. I had just remarried when the ruler took over the Island. The children and I were taken one night out of our beds, Tae, my wife, was murdered. The children and I staged an accident a few months later and escaped. We have been "dead" since. Living here as humans. "

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru" Kagome said, InuYasha nodded in agreement. The room was quiet, finally Kagome spoke.

"How old is Jaken? You mentioned other children?"

"Jaken is almost two hundred. He has two sisters and a younger brother. Rin lives in America in the state called California. She is three years younger than Jaken. Kagura is four years younger than Rin, she is away right now with her younger brother." He is the baby, only one hundred-fifty years old" He looked at InuYasha "his name is InuYasha."

"InuYasha?" InuYasha's jaw dropped open "You named your son after me?" Sesshomaru nodded

InuYasha was shocked.

"Aren't you my brother?" Sesshomaru looked at InuYasha intently. He smiled.

"So" InuYasha began, still trying to absorb all of this "What happened to the imp and the little girl who traveled with you?"

"Jaken died at the ripe old age of 936, about 250 years ago now since he died. Rin of course, being human died about 450 years ago now. She was married, to a young lord from the south, then had two daughters and three sons. I tried to stay in touch with her bloodline, but eventually I was winnowed out. Sadly, it happens in demon/human relationships."

He smiled sadly, then looked over at Kagome.

"Kagome, When is your child due?"

"My child?" Kagome laughed "I'm not…"

Sesshomaru looked at InuYasha "You didn't know? I could smell it as soon as you walked in, Jaken told me he smelled it a little too late" he chuckled.

InuYasha blushed

"Wait a minute!" Kagome slapped InuYasha on the arm, forcing him to look at her. He grinned a little.

"Am I pregnant InuYasha?"

He nodded, "I think so." Kagome's smile spread across her face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She leaned forward, kissing him.

"I… honestly, I had just begun to suspect it. Im not like Sesshomaru, my scent isn't as strong, and mama flipped out enough when she found out about the night at the snow castle. Threatening to cut things off and shit Kagome, I didn't want to say anything until I was sure...we didn't plan on it right now, and…"

"Were having a baby!" Kagome suddenly yelled loudly, pulling him to her.

"You'll want to do the bonding mix now,"

"Bonding mix? InuYasha asked

"Of course, we hadn't discovered it in your time, you wouldn't know of it. About two hundred years ago, it was discovered that if a demon and a human exchange blood through wounds the human takes on characteristic of the demon, the lifespan and bodily strength and healing ability, others depending on the human. However, it only works in the first trimester of the humans first pregnancy . The demons blood and a babies demon blood apparently overcome the human blood, strengthening it."

"That means that…"

"Instead of losing one another after a few years, we would have centuries together?" InuYasha asked

"Yes, but you must do it soon."

"Well, we can now that I know that I'm pregnant" Kagome elbowed InuYasha again.

"Guess I let the cat out of the bag" Sesshomaru laughed, watching Kagome, InuYasha smothering kisses on her stomach.

Kagome smiled…"It's okay, as long as I am forgiving you for trying to kill me, I can forgive you for this as well."

* * *

They had gathered in the living room, stretching out and catching up. The shock had worn off and Kagome and InuYasha both glowed in excitement. A thought came to Kagome. 

"Sesshomaru, Why haven't we heard of or seen InuYasha in this time?"

Sesshomaru never answered the question.

The door was kicked in and the room exploded , InuYasha was thrown by the explosion, the last thing he saw was Kagome and Sesshomaru, thrown in the other direction. He opened his mouth and screamed.

"Kagome!!!!!!!!!"

Everything went black.

* * *

InuYasha opened his eye's, he moaned, feeling like every muscle in his body had systematically been beaten with a hammer.  
"What the fuck?" He tried to piece everything together.  
The door had been kicked open, something rolled in on the floor, and then… 

Kagome …she had been thrown away from him.

InuYasha forced himself into a sitting position, looking around the debris field that had once been a pleasant room. He caught sight of one of Sesshomaru's braids. Lurching forward, he crawled on his hands and knees towards them. His knee was cut on something hard and he swore, looking back. He allowed himself to sit back once again, seeing the hard object his knee had been cut on. Adamant. He tried to pick it up but it was still connected to something.

Kagome…

"Kagome"  
InuYasha began pulling debris off of her, his mind nearly gone. He reached her at the bottom of the pile, then turned her over.  
Her face and arms were a mass of cuts and blood, blood had run from her mouth and nose, leaving a pool under her cheek.

Her eyes were open, but vacant.  
The eyes of his nightmares.  
InuYasha felt on her neck where Kagome had taught him to feel for a pulse. He found none.  
There was no breath.  
There was life.  
InuYasha pulled her into his arms, and again wept upon her chest.  
This time his blue angels arms were unable to bring him comfort.

They had been stilled.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen Preview 

His Wife, Unborn child, and brother were just murdered by the demon underground, at the order of the Ruler.

In the face of the ultimate Tragedy, Can InuYasha commit the ultimate betrayal?

The Conclusion to Loss!


	16. Chapter Sixteen When All Is Said & Done

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Not me. 

Notes: Well, shit. Sighhhhh. I feel a little bit of sadness now that this project is finished. I hope you all will like how I finished it I think I found something fairly unique. I want to take a few to thank some great people who rock and were pretty cool giving me encouragment and I so loved reading your reviews

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xsimplicity, Inugoddess (though she boycotted chapter 15!),longlostdreams,Kouga's Archi,Miroku'z Girl,Inume-blue,inunewbe,Silver Wolf Pups

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My Bud from I.nu

katana08

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And uh Sango the Yokai Slayer...Please seek theraphy

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I Know, I am forgetting people, so if you arent on here, I am soooooooo sorry, im an air head, blame it on my staying up all night to get this conclusion up.

I will be coming back with something new, likely by the end of the week. Im thinking about trying an AU, I definately want to do something where nobody DIES. When you review, how about tossing me a few bones woof woof...aka suggestions!!

You guys Rock, I've loved sharing this story with you and I hope you will come on board my next project.

All I got is Puppy Love 4 u guys!

CJ

* * *

Loss

Chapter Sixteen

When All Is Said And Done

* * *

InuYasha flew through the forest, following the scent that he had picked up about an hour before, the scent that would lead him to Sesshomaru. InuYasha was hit by another throbbing stab of pain as he thought about them. His brother, his nephew, his wife and unborn child…all lying dead in the ruins of a decimated factory in Tokyo in the year 2006. Tears once again began to fall down his face as he remembered how, just hours ago; Sesshomaru had confirmed that Kagome was in fact pregnant.

_"InuYasha…am I pregnant?"_

_"I think so…"_

InuYasha swerved quickly, barely avoiding a collision with a low tree bough. He landed in the soft grass of the forest floor, he had to get his head pulled back together, if he was reckless and got himself killed by having a stupid accident Kagome would stay dead. She had to live! Even if it meant sacrificing…  
No, he wasn't ready to think about going that far, not yet.

He jumped up into the nearest tree, using it as a launching pad to regain flight. The sky looked clear for some space, so he let his mind drift again, back, back to …

_Flashback_

"Kagome…oh Kami, Kagome! No! Don't leave me!"

InuYasha sobbed into her chest, desperately willing her heart to start beating again.

"Kagome...please...come back…please…I need you."

But she wasn't coming back. His angel was gone.

All was lost.

His eyes fell on a large piece of broken glass on the floor; he reached for it, holding it in his hand as if it were his truth.

In that moment, he completely understood what had driven Sango to take her own life. Could he be as brave? What kind of a fucking life did he have without her? He had none. Nothing. He lifted the piece of glass to his neck, prepared to make one swift, deep gash.

"InuYasha…" Sesshomaru watched him from across the floor. "Please …stop."

InuYasha lowered the glass, tears pouring down his face.

"Sesshomaru?"

"It's okay little bro, you don't …there's a way... You can bring her back." His voice was soft, getting weak. InuYasha looked down his body. Sesshomaru was fast losing blood from a wound to his stomach.

"How?"

"Tensaiga"

InuYasha's heart sped up. Of course! Sesshomaru held Tensaiga!

"Tell me where it is, I'll get it and…"

"Not that…simple"

"What do you mean?" InuYasha was shocked

"The ruler has possession of both Tessiaga and Tensaiga. He used... shards of Goshinboku no tama...a tama much like the Shikon no tama to corrupt them. When Naraku died, all of Japan celebrated, as a reward, Goshinboku expelled a tama, meant to work with the Shikon to bring peace, ending the warring between the lords."

"What happened?" InuYasha felt Sesshomaru's strength waning

"The ruler was once … good, in anger he stole both tama and the evil of Naraku that still tainted the Shikon no tama tainted the Goshinboku no tama. He used that power to control both fangs and take power. InuYasha, I don't have much more time… There are two ways to bring Kagome back. You must go to the past and get Tensaiga from me, steal it if you must. Warning me will do no good, I will not listen. Or you must kill the ruler before he takes the tama and receives the power. You don't have long, Naraku dies very soon. Go now, you have to save Kagome, and if you can, save Jaken too…"

"What about you?"

Sesshomaru laughed, "You always were too good for your own good….." Sesshomaru closed his eyes; he coughed and then was still.

He could save them, all of them. Get Tensaiga, or kill the ruler.

InuYasha heard coughing behind him. Sato, looking to be unharmed but for some cuts and scraped was rousing.

InuYasha gently laid Kagome on the floor. He put a pillow under her head, and then closed her eyes and bent down to kiss her lips.  
"I'll be back soon Kagome."

And so will you.

_End flashback_

InuYasha sniffed the air, noticing that Sesshomaru's scent was so close that it was like he was in the same room. Fuck was he dreading this. If only it was the future Sesshomaru he was coming to for a favor.

It didn't matter. He would get on his knees and beg if he had to. He would hand over Tessiaga if he had to. Anything for the use of Tensaiga for a few hours.

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru"

The voice was faint, but clearly that of Sesshomaru's toady.

"InuYasha. Why do you trespass?" He turned, not quite quick enough to dodge Sesshomaru's fist. InuYasha tumbled to the ground; Sesshomaru was on him in a flash.

InuYasha laughed. "Nice to see you too bro."

Sesshomaru cocked an eyebrow at the strange language, and then dismissed it as being the fault of the human his brother insisted on passing his time with.

"What is it you want InuYasha." Sesshomaru didn't seem to be much in the mood to fight, he hadn't since Kagura died.  
"I…I"

"Out with it or leave. This Sesshomaru hasn't the time to waste; there are new rumors about Naraku's whereabouts." Sesshomaru glared in the direction he was traveling, due south.

"I need Tensaiga. Just for…" when he looked up Sesshomaru was already walking away.

"Sesshomaru, don't walk away. Please."

Sesshomaru was intrigued by InuYasha's sudden use to manners.

"Please you say? Well little brother, have you learned…"

"Kagome is dead…in her ti…land"

Sesshomaru was shocked, not by InuYasha's tears, but by the sudden surge of compassion he felt.

"Why did you not bring her here to this Sesshomaru?"

"It was impossible." He pulled Tessiaga from his sash "I will trade, and when I am done, I will bring Tensaiga back and you can keep Tessiaga."

Sesshomaru actually gasped. But, he just…couldn't…if InuYasha had brought the girl here, perhaps. But he would not go into battle with Naraku without Tensaiga. If something happened to Jaken, it was the only way to bring him back.

"This Sesshomaru has no use for a fang that burns his hand each time that he uses it"  
Sesshomaru began to walk away.

"Then I'll fucking kill you for it!" InuYasha screamed, Tessiaga blazing to life. He ran toward Sesshomaru, only to be met by Sesshomaru's fist once again. He was thrown back, hard against a tree, the wind knocked out of him.

"Sesshomaru" InuYasha gasped out

Sesshomaru stopped but didn't turn.

"She died last night…in your… apartment, in the year 2006... Along with you and,…and your son, his name was Jaken. She was…pregnant…and now…"

InuYasha glared at the back of his head.

"You were a great guy Sesshomaru, Hell, you even liked me."

InuYasha took a last longing glance at Tensaiga, and then jumped high into the tree.

Jaken sneered after him. "Such senseless human sentimentality. As if you would name a child after me my Lord." Jaken turned and began to fuss at Rin.

Sesshomaru looked back over his shoulder quickly. "Indeed."

"Rin, why must you always ride? Wouldn't you like to walk?"

"Rin is tired Master Jaken!"

InuYasha walked through the high grass, sniffing out his next target. His last chance to bring Kagome back.

"Kami give me strength to follow through"

He shuddered, remembering…

_Flashback_

Sato looked at the hanyou sitting next to him. A car honked behind him and he waved, proceeding through the light. InuYasha seemed to be taking this all rather calmly.

"So, you know exactly what to do then?" Sato said, rolling the window up against the early morning chill.

"I'm bringing Kagome back, if I have to kill Sesshomaru to do it."

"Perhaps he will hand over Tensaiga peacefully." Sato sighed

InuYasha wanted to laugh, but he didn't have it in him.

"You didn't know Sesshomaru then. He had no heart, no conscience. He didn't even care about the two that traveled with him."

"There is always the alternative plan of course"  
InuYasha nodded sadly "Kill the ruler, Takai-Tenshi."

"Yeah. It shouldn't be hard. From what Sesshomaru told me, he wasn't much of anything until he got hold of the two tama."

"That would explain why I have never heard of him." InuYasha willed the car to go faster, the longer Kagome was gone, the weaker he felt.

"He hasn't always been known as Takai-tenshi. He took that name as an adult. Before that his name was Shippo."

InuYasha's mind screamed, his face turned ashen while he gasped for air.  
SHIPPO? No! No! It's impossible…it can't be…

"InuYasha-sama…are you…okay?"

"This Shippo…he wasn't a kitsune was he?" InuYasha felt his heart pounding against his chest, ready to explode.

Shippo? Responsible for all of this? All those dead humans and hanyou? For Kagome and their baby?

"Yes, he is. How did you,…you know him?"

InuYasha nodded.

Fuck ! Fuck! Fuck!

HE HAD to get that fang from Sesshomaru! If he couldn't, he, …he wouldn't have any other choice…

He would have to kill Shippo to save Kagome.

_End Flashback_

InuYasha stood over the borough where the kitsune slept, Tessiaga sheathed in his hands. He would make it fast, and painless. "I promise." he whispered

Voices from long ago came to him, as if floating on the morning breeze….

_"You hold shards of Shikon no Tama" A crazy looking pink balloon chomped on InuYasha's head.  
"Oh he's so cute!" Kagome smiled_

_"She's your woman, your suppose to be protecting her"  
The little kitsune sneered at him._

_"InuYasha…thank you, for helping me avenge my father"  
The kitsune and Kagome stood bathed in foxfire._

InuYasha felt tears began to pour down his cheeks.

Shippo! He pulled Tessiaga from its sheath.

_"Hey, InuYasha," The kitsune laughed waving a box of pocky and a box of Ramen under his nose "Guess who's back, and look what she brought me, and she didn't bring you any!"_

_"Then I'll just have to take yours runt!" Inuyasha jumped up to give chase, Shippo immediately ran to hide behind Kagome_

_"Why didn't you bring me any?" InuYasha demanded of Kagome "I didn't know you wanted any," Kagome teased, trying to dodge him._  
_InuYasha growled and tackled her, tickling her. Shippo jumped on his back, "I'll save you Lady Kagome!" He screamed, "I'll save you"_

_"Who's gonna save you runt?" InuYasha turned on the kitsune, pinning him with one hand and tickling with the other. Kagome hugging him from behind, whispering in his ear that she brought him some.  
"I know," he laughed "but this is fun anyway"_

InuYasha raised Tessiaga, Tears pouring down his face, wetting the front of his hoari.

"Why the fuck did it have to come to this?!" His mind screamed

InuYasha could hear the sound of Shippo's laughter, mixing with his and Kagome's on the wind.

InuYasha, Kagome, Shippo, Miroku and Sango. They were a family once. He'd had a family. When they had lost Miroku and Sango, they had lost themselves.

"I fucked up." InuYasha thought, "I failed and they paid."

He looked down at Shippo. His life had barely started, he deserved more.

"I can't do this."

InuYasha sat back; he took a deep breath and slid Tessiaga back into its sheath. He reached down and ran his claws gently through Shippo's hair.

"It's okay Shippo, I won't hurt you. I can't, your too important, like Kagome. There's one more way to bring Kagome back."

InuYasha wiped his face with his sleeves, then stood and went to see Kaede.

Shippo blinked both eyes open, then quickly got up to follow InuYasha.

He had to know why InuYasha had been about to kill him!

------

InuYasha sat on the roots of Goshinboku, quietly waiting. It should be happening anytime now. He had only asked for a little time to say goodbye to Goshinboku, hoping it might somehow whisper his farewell to Kagome. Not that she would know who the hell InuYasha was.  
He reached down into his robes, pulling out the chunk of adamant.

"Our love is unbreakable." He whispered the words.

"I will always love you Kagome, even though we will never meet"

Kaede should be writing the warning in the shrine scrolls any minute. The one warning Kagome to stay far from the well, particularly on her fifteenth birthday. Kagome would never be pulled into the well, the spell on him would never be broken, the Shikon no Tama would never be torn from her body and shattered. Shippo's parents would never be killed, Naraku would be easier to kill, and Miroku could do it easily without the tama. Sango wouldn't lose her family. Kikyo could stay at rest. InuYasha laid his head back against Goshinboku, his eyes suddenly heavy.

This must be it.

I love you Kagome.

He squeezed the piece of adamant tightly in his hand one last time, as he squeezed the tears from his eyes.

I love you so much…

He closed his eyes, and fell into blackness.

* * *

Sunlight insisted on pounding on his eyelids. Damn it, he had just gone to sleep. Wait just a fucking minute; he wasn't supposed to wake up at all.

InuYasha opened his eyes; he was still sitting on Goshinboku, the piece of adamant still clutched tightly in his hand. He sighed deeply, Kaede wasn't the type to break a promise to do something, obviously, it hadn't worked. The only thing left now was for him to tell Kagome's family. They had a right to know that she was…

InuYasha jumped into the well, surfaced on the other side, and jumped out. He immediately picked up Kagome's scent as usual, feeling his heart leap in his chest. Her scent would linger for sometime.

There was no point in telling them that she had been pregnant. Why make things worse? InuYasha's mind was a jumble of thoughts, somehow he had to bring Kagome home, and make arrangements for Sesshomaru and his son too.

The sound of crying hit his ears and he rushed to a window. Mrs. Higurashi sat at the table, head down, weeping into her arms. Gramps tried to calm her, patting her gently on the back.

"Damn it" InuYasha thought, "They already know." He let himself in the house, walking slowly into the kitchen.

He pulled a chair out at the table, and sat.

"Mama"

Gramps turned on his with venom "Shut up boy, talk to her with respect"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry" InuYasha bowed, doing his best to keep the tears at bay.

"Higurashi-sama…I don't know what to say; besides…I am so sorry"

Mrs. Higurashi lifted her head "You're sorry? You're sorry? Well it's a little late for that now isn't it? That damage is done"

"I've spent all day trying to reverse it; I even tried sending a warning in the ancient scrolls"

"Ancient scrolls!" gramps glared at him again "Useless! Since the Shrine burnt to the ground in 1923 and nearly all of the ancient scrolls were lost!"

"That's why it didn't work." InuYasha understood

"Haven't you ever heard of protection InuYasha?" Mrs. Higurashi yelled at him, slamming her hand on the table.

"It was so sudden."

"Not that sudden! You must have suspected something…."

"No! I had no idea! My brother and his son both tried, I couldn't do much. I was way over in the corner, all limp and half dead!"

"Your brother?" Gramps yelled

"His…Son?" Mrs. Higurashi "What kind of sick family do you come from InuYasha?"

InuYasha stood from the table, knocking his chair over. He went to the dish rack, pulling out a large knife.

"It's not my families fault. Blame me." He slapped the knife on the table "I have no life anyway, please kill me" He tore his robes apart in front, baring his chest.

"I'd have to say that is a little bit extreme." Mrs. Higurashi said, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Just take the damn knife and kill me. Spill my blood."

"Boy, what in kami name has gotten into you?" Gramps looked at him like he was nuts.

InuYasha heard footsteps behind him, bare feet padding into the kitchen.

"Mama, are you over your nervous breakdown yet or…" Kagome saw InuYasha kneeling on the floor, his robes torn open and the knife on the table.

"Mama, Gramps, the last I heard, murder was still illegal."

InuYasha was in shock. He breathed in huge gasps of air, trying to comprehend that Kagome was really alive standing behind him.

"Tell that to InuYasha-kun, he's the one who seems to want us to kill him."

"Just because you're upset that I am pregnant before the wedding? Get over it already."

InuYasha had just began to breathe normally again, when he felt Kagome's hands on his shoulders. She bent down and kissed his cheek "It's sweet InuYasha, really, but like I said before, mothers are suppose to do that."

"Hai" Mrs. Higurashi agreed, "I'm just doing what I am suppose to. But what is this about your brother being on Kagome?"

"InuYasha!" Kagome slapped at him

InuYasha took a deep breath, pulling Kagome into his lap, kissing her thoroughly, not caring a bit that her family watched, or that they were seeing him cry.

"Never mind. It was just a misunderstanding."

* * *

Kagome and InuYasha stood in front of the vacant factory building.

"This whole thing is just…incredible InuYasha"  
Kagome clutched his hand, brushing her hair out of her face.

"I know. I know it sounds weird, but I swear it's the truth." He dropped her hand, and then pulled her against him, kissing her cheek.

"I know, you would never make up something so horrible." Kagome rested the back of her head against his chest, feeling the adamant rub her scalp.

"I wish I knew what happened to Sesshomaru and Jaken." He put his chin on top of her head.

"Well, Sato-sama has never met them, or at least that's what he says. He also says he never heard of a demon underground. And the way he laughed at me when I mentioned demons…I kind of think he was being honest."

"But then, where are they all?"

They were both quiet for a few minutes, listening to the wind blow.

InuYasha shrugged "Let's go."

Inside the factory, a shutter flipped shut. The man turned

around, smiling at his son and friend.

"Well guys we did it." He picked up his glass of soda, clinking glasses with them

"Pops, why don't you want uncle InuYasha to know you're here?"

Sesshomaru turned, looking at the window, playing with the end of his silver braid.

"That morning, when he came asking for Tessiaga, I didn't give it to him. And it's a good thing too, because I ended up saving both Rin and Jaken with it. But I swore that I would never forget his pain, the agony I saw in his eyes, and I would make sure Kagome, didn't die."

"Well, Sesshomaru…" Sato said, smiling "To your success, and continued peace on the Island."

* * *

_Post Script:  
Shippo grew up to be a model citizen, a painter who eventually moved to New York in America. His biggest achievement however wasn't in the world of art; it was that he hadn't been caught when he set the fire that burned down the Higurashi shrine…._

* * *

Epilogue

InuYasha, Kagome and Shippo, stood in the middle of the crater where Miroku had died five years before. In the middle, two small markers had been placed, one for Miroku and one where InuYasha had buried Sango's ashes.

"It's been five years." Shippo said on a sigh. The past five years had been good to him; he now stood almost to Kagome's waist, his hair halfway down his back.

"Yeah" InuYasha said, giving Shippo's ponytail a little tug, bringing forth a squeak and a shared smile.

"It's odd; I still expect to see Miroku walk into Kaede's hut any minute." Kagome shook her head "Or to hear a slap behind me out of nowhere."

"I know. Me too." InuYasha bent his head and kissed her cheek

"Ewww" Shippo groaned "Are you gonna start that mushy crap up again?"

"And what if we do?" InuYasha glared down at Shippo

Shippo broke into a run, yelling back. "You planning on knocking her up again too? Three and counting huh InuYasha?" he laughed as InuYasha gave chase.

Kagome's smiled, rubbing her hand over her very pregnant tummy, watching InuYasha tackle Shippo and tickle him in the high grass. She turned back to the two graves, walked forward, laying flowers on both markers. She turned away, a smile on her face as she remembered…

_"Now Sango...Do you really think that I would take advantage of the situation and grope you?"_

_"In a minute!"_

_"Sango" Miroku smiled "You wound me"_

_"I'll wound you alright Houshi-sama"_

_"Sango, you know I save myself only for you"_

_"Aaaaaaaggghhh!!!!!!! I warned you Houshi-sama!"_

_"No! Sango! I'll be good, I promise!"_

_Miroku winked "Very good"_

_Slap_


	17. A note of Thanks, From CJ,,Please Read!

_Just a little thank you note... _

_I want to thank everyone who followed and reviewed "Loss"._

_ I so loved sharing it with you guys and reading your often humorous comments ...a lot of the time, they gave me a laugh when I really needed it._

_So, I want to say a huge THANK YOU to each and every one of you!!  
_

* * *

_I got kicked in the head last night by inspiration for my new project, not an AU, though I am concidering running one concurrent with my new one...not sure yet though._

_The New Project is called "The Search" and it is posted!_

_Hope you will check it out, and once again, my warmest thanks, my deepest hopes that you have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!_

_Puppy Love 4 all_

_CJ_


	18. The Rewrites Introduction

_Novemeber 25,06 _

* * *

_Dear Friends,_

_As I previously mentioned, I received several e-mails and comments about the weak_

_ ending of this story "Loss". All I can really say is that "Loss" was a heavy write and it_

_ got to be rather depressing to write. Now that I have had a few weeks away from the_

_ project I am ready to fix it, I decided a couple weeks ago to rewrite the ending and post it,_

_ what follows is the new ending. I have left the old ending for those who liked that ending_

_ as well._

_Some of it is rewrites of previous chapters, so the titles will look familiar, but read them_

_ anyway please or you might miss an important piece of information. I am coming to the_

_ end of Part One of "The Search" so I might take a short break before I start part two of_

_ "The Search" to write the ending to this. Not sure if I will need one or two completely new_

_ chapters since I don't have it all completely worked out yet in my head._

_I hope that you will enjoy this! And as usual, please review!_

_One final note, you might wish to go back and re-read chapter ten "Saviours of the_

_ Arrowhead" the new ending picks up at chapter 11, Blue Angel. _

_Puppy Love!_

_  
CJ_


	19. The Rewrites Chapter Eleven ,,Blue Angel

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, not me.. how I sigh and wish that I had only been the one to dream of the sexy puppy in red ...

* * *

Notes: He's back! Our favorite villian, Sinepon! Please review!!!!

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Blue Angel

* * *

Kagome sat staring out of the window at the first snowflakes of the season. She was trying to act brave, but the truth was her hands were shaking horribly. The door behind her opened and closed, but she didn't bother turning around, she already knew who it was, it was the other man in the room that she was puzzled about.

_-Flashback-_

"Higurashi-san, the truth is, Sato is under investigation by the school board for student harassment" Oto, one of the security guards told her and InuYasha

"If you would be willing to give a statement and testify, you would make ten students to come forward about his conduct, the school board couldn't ignore that, and it would be enough for the police to open their own investigation." Chin, the other guard added.

"Ten? Why so many?" Kagome was shocked

"Well, with all due respect, your kids. Kids often lack respect for authority, and they also stick together. To the school board, it just looks like a group of kids don't like this guy and want him gone." Oto shook his head sadly

"And that's just what that jerk is counting on to get away with it?" Kagome asked "Unfortunately, yes." Chin shook his head "This guys been doing this for awhile, he's pretty secure that he can get away with it."

Kagome was silent for a minute, her head working over time.

"What if you got him on tape harassing someone? Can the school board use that?"

"Well sure, but who would be willing to put up with him to do it."

"Me."

"You would…"

"Uh…Kagome? Can I talk to you?" InuYasha broke in.

"Sure, just a minu…"

"Now…" He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen

"What the fuck do you think your doing?" InuYasha practically yelled into her face.

"InuYasha, Kagome, is there a problem?" Mrs. Higurashi turned from the sink.

"InuYasha, you heard them, they cant get this guy, no one will listen"

"So you volunteer to go chat with him? Are you out of your mind? Have you forgotten…"

"You WHAT?" Mrs. Higurashi yelled.

"Now see what you did…you upset Mama" InuYasha yelled

"You're the one who upset her!"

"I'm not upset! And your not going to see that…that…!"

"Keh! See, Mama agrees!"

"InuYasha! That's not fair. Mama, this guy is abusing students, they cant get him, if I can…."

"But your not, I said you can't and I have the say" InuYasha cut in.

"Osuwari" InuYasha kissed the tile.  
"Temee"  
"Kagome that was uncalled for"  
"Mama, listen please…I have to do this…because if he wins, someone else is going to get hurt, and I cant let that happen"  
"Oy! Kagome! I understand how you feel, but, I'm sorry. This time I agree with InuYasha. No"  
"But Mama"  
"She said no Kagome" InuYasha got up from the floor "Now, let it go"

_-End Flashback-_

"Here, I brought you some water." InuYasha sat next to her, kissing her quickly, seeing how her hands were shaking.

"Are you sure your okay?" InuYasha took her hand, intertwining their fingers.

"I'm okay." She lay her head on his shoulder "I'm sorry InuYasha, I imagine your probably madder than all hell at me."

"Yeah, but there's plenty of time for me to give you hell later, right now I just want to hold you."

"I'm sorry InuYasha, I'm so sorry." InuYasha took the water from her hand and pulled her against him.

"Kagome…damn it. Why didn't you listen to me? You could have been hurt."

_-Flashback-_

Kagome waited for the secretary to leave the office for the day before slipping in. She double checked the voice activated tape recorded in her pocket then put it back in place and opened the door.

"What the hell am I doing?" she thought, suddenly hit with nerves as she stood outside Sato's office. The building was nearly empty and would be completely so soon. It was a Friday, no one stuck around long on Fridays.

"I can't do this!" She turned

"What do you want Higurashi?"

Busted.

"Sato-sama…I" shit! Well, nothing ventured nothing gained right? "I was hoping to talk to you about the points being taken against me"

"My decision has been um made Higurashi, you uh should concider yourself fortunate that I uh am allowing you to continue in the program after what your gangster boyfriend pulled the other day."

He turned and went into his office, Kagome followed.

"Sato-sama, this isn't right, that girl was the one who started it."

The door slammed shut behind her, no one was there.

"Welcome miko" Sato smiled from behind his desk "I've been waiting for this opportunity."

"What is this Sato?" Kagome backed against the door, trying the knob. Though the door did not lock it wouldn't turn.

"Don't bother with that yariman, it wont work. You may also call me Sinepon." His shape shifted to a very tall demon, with light green hair, eyes and markings.

"You're a demon." Kagome said

"Afraid so. Modern day demons have learned to sense miko and disguise ourselves from them, so don't feel too badly about missing my identity. How else would we have survived all these years?" Sinepon began to advance.

"Where is Sato-sama?" Kagome tried the knob again, then moved away as Sinepon approached.

"Oh, he's hanging around somewhere." Sato appeared, having been attached to the wall with some kind of purple netting. He was in suspended animation, as InuYasha had been when Kagome found him on the tree years before.

"Let him go, now." Kagome glared

"Perhaps, when I am done with you." Sinepon was still across the room from her, Kagome now stood behind the desk.

"What do you want with me?"

"What would anyone want with a yariman?" He laughed "But we have business to finish first."

Kagome wanted to be sick. "What business?"

"The Shikon no Tama. I want it."

"I don't have it."

"But you can use your miko powers, to call for it." He began to advance on her again.

"What?"

"Higurashi Kagome, the priestess who had the power to transcend time, The legendary priestess who controlled the Shikon no Tama and could call it to her hand by will"  
"I cant do that."

Sinepon was next to her in a blink "But you can. And you will."

"No, I wont. I'd rather die."

"Well yariman, that can be arranged too." Kagome was knocked to the floor, straddled by Sinepon. "Now, call for the Shikon no Tama."

"No!"

Kagome spit at him. Sinepon slapped her, bloodying her lip and mouth.

Sinepon put his hand on her throat and began to squeeze.

"Call for the no Tama."

"Never!"

"Then Die Temee!"

Kagome began to lose consciousness and the last thing she saw was a man with a long black braid busting through the door, then everything went black...

When Kagome woke, she was laying on the sofa in the teachers lounge in InuYasha's arms. The man with the black braid was talking to Sato.

_End Flashback_

"InuYasha…who is that man, the one with the braid?"

InuYasha smiled and laughed softly "I'll let him tell you, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." He lifted his voice "Kagome would like to know who you are."

Sato turned first, grinning, then the other man turned, nearly causing Kagome to faint in shock again. He wore jeans, faded almost to the point of whiteness, with holes in random places. A light blue t-shirt with a dark blue flannel shirt open over it and a baseball cap backwards. A long black braid reached to his knees, but the demon markings were unmistakable, even if his hair color was different.

"Sesshomaru!" She gasped "But how…"

"Kagome, I am glad that you are well. Still just as reckless as you were five hundred years ago however, your going to put my brother into a coronary condition if you keep scaring him like that." Sesshomaru smiled at her, coming closer.

"Sesshomaru…how…." Kagome shook her head, as if she were seeing things.

"Sesshy and I have been friends for a long time." Sato nodded

"I became concerned when Yosh didn't show for our weekly poker game last night, I use his paycheck to supplement my income." Sesshomaru laughed.

_Sesshy? Poker? WTF?_

"I'll explain it all later" InuYasha whispered in her ear, kissing the side of her head.

"I came this morning to check on him, he seemed odd, I knew there was something amiss when I recognized your name on paperwork on his desk." Sesshomaru went on to explain, taking a large drink of soda.

"When Sesshomaru saw you come, he called me, then came in to listen. Just in time it turned out." InuYasha finished.

"Kami, I don't know how to thank you Sesshomaru." Kagome said, shaking her head.

Sesshomaru only smiled.

* * *

-----------------------------

* * *

_InuYasha walked down the long hallway looking for Kagome. She had gone behind his back and come here without telling him, putting herself in incredible danger._

_Finally he found a door and pushed it open. The room was blinding white and Kagome lay awake on a table. She turned her head and called to him._

_"InuYasha! Help me!"_

_He ran forward, only to be stopped by a barrier inches away from her._

_"InuYasha, please help me!"_

_He reached down for Tessiaga to dissolve the barrier, it flamed red as the masked demon stepped forward holding a huge sacrificial dagger._

_"You bastard! Let her go!" He screamed_

_InuYasha remembered the red barrier breaking Tessiaga he held and swung with a violent swing, but the barrier dissolved the mighty fang._

_He reached for her again, trying desperately to get to her through the barrier as the masked demon laughed at him._

_"InuYasha, please, help me!" She cried_

_She turned away from him, as if realizing a truth. "You would help me if I were Kikyo!"_

_"No, Kagome! I'm trying, I don't know what to do!"_

_Kagome looked at him one last time. "You don't want to save me because I'm not Kikyo."_

_"No! That's not true!" He screamed, desperate to get to her_

_Kagome looked away again, this time to the demon with the dagger._

_"Kill me."_

_The demon nodded, then plunged the dagger deep into her chest, bringing forth an amazing gush of blood.  
The laughed at InuYasha's screams, pulled the dagger from Kagome's chest, licking it clean._

_"Your dead you bastard!" InuYasha screamed through his sobs._

_"Whatever you say, my dear InuYasha"_

_The demon pulled off his mask._

_InuYasha stared into his own face._

* * *

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* * *

Kagome paced the hallway outside her room

His screams terrified her, but on what was suppose to be good advice she was allowing him to bring his nightmare to completion.

If this didn't work she was going to brain Ayumi and Hojo.

"No! Kagome!!" He screamed again

Mrs. Higurashi appeared at the bottom of the stairwell. His screams had woken her for the third night in a row. Mrs. Higurashi had expected difficulties with Kagome after her recent trauma, not InuYasha. She loved this boy like he was one of her own. In her heart, he WAS one of her own. Still, she and Kagome hadn't a clue how to help him. They felt useless. He thrashed around in the bed now, calling to Kagome in a cross between a loud talking and outright screaming.

"Another?" She began to climb the stairs.

She nodded, meeting her halfway and sitting down next to her on the stair. They sat together quietly for several minutes, listening to his ranting. "Such a horrible nightmare" Mrs. Higurashi remarked

"They're getting worse mama. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know how to make his nightmare's go away sweetie, but until you figure it out, just love him."

She hugged her, then turned and went back down the stairs to her room. Kagome sighed, then returned to her pacing.

A minute later InuYasha woke; he sat straight up, his breath coming hard and fast.  
When he was calm again he noticed Kagome, sitting on her legs at the end of the bed "What are you doing up?" his voice was harsh, reminding her of how he talked when they had first known one another.

"You had another nightmare, didn't you?" She scooted forward reaching out to put her hand on his.

InuYasha nodded reluctantly. "Yeah." He lay back, hooking his fingers with hers.

"Will you talk to me about them? Please."

He shook his head. "Kagome, I don't want to talk about them."

"InuYasha, you need to." The time for ignoring was past. She couldn't bear to see him tormented anymore.

He let go of her hand, rolling over away from her "I told you, there's no point. Now just,… just drop this Kagome."

"I can't. Your nightmares are getting worse, tonight your screams woke mama and…"

InuYasha sat up, looking at her strangely.

"So you don't want me being a bother to your family anymore? Is that it?"

Kagome gasped, how the hell he had gotten that into his head.

"I never said that InuYasha."

He rolled the opposite direction, pulling himself out of bed. He snatched up his robe and hoari, tossing them on and getting them in place in record time.

"InuYasha? What are you doing?" She slid out of bed, reaching for his sleeve.

"I'm going back to where I won't bother people. To where I belong." His words stung her. He picked up Tessiaga, securing it in its proper place.

He ran down the stairs, he seemed to hesitate at the bottom, and then he opened the sliding door and began walking towards the well house.

Kagome quickly slipped her shoes on, then she ran after him, catching up to him under Goshinboku and grabbing his sleeve. "InuYasha…"

"Go back inside Kagome, your gonna freeze to death." He turned, trying to pull his sleeve out of her grasp.

"You belong here InuYasha. You belong with me."

InuYasha wouldn't turn and look at her, her tone told him she was crying. Not the normal tears, but the huge ones, the ones that meant that he had wronged her. The ones she had always worn when he hurt her with Kikyo. He didn't want to see them. He didn't want to know what his weakness was doing to her.

He spoke, not turning around.

"I'm not so sure about that anymore Kagome."

Kagome felt like she had been punched in the stomach, but she had to ask. "You're not sure about what InuYasha? Being here or being with me?"

He spoke just loud enough for her to hear.

"Both"

He pulled his sleeve from her limp fingers. He didn't turn, or even look at her over his shoulder. He heard the snow crunch behind him as her shaking legs collapsed from under her and she fell down onto her knees. At the well house as he opened the door, he caught the sound of her tears.

InuYasha tried to walk through the door, to go to the well, but his feet felt frozen to spot. Her scent was carried to him on the gentle winter breeze, soft, gentle and oh so sweet, fruity like the shampoo she used, musky like the perfume she wore. Her natural scent, clean, pure, like fresh air and fine line dried silk. She was pure and innocent, yet her kisses left him with the desire to make love to her. He picked up the sound of her heartbeat, at the moment beating in perfect time with his. They were one heart.

He turned his head and caught her in the corner of his eye, slowly turning to take in the entire vision.  
She was breathtakingly beautiful, yet heartbreakingly sad Her face rested in her hands as her body shook with pain. Clothed in all in white, yet bathed in the blue of the full moon. She looked like a weeping angel, on her knees in the snow.

The moonlight kissed her hair, encasing it in a blue halo, bare shoulders and arms reflected a spectacular blue radiance, like protective wings folded over her sweet innocent face, attempting to hide her tears. Fresh snow sparkled around her, more brilliant than the shards of adamant that flew from Tessiaga when he released the Kongosouha.

InuYasha's mind began to clear, and he saw the situation for what it was. Kagome was beautiful, sweet and kind. She was pure, loving and devoted completely to him. She had been through hell in the months since Miroku died, and it wasn't over yet. She knew this, and still she was more worried about helping him than how she felt. She had nearly been raped just three days before, and she was begging him to let her help him.  
She was his, and he was walking away from her. Why?

Because he was proud! Too proud to tell her…to admit that he…

He was such a dumbass!

He quietly shut the well house door, then retraced his steps, returning to her. He knelt across from her, their knees touching. She was still crying softly, and it broke his heart to know that once again it was his fault. He reached out gently taking her hands, pulling them away from her tear stained face. She looked at him, her eyes red and swollen, yet sparkling with surprise and hope.

"InuYasha…? You… came back?"

He nodded, clutching her hands tightly in his.  
"Why?" she whispered, terrified of the answer.

"I…"

His voice caught, choking him up. He was unable to speak. He moved closer, their bodies touching, so he could speak in whispers.

"My life is where you are."

"But you said…"

He lowered his head, kissing her softly.

"Forgive me, please. I didn't want to tell you…didn't want you to know."

"Know what?" Her eyes searched his face, looking for some kind of clue. Kagome lifted her hand to InuYasha's cheek.

"How weak I…" He closed his eyes, shaking his head "That's not it. It makes me weak. I'm…" His throat felt tight, and then he couldn't speak at all. He looked into her eyes, pleading with her to understand, to give him time. He let go of her hands, covering his face.  
Kagome rose up on her knees and took his hands again, pulling them away from his face. She left them to rest at their sides. He looked at her for a minute, the squeezed his eyes shut.

"I…I'm afraid " He opened his eyes, letting the tears and his fear to the surface for her to see, surprised when she didn't look sick or disgusted by them.

"InuYasha…" She grasped his arms, looking deep into his eyes.

"I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose you Kagome!" It came out in a rush as he fell forward, laying his head against her chest. He pulled his arms around her, like a small child. His body shook with his sobs, emotion gaining intensity until it exploded, his head falling down into her lap, his entire body involved as he vented his anguish. She lay her cheek on the top of his head, wrapping her arms around his shaking shoulders.

"Shhhhhhh…"She whispered softly, rubbing behind his ears with her fingers "Its okay. " Her voice gently soothed him, whispering the words he had once whispered to her. "Just let it all go love, your gonna be okay. "

Kagome knew, this was InuYasha's break through. She remembered only too well, the day on the dock when she had seen the blood and freaked out. Kagome had been held in the arms of a handsome hanyou as he gently soothed her fear. It was the day she had finally started getting better.

She gently brushed her fingers through his hair his hair while she kissed his ears, leading him in the same direction he'd had to bully her in four months before. A long time later, his tears finally beginning to dry, InuYasha sat up and looked into the eyes of his blue angel.

"Your going to be okay InuYasha. I promise."

He nodded, a small smile on his face as he reached for her, pulling her up and into his arms

* * *

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* * *

Mrs. Higurashi had just begun to make after breakfast cleaning noises when InuYasha carefully eased his arm from the soft tumble of Kagome's hair, quietly rising from the warmth of the bed. Kagome shivered without his body heat, InuYasha picked up the extra blanket from the desk chair, unfolded it and laid it over her. He felt the weirdest mixture of happiness and guilt. He had been relieved of the most horrible burden that he had been carrying for…well, for longer than anyone with any sense should ever carry something. However, in route to releasing his torment, he had kept Kagome out in the freezing cold and snow for over an hour without a coat.

When his storm calmed he realized too late that she was now soaking wet, in only a thin sleeveless cotton nightgown, sitting on her knees in a snow drift. He yelled at her, asked her if she was out of her fucking mind or trying to catch pneumonia. He picked her up and carried her into the house, promptly running into Mrs. Higurashi. He immediately took the blame; he knew if she got sick it would be all his fault. She had decided to stay out of it, but warning them both that if one of them somehow managed to accidentally kill the other one, she would be rather unhappy.

InuYasha had immediately ordered Kagome into a hot bath, with orders to not come out until she was warmed through, then he promptly lay down and fell asleep. He had woke several times and checked her, she seemed to be fever free so far, and not a cough or sniffle.  
He threw his inner robe on, then made his bleary eyed way down the stairs, missing the kitchen doorframe slightly and stubbing his toe.

"KUSO!" he yelled loudly, making Mrs. Higurashi jump. She turned around, seeing him holding his toe and hopping about.

"Kuso to you also, InuYasha-kun." She bowed, smirking sarcastically.

"I'm corrupting these nice people" InuYasha thought with a grin as he pulled a chair out and slid up to the table.

"Sorry Mama" InuYasha grinned "I am still mostly asleep. The door frame got in my way."

"I so hate it when the door does that." She smiled, setting a plate and cup of tea in front of him.

"Thank you" InuYasha bowed, realizing just how good Mrs. Higurashi was getting at this sarcasm thing. "I really need to get out of here"

"You're leaving?" Mrs. Higurashi said, turning away from the sink.

"Huh?" InuYasha hadn't realized that he had spoken out loud "Oh! No!" He smiled "Sorry Mama, I was just thinking that it sounds as if you are picking up my sarcasm."

She laughed "Oh InuYasha-kun! I was sarcastic long before you met Kagome-chan! So save your apology for another time."

He smiled a little "In that case, allow me to apologize for last night."

"For what?" She raised her eyebrow at him

InuYasha looked at her like she was crazy "For what? All of it, keeping you up with my nightmares, hurting Kagome again, dragging her out into the snow and cold, acting like a baby…"

"InuYasha-kun, don't be silly. Often it's hard to admit how we feel, and when we hurt or are afraid, that is usually when it is the hardest. You hurt yourself by holding your pain and fear inside, and you help no one. Yes, InuYasha-kun, you hurt Kagome-chan when you tried to leave her. But you brought her joy, you were smart, you turned around and came back to her, and together you made everything all right."

"Yeah, we did" His mind flashed back to his vision of her sitting in the snow, his blue angel surrounded by sparkling adamant.

"However InuYasha-kun, you did drag her out in the cold. If she gets sick, you get to be the one to take care of her. I warn you, Kagome-chan is a big baby when she is sick…'Mama get this…mama get that'…up the stairs, down the stairs, every twenty minutes. Well InuYasha-kun …it is YOUR job now! HA! HA!" She grinned, making him laugh.

"So far she's fine" He laughed "Still, I wish I knew… Some way to make it up to her"

"Just your being with her is enough."

"I'm not good with words like Kagome is, I'm more into actions. I just need to think. To find the perfect way to show her…I mean to let her see, I want her to know exactly how much I love her."

"That's very sweet InuYasha-kun. When you think of something, I will do all I can to help you. You just let me know"  
Mrs. Higurashi began paging through the newspaper. InuYasha was only half watching, until something caught his eye, reminding him of something Kagome had said some time ago.

He smiled, catching Mrs. Higurashi's attention.

InuYasha knew exactly what to do.

* * *

Chapter 12 Preview

The Unbreakable Rewrite

And you thought it was good the FIRST time around!


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